Hectic evenings - am I missing a trick?

[TinyTeacher]

Hello wise mumsnetters.

Evenings at the moment are BONKERS sometimes. I wonder if I'm missing a trick? Or is this just a normal stage that will improve? Or is this just totally normal and it'll be like this for the next 15 years shudder

I have a 5 year old and twin one year olds. I work 3 days a week, DH has long hour (one job for 4 days a week, plus an extra job that he does that is very flexible on time so a lot of it can be done on his "day off" or after the kids are inbed).

Weekday evenings usually go something like this:
Everyone descends on the house just before 5pm. I have a little play with the 2 babies and warm up dinner (I almost always make it in advanceunless were planning on beans on toast or similar). Dinner at 5.15 till some time between 5.30 and 545 (eldest is a picky eater and very slow). Eldest usually wants to see afterwards so we give her half an hour while I play with babies. 6.15 DH does "homework" with DD - they recommend 10 minites of reading, 10 minutes of letter formation and 10 minutes of something else (number work or topic stuff, which is often quite fun). 6.45 we have 15 minutes of TV while kiddoes have some fruit/cheese. Then it's upstairs. Little two in the bath while eldest has 15 minutes to play. I usually do a spot oftidying up while DH does bathtime. Stories and bedtime end for twins takes me up to 8ish (they are tricky to settle at the moment). Then say goodnight to DD at about 8.15/8.30 (she likes to have a chat about her day).

Honestly, when we get downstairs at 8.30 I just want to collapse on the sofa! And DR always feels like a didn't get much time to play. We never have time to do a jigsaw with her or play a board game, or take her out on her bike. I don't read to her as much as I used to.

What do other people do? Is everyone this busy in the evening????

You do 30 mins of homework a night with a 5 year old?? I'd drop that to one or two at the most personally. I'm a teacher, my son is 6 and never has homework but has a reading age of 11.

I'm a working solo parent with a 6yo and a 1yo. I alternate Bath/shower days with them. We also have 2 extra curricular clubs 2 nights a week. You just manage it. Advance meal prep is key. Older one gets some screen time as I put younger one to bed. We have hot chocolate and reading time together.

I'm a bit confused by some parts that may be typos - "eldest wants to see afterwards so we give her half an hour"? "DR always feels like a didn't get much time to play"?

Everyone descends on the house at 5pm - where has the 5yo been before that, presumably finished school almost two hours earlier?

If you've got between 5-8pm, three hours, and need to fit in dinner for kids, some reading/homework, bit of playtime, baths, winding down for bed, and you're juggling a 5yo and two babies, that's a lot to cram in. School nights are about getting the basic necessities achieved; I doubt many parents of school age kids and babies/toddlers find spare time in the 5-8pm window! Bike rides, jigsaws, board games - either you find a twenty minute window to do a bit, or they're activities for the weekend.

Could you dinner a bit later so you've got focused play/homework time and then dinner/bath/bedtime roles straight into one?

Mine are 4&1 (preschooler rather than school age). We have dinner at 6pm, I normally collect from nursery at 5.15, the kids have TV time or playtime while I do dinner, pop a wash on etc, everyone helps tidy toys away before dinner. We're upstairs at 6.50ish and everyone is in bed for 7.30 (on a good day!).

Far too much homework!

I have a 5 year old in Yr 1 and we doing reading every night between 10 to 30 mins and that’s it. Spelling are done verbally at the dinner table every evening.

You don't have to do bathtime every night.

Well done to you. I have three dc who are 3,6,8 and our evenings on the 4 days we both work are manic and always have been. It’s hard to avoid when they get back later at 5/6 pm as there is just a lot to fit in before bedtime. I think you’re doing really well.

I think evenings just are hectic 🤷

Mine
330pm
arrive home from nursey run
Wash filthy clothes from nursery and lunch box
Entertain 4 yo and BF 5 mo as much as I can, make tea
430pm
Tea time
Eat, clean up, hang wet clothes so dry for next day, fold laundry from dryer
Make packed lunch for next day
Entertain 5yo, try and get 5mo to have last nap
6pm bath time, both kids
615om supper for 4yo, blow dry hair
630pm stories and songs for both
7pm 4yo asleep, 5mo down with me
He plays for a bit while take make up off, put load of washing on delay timer for the next day, pack nursery bag, get a cuppa and sit down to get 5mo to sleep for the night. He won't sleep anywhere but on me so ft 745 to 9pm that's me stuck.
9pm put him to bed, have a super fast shower, brush teeth, have a quick tidy round, actually talk to my husband for a bit and then fall into bed 10pm exhausted only to be woken up to 8 times a night.

It's madness but it's totally normal.

Sorry, there were a horrific number of typos in my post! My autocorrect changes things and I don't notice and then it ends up making no sense....

Ok, so sounds like a certain amount of hectic is unavoidable and will be with us for some time . Oh well.

Thank you for the helpful advice ladies. I think I will stick to nightly bathtime for the babies as it really does seem to help relax them (and they are pretty grubby as they get food in their hair!). But I might give my eldest the choice of bath time or drawing time on days when she hasn't had PE or anything.

Less homework seems to be a fairly obvious one! We've got a parents evening coming up this week and I might ask if they really expect us to do that much... It does seem like like lot to squeeze in. My eldest has Tea Club at school, where she basically had a lovely time playing with marble runs, Lego etc. She really loves it. We can't really get her home any earlier unfortunately.

I suppose there's just an awful lot to try and squeeze intothose 3 and a half hours! Then after the kids are finally in bed the house always seems to be a top and I've got to start my marking. God I'm looking forward to the holidays!!!

Can the dc eat elsewhere? I have simillar ages but the school age one has a school dinner and tea at afterschool club, and dd2 has seemingly 5 or 6 meals at nursery 😂 so only need to do a supper type thing rather than dinner at home

That homework is INSANE