Those who have postnatal MH issues: did you ever have more than 1 child?

[again2020]

As the title says, really. Interested to hear if anyone has ever had another child who had postnatal mental health problems after their 1st.

I had post partum psychosis and underlying depression after DD which took a good 18 months to 2 years to fix. I think it was caused by lack of sleep and the huge shock to the system I found going from zero responsibilities to a baby.

I always said I wouldn't do it again but since my daughter turned 3 I've been wondering more and more, and how I'd get through it. I think about it everyday now, she's just turned 4.

There would be a big age gap and I'm 37 next month and feel time is running out. I'd love a sibling for DD but unsure if I'd cope or if I've left it too late.
In truth, I don't have the greatest support network (partner has own business so very busy and my parents aren't interested) so I would need a lot of help from outside sources ie. Mothers help, postnatal doula or similar. We could afford this.

Anyone any experiences to share?

I didn't have psychosis. But I did have PND and anxiety. I was pregnant again with my second within 18 months. I'm glad we did it. Having a positive experience with DC2 helped the healing process for me.

What I would say though is you need to make a plan of how things would be different this time. You've recognised that you didn't have support last time. What support can you put in place to stop it happening again? I think if you can't get yourself that support, then it's probably going to happen again.

For me, I was bad at asking for help and put too much pressure on myself. With DC2 I took a huge step back, I did next to nothing and got family and friends to help me out more.

Yes, I did.
I had an absolutely horrific birth with my first. DD was born unresponsive with no oxygen to her brain for 6 minutes. Apgar score of 1, and was in intensive care with what turned out to be sepsis. I didn't see her for 14 hours as I had a spinal, no one would tell me anything or take me to her. I was placed on a ward with mothers and newborns and I didn't know if my baby was alive. I was then told on day 4, they didn't know what was wrong, that she was very sick and wasn't likely going to make it.
By some miracle, she made a miraculous recovery and is perfectly healthy, with no repercussions from how sick she was.
I also became incredibly sick after as I had retained placenta and was rushed into hospital just after we took her home.
There was an inquest into the appalling care I received, which showed that it was unlikely to have been so severe if I wasn't left for 52 hours, and had a section as soon as baby was distressed. Instead I was left a further 20 hours.
From this experience I developed PND, PTSD and severe anxiety. I still have these things today, bar the PND which is now depression.

I desperately wanted another child, and despite these issues, I fell pregnant when my DD was 18 months. I had to come off my medication, but I did see a therapist during my pregnancy. I also had a wonderful consultant who basically listened to everything I said, and allowed me to decide exactly what I wanted for my birth. I opted to be induced rather than have a section as I wanted desperately to have a "normal" birth, where I could just pick my baby up.
I was induced one week early, and I had notes which explained all my trauma - and I had the most fantastic team. My midwife was an Angel sent from heaven, I was safe, cared for, and I gave birth to my son, and scooped him up and held him just as I wanted.
That itself was incredibly healing for me, and really helped with some of the trauma.

I still suffer with mental health, it hasn't in any way gone away, however my second child and second birth did so much to help me in my journey of motherhood.

I hope that Helps in some way, I'm sorry it's so long and so much is left out even being so long.
Don't be afraid to tell everyone around you exactly what you need. Finding my voice and being my own advocate is what got me the amazing experience I had with my son.

for you, you are so strong x

Our first baby was born sleeping and I had PTSD and anxiety. I appreciate not the same as PND so cannot relate in that way but we had our rainbow baby just over a year later. The pregnancy was terrifying, the birth was planned section and he was on SCBU for a few days before we got to come home.
I knew I needed support so had counseling through pregnancy via the hospital, I had a great consultant who, like pp,listened to what I needed, the midwives were amazing and gave us a cubicle on post natal ward to give us space and let husband stay (during covid 2021) and now have perinatal mental health with counseling and nursery nurse.
The best thing you can do when you know you need support is ask for it and make a plan for it and, although I still have my anxiety and problems, I have an amazing support network now (family are far away so no physical support/respite from them).
The best advice I got from midwife was to ask yourself if you want a baby, if the answer is yes then go for it, and the support will be there.

I’ve had crippling anxiety since I had DS1. I have a history of anxiety and a complicated fertility history (6 x miscarriages).

Following 3 miscarriages ttc #2 I have decided to give up. I’m too old and not mentally strong enough…

Me! I'm the same! Thank you for this post as I haven't met anyone that suffered like I did. My daughter was nearly 4 and I had a baby girl again. 2nd pregnancy was much easier. Have faith in God it will be easier.

@Puffflashpuffflashbang

Yes, I did. I had an absolutely horrific birth with my first. DD was born unresponsive with no oxygen to her brain for 6 minutes. Apgar score of 1, and was in intensive care with what turned out to be sepsis. I didn't see her for 14 hours as I had a spinal, no one would tell me anything or take me to her. I was placed on a ward with mothers and newborns and I didn't know if my baby was alive. I was then told on day 4, they didn't know what was wrong, that she was very sick and wasn't likely going to make it. By some miracle, she made a miraculous recovery and is perfectly healthy, with no repercussions from how sick she was. I also became incredibly sick after as I had retained placenta and was rushed into hospital just after we took her home. There was an inquest into the appalling care I received, which showed that it was unlikely to have been so severe if I wasn't left for 52 hours, and had a section as soon as baby was distressed. Instead I was left a further 20 hours. From this experience I developed PND, PTSD and severe anxiety. I still have these things today, bar the PND which is now depression.

I desperately wanted another child, and despite these issues, I fell pregnant when my DD was 18 months. I had to come off my medication, but I did see a therapist during my pregnancy. I also had a wonderful consultant who basically listened to everything I said, and allowed me to decide exactly what I wanted for my birth. I opted to be induced rather than have a section as I wanted desperately to have a "normal" birth, where I could just pick my baby up.
I was induced one week early, and I had notes which explained all my trauma - and I had the most fantastic team. My midwife was an Angel sent from heaven, I was safe, cared for, and I gave birth to my son, and scooped him up and held him just as I wanted.
That itself was incredibly healing for me, and really helped with some of the trauma.

I still suffer with mental health, it hasn't in any way gone away, however my second child and second birth did so much to help me in my journey of motherhood.

I hope that Helps in some way, I'm sorry it's so long and so much is left out even being so long.
Don't be afraid to tell everyone around you exactly what you need. Finding my voice and being my own advocate is what got me the amazing experience I had with my son.

for you, you are so strong x

@Puffflashpuffflashbang did you opt for a different hospital second time round?

No. I had awful PN anxiety which pretty much kept me housebound for 5 months. Then I had CBT and by about 12-18 months was ok. Theres no way in hell im doing it again.

For me, my first child was a difficult pregnancy, labour and birth but I was fine after it. No MH issues.

For my second, I went to a different hospital and the pregnancy, labour and birth were much better. Everything was fine until baby was 3 months and PND came on.

Truth be told, baby is now 2 and a half and I still havent fully recovered and I know I couldnt go through this again so wont have any more DC.