Please tell me I’m not the only one…

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I have a 1 1/2 year old DS who I have two days off a week with and 99% of the time I cherish these days. Today is not one of those days.
I found out a local library does a story time session so I thought I’d take him along. He woke at 4.45am (in a great mood) for some unknown reason today so I thought he might be tired by the time we got there, but oh my…
To cut a long story short, repeated typical toddler behaviour occurred that I can usually deal with fairly successfully but I was just so tired that I wept silently throughout the whole thing as DS refused to engage in. I was stuck at the back so couldn’t leave without drawing more attention to myself.
After the session, I was taking some books out at the self-service machine, DS refused to put his coat on and the tears came again (both of ours) and a woman who was at the story time session offered to buy me a coffee and was just so kind. I declined as i just wanted to get out of there but I think I love her.
DS is sleeping soundly now. I’ve always struggled to nap (I did try when I put him down) so I’m just sitting here with massive swollen eyes praying that I’m not the only one who’s done this and failed at parenting.

Also, I have a DH who is normally great but slept in the spare room as I have a cold and am all bunged up and didn’t hear any of DS’s early morning antics.

Honestly I gave up trying to go out and do nice things when my son was younger. It just was too much hassle and I basically ended up paying for tantrums. It didn't work for us!

I'm pretty sure things changed around the 3.5/4yr mark (fairly soon after he dropped his day nap) and we could FINALLY start going out and doing things and have fun.

I promise you, you're not the only one. You're not failing at all.

Ha that age is the absolute worst! The only class we managed was baby gym as they were ok with the kids pretty much going feral. I would have been in tears to if I’d attempted story time. You’re doing just fine

In the nicest possible way, don't be silly - you haven't failed at parenting!

18 months is a terrible age, truly terrible. I've got three kids between 2 and 6 years old and it's been the worst age of all of them. They have weird sleep regressions, can't really communicate so get easily frustrated and aren't really interested in engaging in classes and the like.

Keep it simple, don't bother with classes and groups if it causes stress. My two year old hasn't been to a single one in her entire life and she's perfectly fine. Do walks in the park or wherever so there isn't time pressure and if it all goes a bit wrong you can just go home.

If you can't nap, neither can I, sit and have a nice coffee and watch tv instead. Just try to relax a bit.

Don't worry, I promise you are doing fine.

Same as previous poster. Quickly realised after a few attempts at activities that my little one was a bit of a nightmare with that kind of thing. A bit rubbish when you are trying to find things to entertain them. A few months have passed and he’s nearly 2, I’ve attempted them again and he’s been an angel. So I’d suggest just cutting yourself some slack :)

@Crimblecrumble1990

Same as previous poster. Quickly realised after a few attempts at activities that my little one was a bit of a nightmare with that kind of thing. A bit rubbish when you are trying to find things to entertain them. A few months have passed and he’s nearly 2, I’ve attempted them again and he’s been an angel. So I’d suggest just cutting yourself some slack :)

All three of mine have turned a corner when they turn 2. It gets easier OP.

Just like me - two days off a week with my 21 month old which I am usually v grateful for.. not today! Took him out with the dog to the park hard work dealing with them both when DS not in a great mood. Then went to swimming class he was fussy in the car and a pickle getting changed. So glad he is asleep now 😂😂 sending solidarity

I got asked to stop attending the library singing sessions until DS had "matured" a bit. In fairness, he had somehow led a gang of toddlers into the genealogy group to steal their biscuits. The previous week he'd emptied an entire bookshelf of DVDs while I frantically tried to put them back.

We stuck to more active sessions and trips to the playground after that. He absolutely loves the library now, just not at 18mo.

You need to adjust your expectations. Its absolutely not a failure if your one and a half year old doesn't engage. If you do want to try it again just think of it as a bonus if he listens or watches even if it's just for a minute or 2.

I got asked to stop attending the library singing sessions until DS had "matured" a bit. In fairness, he had somehow led a gang of toddlers into the genealogy group to steal their biscuits

Legend 😂

OP, if you cherish the time with him 99% of the time then I’d say you’re doing amazingly. 18 months is when my DD turned feral. She still rarely does as she’s asked now at 2.5 but is a bit less explosive.
I would never take her to any focused class, far too stressful. Choose play groups and soft plays instead, or trips to the park, they can run free and do their own thing that way. And you’re absolutely not failing, toddlers are just savages.

@Sausagesausagesausage

I got asked to stop attending the library singing sessions until DS had "matured" a bit. In fairness, he had somehow led a gang of toddlers into the genealogy group to steal their biscuits. The previous week he'd emptied an entire bookshelf of DVDs while I frantically tried to put them back.

