Managing life with a baby

[Maviya]

Hi.. I am a new mum and currently I am not working. I really want to know how do you all amazing women manage the household chores with a baby? How to cook when the baby is awake? How to keep him entertained and engaged while you are busy in the kitchen for more than am hour.
His wake window is around the same time when its time to cook dinner. How do you all manage all the basic things with a baby? Everything seems to be so difficult now.

Add two more then it becomes impossible! Maybe it’s time to re think your day?! I hate cooking now before dinner I do it in the morning, prep food, or a slow cooker meal so at mealtime it’s almost all done and doesn’t take so long! Baby can go in bouncer or high chair with toys and watch you work. Naps ...get housework done then! Honestly if your baby has a good routine it’s easy wait till they drop naps 😩!

Congratulations on your new arrival! Yes it can be a lot to get used to, but please don't put pressure on yourself to keep up with everything, and accept help where you can.
My DCs used to love the hoover, sometimes it sent them to sleep, so that was an easy task done. Both DCs lived in the sling for the first few months. For dinner, I'd either bounce with the sling and cook, or get prep done whilst they were asleep. Most importantly I cooked quick, easy meals! If you need a nap though, that comes before anything else 😁 and as long as baby is fed, clean and warm then you've achieved everything you need to!

How old is baby?

Depends how old they are. If they are not weaned yet then I would change dinner time. If they are then I would put baby in a sling if safe or in a high chair with some toys. I also would not be cooking anything that requires standing in a kitchen for an hour.
Batch cook when partner can look after baby and reheat or choose simpler receipts- tray bakes, slow cooker, stir fry. Even convenience foods like jars or packets.

My husband comes home and cooks. When he occasionally has to work late I do something easy for me and my six year old like fish fingers or pizza. I was having a microwave meal for lunch but now my baby is weaning I make something easy for us to share like pasta ir cheese on toast while she plays. Sometimes she cries while I cook and when I clean up after - it's tricky, going out for lunch is easier!

My husband cleans on Saturday while I take my older daughter to gymnastics and swimming.

I try to do laundry while my baby plays (in the baby gym when she was tiny).

Hi, congratulations…how old is your little one?

I am a first time mum to a 4 month old and it is hard to get everything done when they are tiny. As mentioned, if they are in a good routine it’s much easier - unfortunately my baby only contact naps so I have to be a bit creative.

For housework I follow the organised mum method - I know it seems a lot but you get into the swing of it and I definitely don’t manage it everyday! Good enough is good enough. My standards are much lower than before, although I do try and do a load of laundry everyday at the very least. To keep DS occupied I with pop him in sling or put a blanket/large muslin down on the floor with a few toys and let him kick about and roll around a bit. When I clean bathroom or shower he is in bouncer and high chair in kitchen as floors are tile.

In high chair while I cook but I am cooking for 30 mins maximum - either slow cooker meal prepped in morning, or quick dinner. Use a meal subscription if affordable. We have Gousto at the mo but only as it’s on offer.

Get shopping delivered (preferably when you aren’t home alone as that can be tricky) also if you have a partner, make sure they are helping too - so for us, one person does bath and story before bed while the other washes up/quick tidy. Then I do bedtime feed while DH makes his lunch for tomorrow/finishes tidying bathroom after bath etc.

What I’ve just described is what happens in good days - sometimes we are still our pyjamas at 3pm and the house is a mess.

On those days order a take away and remember that you are doing a great job!

I mastered the art of doing everything one handed because mine were Velcro babies who cluster fed!

I also prepped meals when they were asleep, which meant sometimes doing it at night when I should've been catching up on sleep. I'd do a shepherd pie/fish pie/ etc and pop it in the fridge to reheat the next day. Lots of pasta bake type meals too.

Tidying wise, I got that done early morning then a quick tidy again mid afternoon.

And yes to takeaways and messy days and pj days!

The answer is that you let things slide. You rarely spend an hour in the kitchen, the house will be a mess sometimes/much of the time.

It is such a big adjustment and I struggled with it, but try if you can to go easy on yourself and enjoy your beautiful baby. And on the hard days try to trust they will pass.

We are a 2 adult yo 1 child team so whoever isn’t with the baby (now toddler) does the jobs! Feck knows what we’d do if we have two!

