9M old, to pud or not to pud…..?

[ShleepyMumma]

In the depths of weaning, hating it!
Never the less, we crack on. If my 9 month old eats fairly well at the meal, lunch or dinner, I offer a milky pudding (Greek yog or maybe an Ellas kitchen rice pudding thing).
My question is, would you offer a pudding if she doesn’t eat the dinner?
Tonight she was given a piece of chicken, piece of potato, parsnip fingers, and then some mashed up chicken stew. She had some parsnip, and some of the stew spoon fed (7 baby spoons maybe). She put chicken in mouth but took it out and wasn’t fussed. Didn’t try the potato. To get the stew spoon fed in I gave a slice of avocado and some blueberries as they are like safe food and thought it might encourage her to try the other stuff. Don’t want to be doing that, but sometimes you just think oh I give up! Anyway, all in all very little actually eaten. I didn’t give dessert as I want her to know that it won’t be given if she doesn’t eat the main.
Is that right? Is she too young to even recognise that? Would you have given it to just get something in her? Guaranteed she would have eaten yog or rice pudding, always does.
What do people think? She will have a bottle
of milk before bed but we are in that interim time between dinner and bed she’s not happy!

She’s only 9 months, her main source of nutrition should be her milk, I wouldn’t worry about dessert just yet and just offer bits of what your eating for your main. You shouldn’t worry about how much she’s taking at this age. My baby’s coming up to a year and he’s still not fully eating 3 proper meals a day!

I didn't offer pudding during the first 2 years or so with my first DC and am going to do the same with my baby who is now 11 months old. If you always offer a pudding then some children will tend to fill up on it and not eat the main course. I did offer my DC sweet stuff but only occasionally and as a snack, not after a main meal. We always have fruit after lunch.

I know the current line of thinking is that food should not be seen as good or bad, but I don't agree with this. Rates of obesity are shocking because we have lost all sense of what constitutes a healthy meal, and that sweet stuff is a treat and shouldn't be seen as a staple food.

I wouldn’t offer the yoghurt as part of the main meal, I’d use it as a snack elsewere in the day, and she doesn’t need it every day. I’d use things like yoghurt and porridge as snacks or breakfast, baby rice has no nutritional value so I’d never use that, and I’d use fruit as the ‘pudding’ aspect in some meals, not all as the sugar isn’t necessary and is bad for her teeth. Don’t worry about her not liking things, she doesn’t need to yet, just keep cycling those things back round to her as her tastebuds are still developing and if there isn’t a battle she won’t remember not likening things so easily.

I always just put it on the plate/tray together
We have a suction plate with 4 sections so for example tonight it’s veg in one, pasta in another, berries in one and salmon in another so the dessert is part of the meal whether it’s eaten first , in the middle , last or all mixed up

Never did puddings as standard, you just create an issue for yourself if you do.

Mine had no sugar at all at that age, though.

@LucretiaBorgia - so you did do pudding every day then? As every day you offered fruit after lunch. Fruit is pudding.

I always topped up with a bit of yoghurt if they didn't eat a lot. Far too young to understand its a treat etc. I'd rather they went to bed full and not hungry at that age.

I'm in the pud camp. DS (10mo) gets whatever I planned to give him on his tray regardless of what he eats. I choose what, when and where. He decides if and how much. I'm lucky though - he generally eats pretty well which definitely takes the pressure off. Sometimes he doesn't and he'll just chow down on the banana and leave everything else. That's fine in the grand scheme of things. Some days he eats loads and doesn't want much milk. Other days he doesn't eat much and has quite a bit of milk. For yoghurt/pud I tend to preload a spoon and put a dollop on his tray - he's perfectly capable of eating it with his hands if he wants to. If he starts using the spoon I reload for him from the tray as I do want him to learn that skill. No idea if I'm doing it right though!

I'm in the no pud camp. Under 12 months breast milk/formula should still be forming the main part of the diet, and there's no need for babies to be given sugary foods.

As long as the pud is healthy it's fine. Don't stress about food you could give her problems if she picks upon it.