We stuck to more active sessions and trips to the playground after that. He absolutely loves the library now, just not at 18mo.

This is hilarious, your DS clearly has excellent leadership skills!

You're not the only one - cut the both of you some slack, you both must have been exhausted.

I have an 18 month old and wouldn't bother taking him to a story time - he loves running around too much.

He does like a messy art group we go to but that's about it.

Find a nice park, let him run around and climb, save yourself some money, fresh air always does the both of us wonders.

Oh god you're definitely not the only one!

Have a cuppa and some biscuits while he's sleeping and be kind to yourself.

Tell DH you're having a takeaway for tea tonight and he's doing bedtime!

Oh it's such a hard age. I don't do any structured classes with mine really (23 months), only soft play/playgroup/baby gymnastics.

With my eldest it got gradually easier between age 2 and age 3 and she was reasonably civilised by 3.5.

Oh bless you. Best laid plans rarely work out at that age. We did things like that when mine were little, it’s really hit and miss I found. One time they’ll love it, next time you’ll be chasing them round the room or trying to shush them.

I’m sorry you found yourself sobbing, you’re likely very tired. The lady at the library sounds lovely.

"I think I love her" 🤣🤣 really made me laugh. Peoples kindness really goes a long way. I have had many days like this. You haven't failed, just a bad morning!

You're definitely not alone. LO was 16 months when I optimistically took her to brunch with another 2 mums and their LOs. It was a nightmare! She ended up screeching at the top of her lungs, and we left within 10 mins of arriving with everyone staring at us as we went. I completely understand it though as no one wants their brunch interrupted by a screaming toddler but could've done without the loud tutting and eye rolling as I was literally packing us up to leave (not the mums, they were lovely about it). I was in tears walking home.

LO was bored, tired and wanted to explore.

Couldn't face more meltdown at circle time play after that so I cancelled all structured classes apart from forest school as it's basically a toddler jolly in the woods anyway. Felt so relieved.

For now we just do drop in playgroups and walks when we're in the mood. She's perfectly happy day to day and I'm a lot less stressed out.

She's also an entirely different kid just 3 months later and have even entertained trying brunch again...but I'm parking that until I feel braver!

It sounds by reading other people's posts that there's swings and roundabouts to this whole journey and best thing we can do is deal with the kid in front of us at any given day. ....will have remember that myself on hard days!

You're doing great and you're definitely not alone!

Glad you were offered a coffee and some kindness in the moment, it makes all the difference.

WELL DONE FOR TRYING!

And also - lower your expectations. I know its hard to think we MUST be doing something with them all the time, but I am sure at this age just jumping in a muddy puddle is fun enough!

I have an 18 month old and we recently enrolled in baby ballet and DD is by far the youngest - all the other girls pay attention and my DD just largely runs around the room shrieking! But she has fun so thats all that matters.

I think of my 18mo a little bit like a puppy. He needs feeding and exercise and regular opportunity to do his toileting. He can be entertained with a book for about 3 minutes but then he starts chewing the pages and throwing them on the floor. He'd MUCH prefer a park, a ball, mud.

I wouldn't take a puppy to a library. ;-) Don't worry, get some sleep, maybe leave the classes until he's 2+. They do get a LOT more civilised, as PPs have said.

You sound sweet! And like everyone else has said, you’re doing grand! Toddlers are little wankers! In the most lovely adorable way!!

Er....don't worry, pretty sure we've all had many days like this. Have you just had the one? Wow!

I think most of my days were like this with DC betw 18-36m, I can't really remember, pretty much just blocked it all out a long time ago 😂

DD1 never tantrummed in public at 18m.

This might have been because it was the first lockdown and she was never 'in public'.

But she tantrummed in private and in public before then and after then.

And even before I had children, I always had a great respect for those coping with children in a meltdown. It's pretty obvious that bad parenting gives in to tantrums and stops them. You're doing it right. Still hard though

Baby gym classes where they can explore or join in activities at will, were the best thing for my “spirited” toddler. He would be trying to throw balls or hammering on the radiator, but at least he wasn’t supposed to be still and listening.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words. The day got much better - he was far lovelier after a nap and I calmed down after a cup of tea and some peace and quiet.
We often go to soft play type places or the park where he can burn energy off but I wanted to try something different. He usually cooperates with a music class we sometimes go to but even on his ‘non-conforming’ days he’s nothing like he was this morning (then again, we don’t normally wake at 4.30am). I’ll put it on hold for about a year, given everyone’s advice.
It’s such a relief to know it’s not just me. Sometimes I bloody love Mumsnet!

Sorry you’ve had a difficult day OP.
Glad I stumbled across this thread though… noted, do not take DS to any structured classes/activities. Stick to letting him run wild and feral until at least 2 👌🏻