When was a time as a parent that you felt like a failure?

[Wildflower222]

Today I took my daughter out to eat for lunch and let her play in the play place a bit afterwards. When I called her to let her know it was time to leave, she wouldn't come down. It was a big play area with tunnels that I couldn't get up in, so I felt pretty helpless. I ended up standing around looking like a fool and waiting for my daughter to listen for about 20 minutes before she finally did :/ Meanwhile, another set of parents come round and ask their kids to come down, and I'm watching in embarrasment as their kids listen to them and come. Feeling like a total failure as a parent! My daughter is 3 and my first so far, currently struggling with other behavioral issues as well (sometimes it seems like she is immune to discipline? Lol.) Would love it if others had stories to share to make me feel better about this! I can't be the only parent who's going through this, can I?

Don't be so hard on yourself that's not that bad!!!

It's a really tough age.

Mine listen most of the time and I think it's because we were very careful with consequences and we're also ruthlessly consistent with enforcing them.

So never ever threaten anything you're not willing to carry out. And however hard it is, if they don't do as you are asking after a clear warning, then you must carry it out.

We have definitely left playgroups / the park when I really wanted to stay but they had carried on with bad behaviour so that was it, we left. Calmly and without drama - but I said I was going to do it, so I did it.

It doesn't take many of those for them to realise that I am deadly serious so they don't want to risk it!

Don’t feel bad about it or question your parenting - it’s not you, it’s just 3 year olds are adorable arseholes.

If it makes you feel better, my second worst experience with my DTs was being out shopping with them and DH. Kids were being badly behaved so I took them out of the shop to go back to the car. We were in a retail park walking on the pavement, and DS managed to drop my hand and ran off towards the road. I bellowed at DD to stay put and legged it after him (he was surprisingly fast that day) and caught him just before he got to the crossing. Bollocked him whilst picking him up and raced to DD who had disappeared. Absolutely shat myself imagining her having been abducted, start bellowing her name only to find that she’d bimbled back to her Dad to wreak some more havoc in the shop. The single most horrifically embarrassing experience involved DS disappearing (hiding behind some trolleys), DS legging it into a lift whilst the doors were shutting, one ‘throw myself to the floor and scream’ tantrum each at the same time and a fight. We had literally popped in to M&S to grab something for their dinner because I had nothing in.

On the plus side they’re 4 now and are much, much nicer. 2-3 year olds are beautiful when they agree to behave, and nightmares when they don’t fancy it. It’s not you, it really is them.

Honestly that's really nothing to worry about. I had to take my three year old out of a small soft play once and she screamed and kicked and blew raspberries in my face. It was horrendous. She is now 6 and very well behaved, good mannered and happy. It was a short lived phase, but I won't ever forget it! X

When my sunny, cuddly, utterly joyful 3 year old turned into a sad, self loathing 16 year old. You spend every day questioning yourself and can say nothing because it's their sadness and you just have to be there, sure you've fucked up with no idea how to fix it.

Every bloody day when I lose the rag

DD1 puked every bit of milk she drank back up until 15 months. I was reassured that she had severe reflux and I was fine.

When DD2 was admitted and almost tube fed more than once in the first 17 weeks due to milk refusal, I again followed advice and weaned early and she’s thriving now.

Again fine until I popped into work and someone was asking me how she was getting on, and then casually said ‘I wonder if they’d have both been better if you’d breastfed’. Gutted me, and I still get a lump in my throat weeks later when I make DD2 a bottle only for her to refuse it.

When I just want to sit down and not play with my toddler but he won’t leave me alone - I feel guilty..

Explaining to my Mum friends that my almost teenage ds would not be able to go on a bike ride with their dc, his mates, as he can't ride a bike
I felt like an utterly awful incompetent mother who'd never learned her ds how to ride ( I did try when he was younger and have offered to buy new big bike and take him somewhere to practice but he's too embarrassed now).

When my 2 year old ate some codeine tablets out of the bin. As if that wasn't bad enough, the lecture I got from the 111 operator will be etched in my brain for the rest of my life. It wasn't like I'd crushed them up and sprinkled them on his cornflakes, but it certainly felt like it.

Thank you all for your kindness in sharing your stories and reassurances with me! Parenting is hard, but it's nice to know you're not alone!

All. The. Time. My DS has SEN and I feel like he's regressing. He does something stupid/ silly and I shout. I know I shouldn't shout but I do especially when he's shouting at me. His baby sister is a dynamo so I can't fully concentrate on him. I almost dread weekends and since lockdown don't see my friends. I said to my DP this morning while crying that I feel like a failure.

Single parent, had been cosleeping but was exhausted so tried to get 2 Yr old Dd to sleep in her bed. She has always been brilliantly behaved apart from staying in her own bed. She wouldn't stay on bed, it was late, she was crying and I shouted at her to stay in her bed. The next morning it was clear she had an awful ear infection with gunk running out of her ear. I felt awful, all she wanted was me, she was in pain and I shouted at her. She's a lovely 12 year old now, extremely well behaved and I've never shouted at her since.