What can i do to make exh see sense with regard to Ds2?

[ShakeysGirl]

He is 4 and i have been trying to get him out of night nappies. He is consistently dry whilst he is here but when exh has him he insists of putting him back in them, which means that he wets the bed for the first couple of nights he is back here. He also gives him a bottle at bedtime and lets him use a potty during the day. It took me ages to get him to use the toilet! He undoes all my hard work and thinks its amusing. I've tried talking to him but he has always been petty and this is his of getting to me.

tell him your son is going to get bullied at school if his dad keeps encouraging him to act like a baby

(actually I doubt this is true but it is sever enough for him to understand he is doing real damage in the name of pettiness)

I've tried pointing out that people will take the mick and tease him but he still prefers to annoy me and make my life harder, hes always been spiteful and petty and does it in such a way that no one else can see, they all thought i was mad leaving him and i am the outcast in my family now whereas he is welcomed with open arms. Poor Ds2 was told what a big boy he was only to be forced into being a baby again. Would i be unreasonable to shove the wet sheets in a bag for him to wash?

If your son does not want to wear a nappy and is fine without one, it is abusive to make him wear one.

I would google the related legal bumf but really don't want that google search to throw up anything nasty, as I don't have a net nanny.

If you stopped asking about it would he stop making ds wear them?

Tell ds if he wakes in the night at his dad's house to pull down the nappy and go to the toilet as he would at home.

OH Rudolph I was just about to suggest that.
That?s what I do with my ex when he does things with DS just to annoy me ? I stop being annoyed/don?t mention it and it suddenly stops?

Does he buy them for ds2 to wear, seems a lot of effort for him to go to just to be difficult if so ? tbh if your ds was that resistant he'd refuse to wear it/take it off to pee and keep it dry. Similarly he presumably could choose to use the toilet in day without recrimination. I'd be inclined to leave nighttime for now as he sounds confused, just praise the success.

As to your exh's attitude perhaps ds2 has had a mishap and he can't be bothered with the effort it requires. Have you asked him to throw the potty and bottle away ?

Ds came back from his dads asking for his nappy back on. I don't have any in the house anymore tho. Should i put nappies back on him then until exh decides he wants him out of them or carry on without them and hope he gets used to it being different here? Hes lazy, if hes got a nappy on hes more than happy to wee in it and wouldn't bother taking it off to go.

I would carry on without personally. Then I would explain to DS that he?s a big boy and doesn?t need them anymore and try and persuade him to tell his dad the same.
Poor lad

Tell him he's a big boy but addy likes to pretend he's still a little boy. Just try and laugh about it but don't change the way you do things at home

I think I would just put him in pull ups s the whole situations is unfair and confusing for your ds, perhaps you can reward him for a dry pull up in the morning (when they are dry) and leave it at that.

Your ex is being horrid & unfair but you can't change that.

I've spoken to him about it this afternoon and the reason he is giving is because its to cold for him to go without a nappy and if he wets the bed he will freeze. He doesn't have central heating. Is this a good reason? My parents didn't have it either and i've no memories about being frozen to a sheet!

Depends how much it's confusing your ds. I would be tempted to say he can't stay the night if he's going to keep confusing him.

but he doesn't wet the bed, right? Unless your ex keeps confusing him, in which case he will wet the bed!

I suggest putting a fleece blanket down on top of his sheet, in direct contact with his skin. that way, he will still be warm if he is wet.