Best age gap between child 1 and 2?

[purplehairlady]

What have you found to be the best age gap (or what would be your preferred age gap) and why?

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

We have 20 months.

The pros...
DD1 was too young to get jealous.
Got the sleepless nights, nappies, etcout of the way in one go
Similar stage of childhood, making activities etc easier
They are genuinely friends

Cons
I didn't sleep for a few years
Being pregnant with a toddler (morning sickness etc).
The younger one doesn't like being treated differently to the elder one.

Honestly, its luck of the draw though. I've had friends with a similar gap find it really hard.

DD2 turning 3 was our watershed in wanting a third though. We were on the fence, but decided having a baby when the other two were at school was too big for us. Others like that gap.

20 months here too and I agree with everything you said!

My oldest two are 4 (nearly 5) and 6 now and the very best of friends, so I look back at the horror of the first year and am glad we did it.

I got pregnant with our third child when my second had just turned two. She was a bit early so there are 2 years and 8 months between them and about 4.5 years between the youngest and the oldest.

The 4.5 year gap was a worry to me, I thought it would be too big but actually it's fine. The fact that none of them were at school for a while was a bit of a trial but ultimately they are a little gang and the gaps have worked well.

We planned 3 years due to childcare costs and it's worked out well. They get along well and my eldest was old enough to know what was going on when his brother was born. I think if childcare was cheaper maybe we would have had a smaller gap.

We have 10 months between our eldest two and it was hard work but they were like a little team. Number three arrived 2 years after number 2 and it helped to break up the closeness a little, as did the oldest starting nursery. Pros were that we did all the nappies, buggies, car seats at one time. Cons were that it was extremely hard having three teeny kids at the same time. Now they’re a bit older, they all have similar interests and it’s easier when finding days out and holidays to interest them all.

I will add that due to both working shifts we have had to pay very little for childcare, which is handy as three lots would have crippled us financially

15 month gap here and its been awful! But mine are still young... I'm hoping short term pain for long term gain. Must admit with my eldest now 2.5 and all my NCT mum friends pregnant with their second I am super pleased I got it out the way, my youngest is 15 months. Its been the hard 3 years of my life but I'm hoping I'll reap the rewards later x

We have a few gaps, 5yr, 16.5mth, almost 3yr & 6yr. I liked the small gap, the 3yr was fine but we had twins with 3 older so exhausting. The big gap with current baby is nice, the big ones adore her and are helpful. We had a lot of jealousy between 1st & 2nd, eldest was an only grandchild on both sides for 5 years too so struggled to adjust in the early months.

3-4 years
Older one is fairly independent, don't have 2 in nappies, double buggy, two cots etc.
Older one can understand what is going on more, plus you'll probably know a few friends with babies so they have a slight idea what a baby is. Older one is at preschool so you have some time alone with the baby, and they probably have funded hours which is handy on maternity leave!

Mine have this age gap. Younger one is nearly 2 and they are so cute together. Close enough in age to share a bedroom, the older one likes to boss her around and they play together.

How much do you like babies? I would not have wanted to go back to the beginning once dd1 was out of nappies / not sleeping in the day etc, I think I would have really resented dd2. We've got a 2y gap and it worked well for us. But loads of people like the eldest being more independent. And a small gap would be a complete nightmare if they had opposite personalities!

I will have a 2.5 year age gap in the next few weeks! I think it's going to be challenging because of DS personality. Not toilet trained yet, speech and language delayed and despite being very physical is absolutely not trustworthy outside of a pram unless you are only focusing on him. Plus sleep is still bad. My point being I really think challenges are based on the older child's personality. My mum had 18 months between my sister and me and said she found it really easy because I was so easy, but has commented it's going to be a challenge for me!

I like 3 years which I love and was manageable- but Iogicallu I will say it’s probably better to have them closer together and have a few years of physical hell and then reap the benefits of same actives etc. I just couldn’t have done it, either financially or mentally