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Parenting

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Original poster

18 month old hates lifts

10 replies

Opus17 · 27/01/2022 09:23

Hi everyone,
Looking for some advice on how to help DS with this. (Or to be told it's a (long) phase and I need to wait it out).
DS went in a lift for the first 8 months of his life nearly every day (we lived on the 8th floor). We then moved and with COVID, barely went far from our new place (2nd floor, no lift), so we could walk everywhere or take a bus.
We took DS (then 14 months old) out for the day and we had to go in lifts, and he had an epic meltdown - he was terrified. We held him and tried to calm him but it took ages, and we had it happened all four times.
He's 18 months now and still has these meltdowns. I want to take him to the zoo today and I'm going to go, but dreading the 4 lifts we have to go in. Is there anything I can do to help this? So I be avoiding lifts? (Although I don't know how cause I had the heavy buggy so stairs are a no-go)
Anyone been through this and remember how long it lasts? I find it distressing to see him getting himself in such a state for a ten second lift ride! He's usually quite laid back and quiet and after 4 months of awful colic in the beginning, I still find this kind of crying a bit triggering although I'm much better than i was!

Thanks everyone

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Original poster

Opus17 · 27/01/2022 09:24

Sorry for the typos. Have DS currently climbing all over me bored and wanting attention!

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Aroundtheworldin80moves · 27/01/2022 09:26

Does he have any ear problems?

I get dizzy in lifts. Its the motion. As an adult I can rationalise it, but if a toddler is having the same problems it would be upsetting for them.

Original poster

Opus17 · 27/01/2022 09:30

I don't think so as we flew over Christmas and he was fine on the plane but it's something I'll keep an eye on. He usually starts screaming as soon as we enter the lift and it gets louder when the doors close so before we're moving

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PiesNotGuys · 27/01/2022 09:35

I can sympathise with him - I hate lifts and haven’t been in one for decades. I’ve always managed without using them though - can you avoid them? Take the stairs or a different route?

Seeline · 27/01/2022 09:40

Is he in the buggy when you go into the lift? How about going in backwards so that it doesn't feel like you are pushing him to a cupboard? Or would he be better out of the buggy so that he can move round?

It may be a bit of claustrophobia, or he may not like the feeling of when your stomach drops.

Original poster

Opus17 · 27/01/2022 10:04

No different route sadly, only buses would take 90 minutes to get there and 5 buses 😣

I'll try going in backwards and see if that helps! We've tried taking him out the buggy so I'm holding him but it didn't make any difference. Plus today, I'm on my own without DH so it'll be difficult to take him out when trying to make the connections

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JustWonderingIfYou · 27/01/2022 10:37

So 4 meltdowns in 4 months?

I'd say you need to take him in more lifts so he gets used to them and realises there's nothing scary/bad. One lift ride every month is not going to help him.

I'd ignore the tantrum rather than re-enforce it by giving too much attention. Just carry on chatting to him normally, distract him with a snack or something.

Lots of short 1 floor journeys to begin with. Maybe get someone he likes to suprise/meet you when the door opens- granny/ auntie so he sees the lift as a positive.

Seeline · 27/01/2022 11:00

Have you got any of the glass lifts near you - shopping centre or something - he might like being able to see what is actually happening.

SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 27/01/2022 11:02

It’s usually the ears.
It’ll probably be the same with flying.
Can he chew or drink something in the lift to see if it helps ?

Original poster

Opus17 · 27/01/2022 13:18

Thanks for the advice everyone. I realised I've worded it wrong - when I say meltdown I just mean inconsolable crying. But it's not a temper tantrum (we don't have those... yet 😅) it's long sad crying with lots of tears. So it's something scaring him and in that case, I'd rather not ignore him hut comfort him instead. I do agree we maybe need to it more often though so he gets used to it! I've not avoided it on purpose, we just haven't gone many places due to COVID (still been pretty strict where I live).

I think you may be right @Seeline seeing as we've had no issues with the plane. We went in one of the lifts today and he complained a bit but he could see and when it suddenly went dark that's when he started crying. On the way home, I explained we were going in the lift to get the train and mummy will hold your hand and he did the second two lifts without crying! So I'm pretty happy! Thanks for the advice everyone

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