Child's birthday - invite the whole class or carry on doing our usual thing

[Jellybeans20]

My DC is invited to a child's birthday from an elite kindergarten. The birthday party is on my DC's birthday. We are having a friends party the following week. School year has just started and this child isn't one my DC mentions. DC says the whole class is invited.
I'm not sure whether I should cherry pick for DC's birthday the following week or whether I'm expected to invite the whole class.
I'm not sure whether we should go to this birthday on DC's birthday or whether we should do what we usually do, which is a day of celebration for DC with some close people.
I do feel like we should go to the birthday but am confused about everything else. Also, what do you gift? What's the price range?
What would you do?

Does your child want to go to the class party on their birthday? Or would they rather do something else with you? That’s your answer.
In reception, parties are often whole class parties as it helps the children get to know each other. From year 1 it tends to be more a case of picking a few friends.
As for spend on presents, spend what you can afford. I spend £15 but people spend less and that’s fine too

Spend what you think is reasonable. You can have a low key party with nice cupcakes, a movie and fun games, also drinks for the kids and adults too. Maybe set up a art and craft table as well. You can even have a chocolate cake in addition and party bags with a cheap entertainer of some sort. Or you can hire a hall, find a bouncy castle and have a semi formal themed party instead of a home one.

I personally wouldn't invite whole class at that age but it's what you think will work best. If you are not inviting whole class I'd say do less than half so it doesn't leave kids feeling left out.

Other child's party ask dc could be a fun thing to do but if he's not bothered decline.

Gifts I spend around £7 but id say 5-,15 is reasonable

Am replying because I want to hear more about the elite kindergarten. Do you mean a private one ?

I spend up to a tenner on a gift.

Does your child want to attend the party ? It's ok to decline if not.

Ask your child

Do they want to go to another friends party on their birthday

Or do something with you

I’m confused why you’ve a) felt the need to use the world elite .. why does it matter in this context? Children at every kinda school have birthday parties. And b) kindergarten.. are you in the UK? You say the school year has just started, are you in Australia? Or do you mean this term?

My DD is in reception & we’ve had parties practically every weekend. They’ve all been whole class invites. I’m told that’s quite normal & as they get older, it becomes slimmed down to their actual friends! Price wise, I aim for £5-10 .. £8-10 if I know it’s one of DDs mates & a bit less if it’s not someone she ever mentions! I tend to buy little Lego sets, they are about £8-ish and they do girly ones and boyish ones..

DSGR Thank you. Child wants to go to the party so we will go. Child also wants to invite everyone now. Whilst I support this, my partner is anxious about this happening.....

languagelover96 thank you for replying. thank you these are all great suggestions. would be good if birthday was somewhere in the middle of the year so that we could try to spend a similar amount to all the other parents. don't want to overdo or under do it. For the sake of the child's experience at school, it would be good to know how much parents spend at a private school.

autienonaughty thank you. my initial point of view was that kids just invite a few friends but it looks like it would be a problem if we didnt do a whole school party in such close proximity to this other party. the whole school child has now become a friend after extending the invite. im in Australia and school year has just started so Id probably end up leaving a friend out if i relied purely on feedback from DC. I wnated to take DC interstate for birthday but we will go to this birthday as thats what DC wants to do.

cherryonthecakes thank you for repling. yes i do mean private. In Australia we mainly use the term Independent school these days but elite and private get used interchangeably. These schools tend to have their own ways of doing things. Child wants to attend so we are going.

blondeshavemorefun thanks for replying. child has chosen the party which could end up being the start of a good friendship or the opposite. either way, it will reveal a lot about the class and how they interact etc.

zolla thank you for your response and all the suggestions. the word elite is relevant to me. sorry if it has offended you. whilst every school has birthdays, sometimes there are particular conventions in certain types of schools, which is a fact. religious, public and private schools have their own way of doing things and you don't want to create conflict and contention. for example, I have always used $50 as the expected cost for kids gifts. if they are closer, perhaps $100 or more. one of the most expensive schools in the state may have a different expectation and I wouldn't want DC to turn up with the cheapest or most expensive gift. if someone has experience at such a school and share, it will be useful. similarly, a playcentre might be acceptable in general for a party. however, i wonder if elite schools would go all out organising favours such as a barbie or basketball per kid. i wonder if they would have jazzed up cake displays with balloon garlands.
I am in Australia so the school year has just started. This is one of the most expensive schools in the country.