Being the child of “successful” parents

[PinguPingu12]

Long time lurker with a NC.

This is a question for those whose parents had successful careers and maybe were also a bit absent when they were growing up. For the purposes of this thread I’m defining “successful” as being having careers which involve quite a lot of international travel and/or a lot of responsibility.

DH and I have got a 14 month old DD and have both been just meandering along in careers the last couple of years. I work part time at the moment but intend to go up to full time, and would like to progress in my career (civil service) to senior grades within the next 5 or so years. Out of the blue my DH has been recently approached about a job which would potentially be a huge pay increase but lots of international travel (like one week a month). If it’s relevant we’d thought about ttc again soon.

I’m completely supportive of this new opportunity for him. But I am now thinking about the potential impact on my DD (and any future DC) were we both to chase being “successful” and therefore couldn't always be around and would have significant other priorities. My own mum gave up her career when I was born and I don’t know anyone around me who has two parents who were both career focussed - one (usually the mum) has always taken a step back. I value my career a lot and would prefer not to become a SAHM.

So my question is, did anyone out there have both parents who were career-focussed like this, and how did it impact or affect your life growing up? Did you resent them for not always being around? Or am I overthinking this and putting the cart before the horse?

DH and I have successfulish careers but we have really try to balance the children around them. My work is moderately well paid €80K ish but it has significant holiday entitlement 15 week so considering that it is well paid. DH worked for himself for 10 years when the kids were little so he earned much more but he was also the flexible one who was on call for illness and impromptu snow days and also parenting courses for our youngest child who has AN. His office was home based which helped a lot.

I think you have to make choices that consider the best outcomes for everyone in the family when opportunities arise. Recently DH was offered a position that paid significantly more than his current position but added 10 hours of commute weekly. He refused it because of the impact it would likely have on family life.

There are necessary compromises to make and as an add on it should not always be women making them.