Have I messed up weaning?

[LaMadrilena]

DD is just over 8m. I had all these great plans to do baby-led weaning and make her interesting meals, but it just hasn't happened. DH and I work full time, and eat late (Spain), so DD is at nursery for lunch and in bed by the time we have supper.

At nursery they give her purée for lunch, and mushed fruit mid-afternoon. We've been doing her veg+chicken purée at the weekend, but the last month or so she's been ill and not interested.

The times I've given her finger food to try, she's either played with it (I know that's fine at the start of blw), or tried it and gagged. DH panics and says she's too small and should only have mush.

I just feel like my child's nutrition is out of my hands, and it's starting to really depress me. I wanted to do this properly, but I've been useless. I need to stop and take stock and make a plan, but there's just no time, or I'm exhausted from being ill/night feeds/work.

Any advice? Am I too late to get her eating well?

Don't worry, you haven't messed up anything and you're not useless! I'm no expert but about to start weaning, and I have bought Charlotte Stirling-reeds book about it. She has a mixed puree and blw approach, and what you might find the most useful is she has a day by day plan on getting started. Even though you've already started, you might find the approach useful and less to think about for you when you're very busy!

I mostly just wanted to reply as I can see you're being hard on yourself, but you are doing great!

You haven't messed it up! Your baby is being fed and learning new flavours and 8mo is still tiny. If you want to start adding some finger food do that - if they don't eat it that's fine, just keep offering. The principle that I always like with BLW is the idea that I decide What, Where and When. Baby decides If and How Much. Some days DS eats a huge balanced meal and other days he picks out the bread and the strawberries and leaves everything else. I have to remind myself that he decides how If and How Much and that's OK!

You don't have to overthink it either - you could spend ages sticking to a meal plan but it's not practical. I find that just chucking a bit of our dinner pre-salt in a tub in the fridge each night gives enough for the next day, or is a starting point at least.

I used to think this as well and I found weaning DS very stressful and it took the enjoyment out of feeding him. I used to panic when he gagged on anything so he often didn't get any finger foods, mostly purees.

Remember that from 6 months (or whenever you started weaning) until roughly a year it's only exploration at this stage. Trying different flavours and textures. They will still get majority of their nutrition from milk.

I noticed from about 11 months DS's skills with finger food really improved massively in a short space of time that I became comfortable to offer him things like steamed veg sticks, fruit, sandwiches, etc. He had mostly the same types of purees when he was younger but he still loves exploring all the different foods now, is very adventurous food wise and very much always wants what we've got.

Hang in there, it will be fine!

Try not to worry. Not all babies like finger food anyway, it was all my youngest would eat but my eldest far preferred puree for quite a while. To get her used to it try things like giving her a spoon fed breakfast if that’s what she’s used to but then a finger of toast while you finish up your meal. Many people end up doing a combination type of weaning anyway. I found that easier, knowing they’re definitely getting something into them but lots to play with and try also, like gumming a cucumber stick or a bit of banana.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I feel a bit more encouraged!
We tried DD on some new dishes at the weekend, and... it was a disaster!

Saturday - very simple Bolognese. She wasn't interested.

Sunday - She happily squished some broccoli florets in her fists, and may even have swallowed the odd little bud. Then she she had a go on a soft-boiled carrot stick, gagged on a bit, and vomited all over her high chair. We moved her to her play mat while we cleaned up, and she vomited there too.

Last night she had a sore tummy which is really unusual for her, no idea whether it could be related to the carrot-chomping. I doubt it, but DH has planted the doubt

Anyway, we'll keep trying. I need to work on timing - she still demands breast very frequently so there isn't much of a window where she's hungry but not yet desperate for milk (hence the vomiting I suppose - she was already full).

Roll on next weekend!

Hi OP we work full time and had grand visions of weaning too 😂 luckily DS’s nursery is happy to give him finger food which helps.

Some advice though, the gagging stage really doesn’t last very long if you stick with it. I think after about a month he learnt about what would and wouldn’t make him gag and we learnt what works for him too.

FYI on the carrot I could never get cooked carrot to be the right consistency for DS to eat. However grated carrot works really well! He just shovels it in.