Pros and cons for age gap with baby number 2.

[BubbleBathLover]

Our ds is currently 19 months. I am now starting to think about when we might ttc baby number 2. We have always said we want 2 but my husband wavers between how long he would like to wait, I think he is just unsure about the newborn stage again.

My sister and I have an 8 year age gap and although we are becoming much closer now, growing up I felt I had more of a mothering role for her. Whilst I was off to uni or going on first holidays she was still in primary school. My dh and his brothers have exactly 3 years between. He has always been very close with his brothers, particularly his older brother but again his younger brother and older brother (6 years between them) are only becoming closer now that they are adults.

My question is what are the pros and cons for the age gap that you have between your children, big or small? Ideally I would like to begin trying this summer, this would mean at least a 2 year 10 month age gap. We were very lucky to fall pregnant the first time with ds but obviously we can’t be sure the next time.

If you only want 2 kids then IMO 3 years is the perfect gap. Small enough that they’re close and play growing up, but at 3 your older child will be more independent- out of the cot, high chair, pram, toilet trained, can communicate well. They will get the 30 free hours in childcare so only 1 set of nursery fees to pay and looking ahead you’ll only have 1 child doing major exams/at uni (probably) at the same time.

All my friends have kids ranging 18 months-3 year gap and at that age literally every month older that the eldest is makes it easier on you as a parent.

We have 2.5 years and wish we’d waited a bit longer but didn’t know how long it would take and ado haven’t ruled out baby 3 so didn’t want huge gap between 1 and3.

I’m for a small gap. 18 months - 2 years for DH and my siblings. I think up to 3 years is pretty good.

DS definitely wasn’t an easy baby and even now his sleep can be all over the place but I’m of the thinking why extend the little sleep years any longer than need be 😂

I personally would start trying just now but due to changes at work I think it would be best to wait a bit longer.

2 years and 2 months between dc1 and 2. First 18 months of dc2's life is a blur - both in nappies, having naps, double nursery fees. It was a tough few years but its an absolute breeze now they're almost 8 and 6. We had dc3 last year (when older two were 6 and 4) and it was like starting from scratch all over again! Because we already had an established family life and routines she's had to slot into that and luckily she's been an extremely easy baby! Pros and cons to each. Personally, I don't enjoy the baby stage as much and wanted 2 closer together to get theough it quicker, and don't regret that decision(dc3 was a surprise bonus baby! Also no regrets, but not the way we planned it!)

I'm watching this threat with interest as I'm in the same boat as you OP!
However we have been trying for 2 months so far and no luck with conceiving baby no 2 yet (even though we fell 1st time with Ds) but I'm hoping we do this month (3rd time lucky!) and then we'll have a 2 year 11 month gap.
Our reasons for wanting this gap:

• DS has been quite a full on baby for us and so we couldn't have managed anything smaller
• 30 free hours just as I go on maternity leave again wahoo! alone time with baby but also a couple of days with them both to get the best of both worlds and encourage their own relationship
• DS should hopefully be potty trained and a bit tidier, e.g. less mess when eating, (slightly) less spilt drinks
• DS should also hopefully be able to entertain himself for slightly longer periods of time
• 3 year gap gives enough distance in age that they won't be ultra competitive like me and my siblings were (15 mo this apart!) and this also means they'll feel more individual and less like walking in siblings footsteps (I remember when my GCSEs were worse than my brothers a year after he got his -grrr)
• Reusing baby items and clothes etc without having to buy new ones!!

Good luck OP!

My only hesitation is that I have some concerns about ds communication and interaction so I want to make sure I can give him the attention he needs to help with this.

Definitely pros and cons to it all!

And obviously it may not work out no matter how much we plan!