I was rough with DS trying to get him changed..

[weliveinharmony]

..i feel awful, I was rough with him earlier although didn't hurt him, he was obsessing over putting a toy tractor and trailer together (which don't actually belong together so just constantly fall apart) whilst I was trying to get him changed, he was refusing to stand up or give me any part of his arm/foot so I could actually get the job done, I ended up flinging him over my leg and forcing his clothes on, then I shouted at him.
I feel awful now and like I'm failing at parenting, I should've been calmer and taken more time but I feel like he needs to learn to conform a little more. He's a nightmare at the moment and I think I might be pregnant again...

Personally I think a moment like this is a jolt to remind you of the type of parent you DO want to be. Make a cuppa. Cuddle your ds. Breath and move on from it.

I think a lot of parents would be lying if they said this didn't happen at least once. I don't believe it's possible to uphold our idealised way of parenting all day every day. It's happened now, DS will be fine, and you'll be less likely to do the same next time. Don't beat yourself up about it!

Go easy on yourself OP, sounds like you're having a rough time. This one isolated incident won't affect your DS.

Don't give yourself a hard time, we all get beyond frustrated at some point. So long as no harm was done just have a cuddle and move on.

I think we’ve all been there, you know you shouldn’t have done it and presumably you hope never to do it again. So give Ds and cuddle, and go easy on yourself.

My granddaughter can be awful when nappychanging and it’s so frustrating. I now put the changing mat on the floor by the sofa and let her stand up, playing with something on the sofa, whilst I do her nappy. It’s much less stressful!

Don't beat yourself up, we have all done something similar.

Honestly, we’ve all done it.

But he doesn’t need to “conform”. Were you in a big rush? It helps someone step into their world - he was busy doing something important to him and you dragged him away from that. You have been pissed off if someone did that to you.

If you had to be somewhere, talking to him calmly might be something to try. “We’re going to put your clothes on now, let’s put the tractor here for a minute”.

If you didn’t need to be somewhere leave him to what he’s doing and make yourself a cuppa.

Pick your battles.

It helps sometimes to*

I agree with the others, I think it's perfectly normal to have done this now and then. More unusual to have never done it!

How old is he?

How old is he? My 4yo will normally cooperate with getting dressed (won't dress themselves at all, but that's another battle !), but when DC was 2 I have memories of them trapped under one of my legs resisting furiously while I wrestled them into their clothes so we could leave for a doctor's appointment. This has definitely happened more than once .

Usually, I try to reason and give choices but sometimes you have to leave on time and sometimes you have to go places. So they can either cooperate and get dressed or they can be put in their clothes regardless. It's a bit like teeth-brushing...it's going to happen one way or another.

I have a very strong minded toddler. I’ve had to wrestle my son into his clothes many times between age 2-3. I tried everything else first. It was the same battle every morning. I simply didn’t have an hour (it may not have happened all day) to convince him to cooperate before going to work.
Don’t beat yourself up about it, sometimes you just need get it done. My son is now 3 and the ‘positive reinforcement’ tactics work.