Addiction at 12

[Taz786]

My daughter is an extremely popular and intelligent girl who constantly is winning certificates in school and in general is very happy. However she repeatedly is going online talking to random people in chat rooms and I’ve caught her 4 times now. She knows the dangers, she’s seen predators being caught and jailed yet she just won’t stop. When she goes to school she will use her friends phone to login and start again. The last conversation I had with her she apologised and swore on my life she would not do it again. Today my wife and I found out she’s been talking on another online forum to what she thinks are kids but obviously you never know. I’m so angry with her because she’s so smart and she’s very clever in the way she apologies. Daddy take everything away from me, if you want get me adopted I don’t belong in a loving family like this you deserve a better daughter. She has no tears in her eyes and I know full well sympathy card she’s playing. She gets so much love, time from both my wife and I. She gets alone dates with us one on one and as a family. I just don’t know what to do anymore we have had so many conversations about it yet she said she’s addicted and can’t help herself and suggested we take her to rehab like they do in America (hand on face). Any ideas? Thank you.

I don’t understand, she’s chatting on forums? Or chat rooms…isnt this one?! your using right now?!

No everyone online is a Predator, I’m a single 30s something women.

Yes you can’t tell online but a lot of people she’s talking to may just be children like her… along as she’s warned about the dangers, never agrees to meet anyone, unless your present (as it may be another friend) not sure id stop her.

I met two of my boyfriends online at a young age. 2 healthily long relationships met on chat forum about cartoons.

She’s telling you to take everything away from her and she’s telling you she’s addicted so isn’t it obvious what you should do? Clue: She can’t go in chat rooms without the means to do so can she?

i don’t understand, she’s chatting on forums? Or chat rooms…isnt this one?!your using right now?!

Did you miss the part that says she's 12?

She can’t go in chat rooms without the means to do so can she?

Did you miss the part that says she uses friends phones?

Daddy take everything away from me, if you want get me adopted I don’t belong in a loving family like this you deserve a better daughter.

She's being very manipulative with this! I would be having more conversations around this response. Along the lines of reminding her you love her, you will always love her and you would never get rid of her! She is always secure in the family. It doesn't mean however she gets to do whatever she wants without consequences. There will be consequences to disobedience and bad behaviour. Such as removing phones/iPads or other means to access online forums.
Make sure she understands it's the behaviour you want to be "better" rather than your daughter herself. I'd hazard that she actually knows this but don't play that game or let her.
Remember also that she's 12. It doesn't matter how clever she is for a 12 year old, or how many certificates she wins. She's still 12. Still a child who thinks with child logic and a child's knowledge and wisdom. She won't and can't think like an adult.
Please do not accept any "swearing" on anyone's life. That's pretty unsavoury!

I used to go on child chat rooms with my friends at her house and it was filled with predators the chatroom was literallycalled kidschat or something like that. Everyone in school used to do it and it was a big joke to see what we could get people to do.

Its so crazy and dangerous to think of now. How many peados we watched on cam and how we would laugh.

I have a 12 year old son and he doesn't have a phone. He has a kindle and its on the highest setting for parental control. I also check up on what he is doing.

Your daughter does sound very intelligent and manipulative for her age. My son seems a lot more childlike than what you are describing.

I dont have too much advice but want to reassure you that keeping her off chat rooms is correct. I'm sure things have progressed and became a lot worse since I was 12.

Daddy take everything away from me, if you want get me adopted I don’t belong in a loving family like this you deserve a better daughter. She has no tears in her eyes

She sounds very manipulative quite frankly. I suspect you need to stop believing her when she says she'll never do it again, and take a hard line.

What does she do on these chat rooms? Just talking or forming relationships, arranging meet ups etc? Is she making up stuff like a completely different life for attention and sympathy?

Why does she need that outlet? Why aren't her friends enough?