When did you start making mum friends?

[december2020]

We've moved to an area a few years back, but with no family or friends close by.
Due to work and commutes, it meant we never really got to make friends in the area - all fine, we chose to live here.

Now I've got a 14month DS and I could really do with some 'mum friends'.

So my question is, did you make any friends through your kids? And if so, when and how?

Mine are 5 and 7 and I still haven't.

I made some friends on DC1 first Mat leave after moving to a new place by going to loads of different groups, forcing myself to chat to everyone and using the mum apps (mush I think). Made a few really good friends. DC1. has just started school and I’ve made a few friends at school drop off/charting at kids parties. Much less close to them but building up some friendships there.

When my son was about 3 maybe? We moved to a new town and I was working full time and commuting but I made sure I was always smiley with the other parents at nursery. Made an effort when we saw the other parents and kids around town and eventually managed to set up a few play dates. I was lucky a lot of kids from my sons nursery then went to the same infant school so we ended up at the same class parties in reception- I made an effort even when I really could not be arsed to go. I also found local clubs a good way to meet other parents eg football, rugby. It was all hard work at first but now my son is 8 and I have an amazing group of local mum friends. Hope the same happens for you.

Real friends, when DC's were 4&6.

When they were younger I was so lacking in confidence. I wanted to take them to the local mother and toddler when I was on ML - but could not bring myself to. It was torture.....going to, going to....then make a stupid excuse to myself on the day.....not going but going through,pressuring myself all over again.

Then I moved and had to get on with it alone. I didn't know anyone, and newly SP. I knew if I didn't take the opportunity offered, I'd have no one. I was invited to a girls night by a school gate mum ....and really had to force myself.

I'm still friends with these school gate mums years later.

Do you work full time? If you do I think it’s quite hard to make mum friends. The mum friends I’ve made have been from playgroup, library group, NCT (bit late for you), nursery queues (and subsequent birthday parties). I have an only child so I’m very keen to make mum friends so she can have play dates!

I’ve got a 4 year old ds in nursery, and moved to where we are now a year ago (so during COVID)
I say hello to a few mums at the nursery gates but that’s literally it.
Bit fucking depressing!

I made new mum friends at
NCT group
Postnatal group at the health centre
Baby/toddler groups at the church hall
Baby massage class
Baby swimming

Basically I signed up for lots of things, more for me than for the baby!

You also have to be quite proactive ie. Suggesting a play date and asking for their number. If they make excuses move on and don’t take it personally you won’t click with everyone but I have made some great friends this way (equally lots haven’t worked out!).

One from bump&babies, most from nursery when they started having birthday parties at age 4 and a few more from school.

@PollysPockets

I’ve got a 4 year old ds in nursery, and moved to where we are now a year ago (so during COVID) I say hello to a few mums at the nursery gates but that’s literally it. Bit fucking depressing!

Same here tbh. My DS is nearly 2, and has one friend he plays with all the time. Im trying to think of a way to arrange a playdate for them without it being weird