Hello! I am wondering if anyone can help. I am on my absolute knees with my eldest to the extent that today I have spoken to the GP and also begged his school to refer us to social services, I am so desperate for help.
He is extremely intense. He can be intensely lovely, extremely good company, very kind/caring etc, but he can also be very intensely angry/difficult/defiant/provocative. He can keep this up for hours and we feel like we are walking on eggshells. When he is like this he can't see sense and needs everything to be on his own terms.
A year or two ago I would have fully blamed my own parenting but now I am confident to say we're pretty good parents. We're patient, calm, don't shout (very often), don't issue consequences in the moment, discuss after, lots of positive praise when things go well, lots of telling him how much we love him. He is the same at school. Has lots of additional emotional help. Very bright boy.
We have two younger sons. One with diagnosed autism, who is a dams sight easier to look after than the eldest, and one toddler who seems neurotypical and is very easy.... both of these also help me to feel this isn't jus a case of bad parenting.
I suspect the eldest may also be on the spectrum and also ADHD...? I don't know. I've certainly reached the point that I feel the only option is to explore medication. I feel really isolated and like no one understands.
Anyway...this is all background. What I am after is stories of other people who have had children like this and how they are/were in their teenage years and adulthood. Good or bad stories are fine, I just want to know what I might be dealing with...
Any experiences gratefully received (sorry this was so long!!)