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Parenting

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Original poster

me and dd 6months had a nice snuggle in bed this am, but why do i feel gulity?

71 replies

robinredbreast · 31/12/2007 10:31

took her out of mb and brought her into the bed with me when dh went to work, dd was still asleep this was about 8am and we had a lovely li in till about 930.
i woke her about 830,so we where both awake just not up
for some reason i feel very guilty as if i should get her up at 8am and start the day
dd is the only one so theres no other children to think about

OP posts:

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Anna8888 · 31/12/2007 11:33

Yes, it's going to be much nicer for her.

Most importantly, you are giving your daughter control over her own life and feelings.

Original poster

robinredbreast · 31/12/2007 11:43

omg i have never thought of it like that before anna, yes its like ive been controlling her

OP posts:

Anna8888 · 31/12/2007 11:47

Yes, you have - you have been overriding her feelings.

But you seem to do that because your parents brought you up to think that having a lie-in (ie sleeping until you are ready to wake) was "immoral", hence the guilt.

But why should getting the right amount of sleep for your own body/needs be "immoral"? Surely the very best thing each one of us can do is respond to our own bodily needs for sleep (and food, and water, and exercise) such that we are at our own personal best all the time?

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moljam · 31/12/2007 11:49

dont feel bad!wish i could still do that!make most of it.

kerala · 31/12/2007 11:49

God make the most of it (up at 5am with lively 18 month old)

Original poster

robinredbreast · 31/12/2007 13:39

anna i think your right that it comes from mum and dad

even though they are retired,they still get up early, to do nothing

omg ive turned into my parents !!

OP posts:

brusselbeansprouts · 31/12/2007 13:42

Nobody looks back on the baby months and wishes that they had got out of bed earlier!

This is just the feelings your parents have passed on to you. Ignore them!!

OverMyDeadBody · 31/12/2007 14:06

crazy lady enjoy it while you can and banish those guilty feelings!
You where bonding with your DD, what's more important than that?

Original poster

robinredbreast · 31/12/2007 14:34

you lot are so right

thats it no more waking dd up in the mornings

OP posts:

lionbeast · 31/12/2007 21:39

i know what you mean, i do this too
get dd up by 8am and the same for no real reason most of the time, guess i just feel that i ought to

whomovedmychocolate · 31/12/2007 21:42

I quite often take DD (14 months) back to bed and am grateful for any sleep I get whether I get up at 5 or 10 am!

These moments are precious, your LO will never be that age again, treasure every moment (particularly the quiet ones!)

GillL · 01/01/2008 18:38

I have to wake my dcs (2.9 and 4mo) up at 6:30 on weekdays because I work but at weekends and holidays I let them wake up naturally. This makes them more rested and I get a lay in too. More often than not they naturally wake around 8am. Enjoy it

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 10:25

hi it me ...again
right im trying really hard not to wake dd up and to let her wake up naturally its 1020am and shes been asleep since 9pm
am i doing the right thing here?
is there a danger she might dehydrate?
is this normal?
im also scared to put her in her own room as she is such a deep sleeper

there has been all the normal workig noise from dh, him having a shower,shaving with an electric razor he even said goodbye to her and kissed her this was about 8am
and shes still asleep now

what would you do?
i have a strong urge to wake her,but also a strong urge to let her wake naturally as that must be nicer for her.
and to see what time she will wake up as an experiment at least

OP posts:

franke · 02/01/2008 10:31

Let her be. No she won't dehydrate.

specialmagiclady · 02/01/2008 10:31

She's only been asleep 13 hours. That's not an enormous amount of time for a baby. If you'd put her to sleep at 7pm and she woke up now, I'd be more worried. Get the ironing done or whatever while she's kipping.

Ooh - or have a lovely bath!

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 10:40

what sort of time would you start getting worried

OP posts:

colditz · 02/01/2008 10:42

If she has been asleep since nine I genuinely would leave her alone until at least 11.30.

She will not dehydrate, she will wake up if she even gets slightly thirsty. She will notn starve, she will wake up if she gets hungry. Stop panicking - she is probably sleeping because you have always woken her up and she is tired!

Anna8888 · 02/01/2008 10:43

Don't worry .

If you've been in the habit of waking her, her "natural" sleep routine isn't established and she makes take a few days to find it.

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 10:46

lol colditz your probablly right

just feels "funny" that dd 6 months is still sparko at now 1045

and im tink right well dd should of had her breakfast by now

OP posts:

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 10:46

but what sort of time would you be worried?

or wouldnt you worry at all?

OP posts:

Anna8888 · 02/01/2008 10:50

If she hasn't woken by lunchtime, wake her.

But I repeat, if you have been in the habit of waking her, she isn't sleeping according to her own natural rhythms, and you will need to let her find them over the course of several days. She may well be tired, as Colditz says.

The trouble with waking a baby is that the baby doesn't have the opportunity to show you what sleep he/she really needs. Sleep is like breastmilk - different babies need different amounts and you need to give them the opportunity to get as much as they need and to find their own rhythms/quantities.

colditz · 02/01/2008 10:55

Well, if you want her to definately be up at 8, you are going to have to put her to bed at 6, because babies often do sleep for 14 and 15 hour stretches.

I understand your anxiety, just keep going to look at her, or go back to bed and wallow around.

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 11:00

thanks for listening to me,i kniw i prob sound mad but you are really hlping me, well its now 11am and yes dd is still asleep so now shes been asleep for 14 hours

yes i keep peeping on her

OP posts:

SatsumaMoon · 02/01/2008 11:07

Your OP reminded me of the day I spent the whole afternoon on the sofa with dd sleeping and BFing - at the time I felt slightly guilty that we were doing nothing with our day but 10 years later I still remember that afternoon very fondly!

Original poster

robinredbreast · 02/01/2008 11:21

still sleeping ...
well i only have to get dd up if i need the car,as me and dh car share and i drop him off at work 5 mins away
only need it once maybe twice a week

so what time should i aim to put dd to bed?
should i aim to put her to bed at the same time each night ?

OP posts:

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