My husband did the cooking, I found it impossible to do anything with a Velcro baby who wouldn’t nap anywhere but on me (he should have been in the sling but I was terrified of him suffocating in there - PNA) once he was 8 months he finally started napping in his cot and I’ll fly around and do jobs while he’s asleep (but my husband still generally always cooks the evening meal while I sort the majority of bedtime). My DS did used to tolerate his bouncy chair for small periods of time when he was small which was helpful for jobs like folding/putting washing away or quickly doing the washing up. Also you can Google high chair games like taping toys in a muffin tray for them to get out once they’re bigger and that can keep them busy for a while.

Chores during naps (I still feel like I'm out of control if DS wakes up early though and when he only slept in the pram it was horrendous. Then I used to put him in a carrier to do laundry - he was 9kg and it did my back in!) For dinner I use carrier/high chair/ jumperoo/ travel cot in the kitchen. I rotate around all of them to find one where he won't cry!

When dts were small I put something in the slow cooker when they were napping in the morning, or cooked for the week ahead on sundays when DH was with them. Boring as fuck but survival.

Agree with PP, you don't! Things slide, don't get done and you prioritise. On good days you get sorted and on intense days you just give in to not getting anything done...and that's absolutely OK!!!
You learn to adjust your routine and also as the months and years go by it keeps changing anyway with their changing needs and abilities. Go with the flow and don't see anything other than food and fluids as essentials 😂. Seriously though get help if anyone ne offers, but your life has changed, allow it to and everything will fall into place and adjust xxxx

don't cook things that keep you busy for an hour, for starters.
move dinner later, if it's your first kid and only adults to feed, it shouldn't be that time critical. Wait for the other parent to come home to hold the baby, or cook, as you prefer.

You can get things done with a baby you can put them down under a play gym or in a Rocky chair near you and get on with stuff. I understand they cry sometimes when they arnt being held but you don't have to give them 24 7 attention that isnt realistic and people with more than one can't do it anyway so the baby has to entertain itself sometimes

I don't. I let things go the house is a mess and my husband does the cooking after work. I'm up all night with baby and all I can do is keep baby alive and happy! The housework isn't my "job", my baby is

How Old is your Baby?

It's so hard isn't it, I have a 5month old and some things that help me is

using the slow cooker,
batch cooking
buying lots of Tupperware so that when DH is around I can chop all veg and prep in advance so when is comes to cooking in the week and I'm on my own with baby the prep is done and I can just cook. Or if I find myself with a bit more time in the week I chop more veg than I need for 1 meal and add to Tupperware for next meal.
Look for things you can just bung in the oven and leave e.g jacket potatoes and fishcakes.

Congratulations on your new baby!

The short answer is, unless you have a very 'easy' baby you don't. My ds needed constant attention and to be held and he still cried all the time. But for those first 6 months I got absolutely nothing done except keeping us both fed and alive (him fed a lot of the time I wasn't 😂) He's now 19mo and I only just feel like getting things done is getting slightly easier! But still mostly all done during his nap. Don't be hard on yourself. Just leave it messy, it won't be forever! (Coming from a clean freak I know how hard it is, it really got me down. But looking back, it's SO much less important than you think)

I used slings a lot especially with more dcs. Only cloth ones with good back support i found pre mobile stage i could get loads done but once walking way, way harder so used nap times.

I definitely didn't cook for an hour at a time for a start!
I remember feeling very overwhelmed by it all at four weeks when DH went back to work (I had PND too which didn't help). What worked for us was:
DH did all the cleaning on Sunday mornings whilst I took DD out.
Meals and chores like unloading dishwasher were done in bursts, with DD in a bouncy chair or one of those ring seats etc. You can sit them nearby and talk about what you're doing, when they're a little bigger give them something like a wooden spoon or plastic sieve to hold bash themselves over head with.
Double quantities when cooking and put half in freezer. Prep veg, grate cheese etc in a batch. Use a slow cooker (I used to chop veg and meat night before, then it only takes 10 mins to brown it all and get in slow cooker next morning). Buy in some shortcuts to make life easier (ready made sauce, pizza). Keep some ready meals in freezer for the days when it all goes wrong time wise!
I used to do as many chores as possible whilst DD was awake - sat near me so she could see etc and then use nap time to sleep or do something I wanted to do.

And you don't have to keep them entertained and engaged, they get a lot from just being around whilst you do stuff - talk about what you're doing (I felt like an idiot narrating unloading the dishwasher but DD seemed to like it ), give them something to hold etc. Once mine got to weaning age I'd sit her in the kitchen in her high chair and give her little bits of things like apple or pastry to squish around.

See I used to think exactly the same when my eldest was a baby. Now on days when he is in nursery and I just have his baby brother I am able to get so much done! I look back on his baby days and wonder what I did all day.