I'm a single mum to a 6 year old DS. I left my marriage to his father when DS was a baby following months of domestic abuse, threats to kill me and repeated threats to abduct DS to father's country of origin.
Naming the country could be outing, but it's a place without an extradition treaty in place with the UK (meaning I'd have no chance in hell of getting DS back out of there if his father went ahead with the abduction).
I took every possible legal action to prevent this and managed to get aware from the marriage safely (with the help of the police). Obtained court orders in relation to the abduction threats and threats against me.
He was also convicted in criminal court of attacking me.
After conviction, he was removed from the UK (as his visa to live here was depending on me as as his wife sponsoring him).
So, he was put in immigration detention then sent back to his country.
That was 5 years ago.
DS has never asked me about his father until last night... I was caught by surprise with his questions that he asked me at bedtime:
"Mummy, do I have a daddy?"
"Mummy, why do my friends have daddies?"
"Everyone must have a daddy somewhere..".
Trying not to show him any unease on the subject, I replied with something like: "There are so many different kinds of families these days.." "some people don't have a mummy or can't live with their mummy.." or "some people don't have grandparents or uncles, but you have these". I didn't directly answer his question about where his daddy is, and he seemed to quickly move on to talk about something completely different within seconds... but just wondering how much longer I should hold back on telling him that YES he DOES have a daddy somewhere in the world..
Any other parents in this position? How did you handle it?