Struggling to bond..

[AmberLillyxx]

This post is really hard for me to admit but didn’t know where else to ask...
My son is 14 months old and I still haven’t bonded with him. I don’t feel a rush of love for him and as hard as it is to say, I often feel a lot of hate or anger towards him. I find him a really hard child to look after in comparison to my older son, but not sure whether this is due to the lack of bond.
Both of my sons have different dads and my 14 month old (who I struggle bonding with) came from a very toxic and abusive relationship - emotionally, financially, physically and sexually. I’m almost certain that contributes towards why I can’t bond with him but I thought by now some sort of a bond would come😭
I guess I’m just looking for some similar stories, advice or options? I feel like it’s not far on either of us to carry on the way we are!

Hi OP, I’m so sorry that you’re having such a tough time, I think it sounds like you need to have a really honest conversation with your GP or health visitor about how you’re feeling, you’re right it isn’t fair to go on as you are if you’re regularly feeling hatred and anger. This may well all be linked to the trauma you experienced, and the GP will hopefully be able to offer you support/therapy to help build that bond with your son. Xxx

I wasn't in the same position with the father but I had all sorts of trouble bonding, stemming from PND and traumatic birth. It's really quite common but not often talked about. Second the above poster, could you chat to your gp or health visitor? They'll have heard it before and will be able to help. Are there children's centres nearby that might have activities you could do with you baby?
It's really hard, but it's not your fault at all- and in time the bond will come. Are you feeling well/ happy yourself?