My DD keeps getting really distressed about climate change

[Somemoremilkplease]

Sorry I put this in chat as well but I think it may actually be better placed here
My dd is 15 (nearly 16) and has been really worried about climate change for a while. She gets really upset about it and cries a lot. She is just about to do her GCSEs and afterwards she is going to do a catering course- she wants to be a pastry chef and this is what she has wanted to do since she was quite young. She cries and says that people won’t be able to eat cakes and things like that in 20 years due to climate change and that chocolate will become extinct so there is no point in her doing all the training. I try and reassure her that she is an only child and that we don’t fly or have a car and we have reduced our meat intake so we are keeping our carbon footprint down as much as we can but she just gets really upset. She wasn’t well last week so had a bath and then got really upset about using water and said that she should’ve had a shower as it would’ve used less. I don’t really know what I can do to help reassure her. She doesn’t have a smart phone or any social media so she isn’t spending hours googling things on her phone. She reads these science magazines in the school library that talk a lot about climate change so I think that is where her information comes from. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas about how I could help her cope with how she’s feeling.

Why does she have no phone? Does she socialise a lot with other kids? Does she do extra curricular activity? Sounds like she needs someone professional to talk to and other activities in her life.

Is she very isolated?
Not having a phone or internet access these days means her friendships may be quite limited.

Does she have other interests? Social groups or sports?

It sounds quite like how very isolated people can become fixated on certain things.

Perhaps a chat about anxiety and ways to tackle those feelings, rather than a chat about climate change itself.

Has she got anxiety at all? Just wondering as being worried is normal but frequently crying etc is excessive in my eyes. Wondering if the root cause of her worries are compounded by suffering from it.

@bonfireheart Thank you for your reply. She has a phone but it's just not a smart phone- I didn't want her spending hours in front of a screen and me not being able to see what she searches for. She has friends and does things like sleepovers fairly regularly and shopping trips with them. She goes to sea cadets and also does tap and ballet so I think she is busy enough in general- I was starting to wonder too if we may need professional help

@Tee20x She is quite an anxious girl. She gets very upset easily. She wasn't really that anxious about covid which really surprised me. She was quite relaxed during the lockdowns and coped well with being away from school. One of her friends lives two doors down from us so they used to sit in the street and talk and go for walks so I don't think she felt too lonely. The climate change worries started in 2019

It's understandable that she worries about this. Might she want to get involved in activism? I know XR do a lot of stuff around climate grief. That's not for me personally, but some people get something out of it.

I get really worried about climate change too but prefer to work locally as the problem of climate change on a global scale is overwhelming. I also remind myself that I have another project on the go - having fun during my one life and looking after my family. This charity transitionnetwork.org/resources-essential-guide-transition/ do some really nice local work. In our area for example we've made a community orchard, edible garden, set up solar schools project and done some rewinding, reintroducing doormice. It feels good as you can see a project through to completion and notice the difference locally.
I really feel for you and your DD.

I don’t think her feelings are excessive to be honest. It is natural to be anxious. However, hopelessness gets nobody anywhere. The best antidote to anxiety is action. Are there youth climate action groups she can get involved with? Encourage her to engage with organisations, public figures, news stories etc that advocate for optimism and action.

I went through a similar phase when I was a teenager.

I would encourage her to read these articles to help her gain a more balanced perspective on climate change. I would also encourage her to learn more about economics and introduce her to the concept of QUALYs. If she is good at maths then you can get her to do a few probabilistic fermi estimates e.g. ask her to estimate how many car trips it would take to cause one extra death from climate change and how much it would cost to take the bus instead and compare her answer with the amount of money needed to save a life using malaria nets.

astralcodexten.substack.com/p/please-dont-give-up-on-having-kids

www.lesswrong.com/posts/NuHtXhnMiAopFcpXo/rationality-and-climate-change

www.lesswrong.com/posts/9qgQWEauLGuPwuYPh/potential-impacts-of-climate-change

I was being fed a lot of scare stories about climate change etc when I was 15

Every subject at school seemed to cover it

I'm now 45. None of the worst case scenarios we were threatened with have arrived. I remember my parents trying to tell me not to worry though so I get that it's complicated.

Also, I think in the 70s the fear was an ice age? My dad was actually able to show me a documentary he had recorded on a beta max. When I saw it, I realised it was humans panicking and that helped.

We have this with our DD (17). He anxiety manifests itself in massive breakdowns and uncontrollable crying, at home or at school. Her geography syllabus didn't help, there were times when she couldn't carry on with her lessons. Her school referred her and she's had 6 months of weekly counselling, I was not involved but it has made a difference. She's much more aware of the anxiety and the triggers and how to defuse the breakdown. So I would say try to get help for the anxiety, you personally trying to reassure is possibly not really going to do much difference.