FTM - breastfeeding

[sjxoxo]

I am 2.5 weeks in to being a FTM to our lovely baby boy. He has gained weight, lots of dirty & wet nappies. I’m at my wits end with breastfeeding!!!! Jesus Christ the pain is almost unbeatable. I use a breast shield as he latches quickly with it. We can feed without, but it’s agonising. He struggles to latch without it and when he does the pain is even worse!! Like a nipple piercing. I was in hospital for 5 days from his birth, with multiple midwives saying how great it all was going, saw him latch, all said everything’s fine. I’ve seen my GP, also said everything’s fine. I’ve tried ‘deep latch’ technuques, still kill me. He doesn’t seem to be able to get much boob in his mouth. Also yesterday we saw a lactation consultant who wants us to change position to an ‘upright’ one for him- so me sort of sitting slumped in a chair and him going ‘up’ my body rather than across. She also wants us to not use the nipple shield. I’ve tried this morning but I couldn’t go on. She doesn’t have any more immediate help than that. Tells me it should never hurt when done correctly. (There seems to be different narratives on this..)

My gut instinct is he pinches the nipple in his mouth. Every. Single. Suck. I think he is aggressive at feeding, and he chomps hard on anything in his mouth. I’m feeding him now in agony again. I’ve tried to latch him 17 times and no matter how we latch, it’s torture for me. When it’s so painful like this I just want to get him formula but i don’t want to give up or not solve this issue but it’s so so hard.

My nipples are surprisingly still attached to my body, and whilst very red and burny, I think are holding up well given the chomping they are getting every 2 hours.

I dread feeding him as it’s so painful. It makes me cry in the evenings when he cluster feeds & I am already tired so not in a good place to be tolerant. I really want to be able to enjoy the time with him but it’s agony. It stings, burns, pinches.

Can any of you lovely mn’s offer me any advice or reassurance.. I don’t think I can’t keep this up for long without solving the pain issue!! Hell. X

@KatieKat88

www.facebook.com/LMJinfantfeeding/ there are lots of great resources here about latching that may help and I think some videos? The Kellymom website is great too. I think for me it was painful to begin with but the latch also wasn't great so it was a combination of my nipples not being used to it and not quite getting the right positioning. If the shield helps, use it. Hydrogel patches off Amazon really helped when my nipples were broken and needed to heal. Can you see your local infant feeding team? Normal midwives/HVs/doctors aren't trained in breastfeeding and usually aren't as helpful.

Of course midwives are trained in breastfeeding

Of course midwives are trained in breastfeeding

It's fairly basic though. I know, I am one! Honestly I didn't realise how little I knew about BF until I had a lot of problems feeding my first baby and learned so much through personal experience. It's also really dependent on the individual midwife and how interested they are in BF. You'll get great advice and terrible advice.

@CeeceeBloomingdale

I also found this bit the most painful, by 3 or 4 weeks the toe curling pain subsided.

Me too

Also have you tried pinch and pop, it's basically where you grab your whole boob (not just nipple) with three fingers and squeeze it into a tube shape then slot it into your baby's mouth as deep as you can. It was the only way I could get a deep latch until around 4m when my baby got better at doing it herself.

Also, for some reason lots of people are against this, but I strongly recommend mixed feeding. I'd have given up if it wasn't for a couple of formula feeds a day. We weaned off the FF by around 6m and I'm still breastfeeding now at 18m.

@FelicityBob sorry should have said 'generally have very little training in breastfeeding' - they don't have to go beyond the basics and sometimes more experience is needed quite often results in poor advice/ jumping to advise to move to formula instead

Is there a boiled sweet you like but wouldn't mind not having in future?

The way the nervous system work means it's difficult for your brain to process pleasure and pain at the same time. So sucking a sweet while you feed should reduce the amount of pain you feel especially if you focus on the flavour. BUT if you use this technique for a couple of weeks you'll probably "go off" the sweets.

I found the flipple technique really helpful when I was learning to feed ds1.

It'd be unusual for you to have nipple thrush and no symptoms for DC - it looks like tiny white mushrooms/platelets in the mouth so you can check yourself (not right after a feed as the milk can look similar if left in the mouth).

I hope it gets more comfortable soon.

Hi lovelies, my first born is just five days old.

I had a quite a traumatic birth which included a blood transfusion due to heavy blood loss & plenty of IV through labour too.

When I gave birth, I was unconscious for around 9-10hrs & therefore my partner had to bottle feed her first thing as I had no colostrum [apparently it’s due to how bad the birth is???]

I’ve now experienced severe engorgement yet my milk just won’t come through despite me doing the compresses, showering & even pumping 🤦🏻‍♀️

Any advice for a FTM? 😭