16 year old rules.

[TiredTeenager]

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet and I'm not really a mom but I still live with mine so i hope you can all accept me lol.

Anyways, I have a mother and she is what I believe is overbearing, I'm 16 years old and had my birthday in July and that was when I was finally allowed to actually go out. I am allowed out only on weekends and have to be home by 6pm, a calamity ensued one day after school that instead of instantly walking back home I went mcdonalds with my friends and arrived at 4pm not 5 and then wasnt allowed out for that weekend. I'm not allowed to talk to boys and she checks if I am on my phone and houseparties are a big no.

I feel quite left out amongst my peers and I just wanted to know if my friends parents are really relaxed or mine is strict. She said it's because my older sister never went out and so I should do the same but I feel a bit like a hermit stuck in my room because nobody wants to go out with me if I just have to leave 2 hours later.

You have to be home by 6 at the weekend? Wow, I thought I was pretty strict but mine were allowed out until 10 at that age or later if it was something specific they were doing. What is it your mum is worried about? Have you asked her?

I have two 16 year olds.

They are allowed out in the week if home at a reasonable time - 10pm usually as I want to make sure they are home and I lock up etc go to bed

They can do whatever after school, sometime they meet friends or go to town/Macdonald’s or the gym - or friends houses for tea. I usually get a quick text saying they are home for tea or need a lift later or getting the bus.

Weekends - DS usually plays football or watches football - sometimes they go for burgers or a gaming place.

DD works all day Saturday and then has an evening job, gets the bus at 10 and home for 10:45 - I have collected her when the weathers been bad.

They’ve been to parties - last day of school was on the beach drinking - two schools all year 11’s no one was hurt or badly drunk.

They’ve done prom and after prom.

They’re are no bother really - as long as they text to let me know I’m fine with them being out and about.

My golden rule when mine were 13 (now 18 and 19) was that they had to let me know where they were if they were going to be late. On top of that in the week they should be home within 2 hours of finishing school in order to get homework and music practice done unless it had been pre agreed. At 16 at the weekends they needed to let me know where they were going/what time they would be home/how they were getting home and any changes to their plans. My side of the bargain was that adults also let them know if they were going to be out and kept enough money for a cab in the hall so they could always jump in one if they needed it.

Is your mother very anxious? Do you live somewhere unsafe Are there cultural reasons why she is very over protective? The 6pm curfew at the weekends sounds more like what I would give to an 11 year old.

She's not anxious she doesn't mind what I do until 6 but it I've gotta be at home 6 on the dot. And I live in a very safe area, one of the safest in Birmingham and I do think it is cultural cause my cousins are allowed out late. I always am back on time and never have gotten in trouble, I thought it was a bit odd but after reading these replies I think something might be up with her.