There is nothing wrong with a child filling up on fruit, seeing as it contains vitamins, fibre etc.
Filling up on a traditional pudding, let's say a sugar-laden rice pudding, is not a good lesson to learn around food.

This has raised an interesting point in my mind. DS 7.5 months and goes to nursery. They give them pudding every day. Sometimes it’s cake!

Should I be more specific about him not being offered any?

He very occasionally gets so natural yoghurt as part of a meal at home but never anything like what he gets at nursery.

As soon as they get to school, school lunches are pudding every day. It really annoys me. My kids weren't asking for cake after every meal until they started school!

All your careful prep is ruined, sadly. So frustrating.

I offer food. So I will offer new things, then things I know he likes. But that will be a mix of sweet and savoury. I normally offer spoon food before finger food just because I find it convenient.

@Phormiumjester

As soon as they get to school, school lunches are pudding every day. It really annoys me. My kids weren't asking for cake after every meal until they started school!

All your careful prep is ruined, sadly. So frustrating.

Don’t worry !!! It’s called ‘cake’ as it sounds really appealing but in both schools where I’ve had dc and had to get ingredients lists etc the ‘cake’ has been low sugar and packed with things like carrot, courgette or beetroot ! They don’t even taste like cake it’s not sweet at all

Also it’s usually only a tiny square !

@Nottsure

Also it’s usually only a tiny square !

So what's the point of it? Creating a pudding habit.

I have no idea as to the reasoning behind it

I guess it could be as it might be the only proper meal some children get each day so they try to use the budget to include a healthy dessert too. They offer fruit or yogurt as well each day

'Pudding' if there is one gets served with dinner here. I'm really passionate about healthy attitudes to food after the issues my family have with it. That stops an association forming that sweet stuff comes second, and that everything must be eaten to 'earn' pudding. Food is fuel. It gives us different benefits depending on what we eat but no one food is 'good' or 'bad' here either.

I go by the logic that they can choose to eat what they want, I just give them the quantities and variety. Children are meant to be able to self regulate with food better than we can. We don't encourage DD to eat, comment when she does or doesn't. It's just here is dinner, let's eat and chat. And when everyone is finished we get down. If she doesn't want to try something that's fine, I always make sure there is something on her plate that she likes. Sure sometimes for dinner all she eats is peas, but that's a snapshot of one meal, not what she eats in a day or a week.

I really like Gentle Eating by Sarah Ockwell Smith as a book for forming healthy eating habits.

It's both amazing and scary how early children learn about associations and conditioning with food.

No way would I withhold on basis of behaviour, they wouldn’t get it. Mine is 15months and wouldn’t get it, remember the part of the brain that fully understands consequences isn’t fully developed until you’re 24 to put it into context? In your specific scenario I would just let it go, she’s literally only been eating for 3 months. My focus was on enjoying eating as a social occasion. Making eye contact, talking, ate what we ate at the same time. I didn’t worry about what went in until after 1yo.

We had guidance from dietitian because of CMPA and the only thing she said was to make sure calories (so lots of yogurt is good) and attempt allergens before nursery start, peanut, shellfish, sesame etc.

She’s far too young to realise that not finishing her dinner means no pudding. I see nothing wrong with offering her a healthy pud- natural/greek yogurt and/or banana or some other fruit. In fact sometimes with my grandson I offer some of the pudding first if he fusses over the main and sometimes that seems to kickstart his appetite for his main.

Lots of different opinions: offer it, don’t offer it, keep it with the other food, keep it separate, don’t do it every day, don’t withhold it. Complicated issue hey!

Nearly everyone has said dont use it as a reward/punishment for eating dinner though 🤷‍♀️

I don’t use it as either of those. Just wanted some advice if giving it will prevent her from trying new things because she loves Greek yog and will eat it over anything else, or is giving it ok. I simply don’t want a baby that only eats a few things and currently we are kind of in that area, so just don’t want to make it any worse for us. She hasn’t taking to weaning amazingly, so it’s not always as easy or as black and white as offer it, don’t offer it etc.