Dealing with the school

[Momof03]

As a mom how do you make sure your child is getting what they need from the school district they attend?

I don't like conforntation and I can get emotional easily so that's why I didn't call out the SD so far and I'm also wondering if it's too late to do so.

My 4yo does have speech issues, some words are still hard to understand and sometimes he will repeat you, me or the first part of a word before saying the second part of the word ex: ro ro ro bot.

Today I was supposed to have a meeting about my son needing an IEP (which I thought it was for him to be evaluated for an IEP) either way, I wasn't able to make that since my son had an appointment. I called the person and informed them that I won't be able to make it and it will need to to be rescheduled. Since I didn't get back to them right away, the person assumed that I was still going to show up. My son's teacher called (left a voice-mail) wanting to know if I was showing up and clarified that it was a meeting about his IEP and since I didn't get back to the person about rescheduling, they were waiting for me.

This isn't the first issue I've had with the SD..

1st issues was someone called me in October and was basically saying since he's special needs (he isn't medically considered special needs and I apologize to any special needs mom if I worded that wrong) he won't be able to attend the SD. They didn't clarify so I assumed as soon as his speech was evaluated that I'd have to switch him to Hudson. Where he's currently attending is full day which I know he'd benefit more from than half days. The lady even said to me.. wouldn't it be better for him to attend five half days over four full days, which no it wouldn't of been because half days is less hours.

2nd issue was that I received a phone call from a different person who said they called before and sent an email about needing my signature for consent for my son to be evaluated, I never called back because I signed a lot of papers at his school the following day. But one of the papers I signed was one stating that the SD sent an email on said day, that they also called and sent another email on another day and called one more time on another day which that is the one I did receive. But they never sent an email the first time nor the second time and didn't call the second time. Now since this was an email needing my signature, wouldn't you think they would of called that day they sent the email to let me know that they sent an email needing my signature for consent. But also if they needed my consent wouldn't it of been better for me to come in and sign the paper or have the paper dropped off at my son's school or sent home with him to be signed.

You aren't in the UK so some processes may be a little different to those I'm used to. However, I'm struggling to see what you need 'confrontation' or 'calling them out' for. The issue over the email is unclear and there was a mix up over the meeting.
In a school, a child may be classed as having SEN, special educational needs, this is not necessarily anything at all medical, so will often not be picked up until children start school.
I would suggest you reschedule the meeting and figure out what their concerns are, what their plan is to help him and what additional support they are requesting, so you know exactly what the situation is in school.

What @Imsittinginthekitchensink said.

Please try not to be confrontational or call the school out. I'm imagining how it looks from their side - they say they've emailed and called and you haven't responded. Clearly there's some communication mix up there

You need to show that you want to engage with them. First you need a meeting with the school to talk about what they feel is going on with your child. What SEN are they talking about?

Remember that they have a broad experience of children of this age so there must be something that is ringing a bell for them.

Call them and ask to have a meeting. Do it from a collaborative perspective working together for your child.