6-7 night wake ups?!

[charcb]

I’m exhausted! Baby wakes up so much - id say he’s up 6-7 times a night and I’m so tired. He’s soon to be 8 months so thinking this is 8 month regression behaviour but can’t stop thinking that our nurse to sleep situation isn’t helping either. He’s combi fed. We bedshare as it’s so much easier with so many wake ups but I also sense the closeness is an issue maybe. I’m not sure what to do. Should we sleep train and do cry it out? Should I do more formula during the day? Put him in his own crib no matter what? Reduce night feeds by some minutes each night? Stop nurse to sleep? Wait it out a bit to overcome the thick of the regression?! It’s getting quite ridiculous and I’m not sure what to do anymore.

I don't have any specific advice for your situation as my baby is younger, but this sounds really really tough. If you're a working mum I am assuming you're in the territory of returning to work in not too distant future, in which case I imagine you will want to try to get into a routine that works better for you.

I read the book "Precious Little Sleep" and found it really helpful. It has some gentle, and some not so gentle, sleep training methods. Which method works will depend on your baby and on yourselves as parents, but I thought it was a really good, supportive group that didn't demonise the less gentle options (we thankfully didn't have to use these - so far!)

• supportive book, not group (though I believe there's a Facebook group)

Our DS was like this and it almost broke me, so I feel for you. As the PP said I was close to going back to work and panicking. The sleep deprivation sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral too so I really do think it's worth tackling it now as I think it can have a really adverse effect on parents' mental health.

The only solution we found was to do controlled crying, but I know it's not for everyone. We did it with both our kids and in neither case was it too painful and they both sleep well now, only waking when they'll ill or have had a bad dream, in which case (obviously!) we go to them.

I sort of think when you have this many wake-ups at that age the baby clearly doesn't know how to go back to sleep on their own after a sleep cycle and that's something they need to learn- for their own good and yours.

We did try some of the "gentler" techniques but found they only led to lots of tears and no sleep for anyone. Others have had success with them though- I think you just have to find whatever works for your kid.

Good luck, whatever you do!

PS I do not mean we did cry it out- that's different from controlled crying where you check on them and reassure them regularly that you're outside the room and haven't abandoned them

PPS Oh my God, sorry for spamming you, but I just re-read your post and saw you're feeding to sleep: in that case, I wouldn't advocate CC as I think going from that to being left alone in the cot is too tough. We phased out the night feeds at 9 months, and we did that by sending in my DP who cuddled him back to sleep for a few nights. Once he was used to having no milk at night, we did the CC. (That was a few weeks later, once we'd ascertained that despite cutting the wake ups he was STILL waking about three times a night just because...)

At that age I’d wait it out. Is the baby teething? DD was a fucking NIGHTMARE generally and at 8-9 months (a) got worse and (b) got molars – she was on a mission to get all her teeth. At 11 months she started doing longer stretches and I’d get a full evening, then she’d come into bed around midnight. It gradually stretched and she was doing big long stretches with 2-3 wake-ups, still fed to sleep and at night. Dad started doing cuddly bedtimes alternating nights with me doing feed to sleep bedtimes around age 1, and started taking the first wake up so it was boob-free. She slept through spontaneously at 17 months despite being fed to sleep and fed at wake ups.

It all depends on the effect it’s having on you! I just went to bed early, and wasn’t back at work til she was one - and then WFH so didn’t have to manage a commute or a stressy morning or dress smartly – and learned to feed lying down. Tbh I’m more tired now she sleeps through at 3 but is more on the go in the daytime!

He's probably on 3 'meals' of solids as well at this stage. I found that giving the main 'dinner' meal in the middle of the day worked better than giving it in the evening time sleepwise.
What happens at 'bedtime'. Does he just sleep downstairs until you go to bed yourself? Or does he go into his crib and then end up in your bed?
You could switch to just formula at night to stop the nursing to sleep. It's not the milk he wants it's the sucking habit.

Thanks mum’s. I did read your comments back when posted - luckily his night wakings have reduced to 3 a night now which is more manageable! Thanks a lot.