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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

6 year old has a boyfriend

37 replies

ThedaBara · 02/02/2022 22:03

My 6 year old DD has been telling me that one of the boys in her class is her boyfriend. I asked her what she meant and she said that they have decided to get married when they grow up. Ok, fair enough, very cute. It's been about 2 months. Today she told me that she had a secret and I wasn't to tell her teacher it turns out she kissed him on the cheek today because she loves him and couldn't help herself.
I think need to talk to her about her feelings and impulsiveness and looking after herself, but I have no idea where to start! Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

EmmaGrundyForPM · 03/02/2022 03:37

what on earth are cooties?

Nevth · 03/02/2022 03:46

I had a boyfriend from about age 8-12. He made me a ring in wood work class (not to propose but as a gift) and the most we ever did was hold hands. He's now married with three kids in the village where we grew up, and me and my partner live halfway across the world with no plans to settle down. We still send birthday wishes and exchange the odd message on IG. To be honest it set me a high bar for future relationships!

Pixxie7 · 03/02/2022 05:14

I think you are over thinking this, I think you are at risk of making this into an unnecessary drama.

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6 year olds Families General parenting

whenwillthemadnessend · 03/02/2022 12:41

Better than my experience. When dd was in reception she received a letter asking her when she would have sec with a boy in her class

The parents were from a scandi country and I can assume very liberal about sex however I kept a very close eye!

whenwillthemadnessend · 03/02/2022 12:42

Sorry sex.

KilmordenCastle · 03/02/2022 12:48

My 6yo dd got married to a boy in her class the other day. I was all "aw that's nice sweetheart" until she told me she kissed him on the lips at the "ceremony" 😂😂

I told her no more kissing her friends, especially on the lips. I think I used covid as an excuse

leafcuttingwhale · 03/02/2022 12:51

I used to chase the boys around the playground for a kiss at that age - I think the 'kiss chase' game was fairly common, ' lets play kiss-chase' so you know, we had consent and everything sorted . The boy I liked most moved to Australia and I was gutted!

Xmasbaby11 · 03/02/2022 12:52

My dd is 8 and has a 9yo boyf! They just act as friends apart from drawing hearts in xmas cards etc. Occasionally she mentions they'll get married one day. I'm expecting it to fizzle out but it's been a couple of years!

I would draw the line at kissing!

BiBabbles · 03/02/2022 13:55

What was useful with mine was getting them to talk about the feelings - what love means to them, different types of love and how they feel love physically.

This has more been helpful at that age for keeping the conversations going, but also helped add on as they got older even with friends about spending more energy on those who made them feel good and less on those who made them feel rubbish. Helping them to notice how it feels good and bad in their body can help as sometimes when the emotions are big that it can be hard to tell, especially for kids who don't have much experience with them.

With the 'can't help it' part, gently putting in how it can feel that way, but it's still important to ask & sometimes even when we love sometimes we don't always feel like doing certain things. This can later build on to just because someone likes doing certain things with you doesn't mean they like you which can be a hard thing for kids to grasp when it happens to them, but important.

Original poster

ThedaBara · 03/02/2022 23:14

@biBabbles that is great advice, thank you!

I am possibly turning it into more of a drama than it needs to be. Just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing!
DH by the way has declared that every boy, up to and including prince George is not good enough for her, so at least I'm the level headed one in the house

OP posts:

unsalted · 04/02/2022 23:11

Make sure she gets a prenup, or he may be entitled to half her wendy house if they split.

Joking aside, I see this a lot among little kids and it'll probably fizzle out very soon. I agree with other posters that I just wouldn't encourage it and would say about kissing is for family etc.

blyn72 · 06/02/2022 11:10

@Xmasbaby11

I would draw the line at kissing!

It depends what you mean by kissing. I doubt they do a full on snog with tongues, it's probably just a quick peck.

I can remember having a boyfriend when i was a young child, two actually (not at the same time); one I just played with (he is still a friend and we are in our seventies), with the other one we held hands and giggled a lot. Something else I remember when I was maybe eight years old is a boy in my class writing me a note which said: "I love you, do you love me? I love your face, do you love my face?". I can't remember if I replied.

It's all quite normal.

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