Promotion at work and an 19 month old. What should I do?

[Wednesday23]

I have a 19 month old and I've just been offered a manager job at work but I have to go from working 3 days to 5 days. I don't know if I should do it because it's less time with my daughter :( I do really need the job too as we have to move soon.

Many mums work full time, it's worrying but you need to weigh up the pros and cons

Would do it and get good childcare. Even if you move the promotion on the CV will help with future job applications.

Yeah childcare is all sorted anyway. I would just feel so guilty about not having much time with my daughter.

Best time with full time childcare options available
Once she gets to school age
You might be able to negotiate hours

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

Excuse me?

Is that for both parents or just the mother?

How much time does her dad spend with her?

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

Do your partner work full time - you could ask him or her why they do it?

Many work full time because they need the money.

Many work full time because they enjoy their careers.
Some will be both.

OP might be worth writing yourself a pro and con list to see how things weigh up. At the end of the day only you and your family can decide what works for you.

I'm in a similar position and I think I am going to go for it as it will benefit us both massively in the future. I say do it, make the most of the time you have on the weekends 💛

It's a horrible decision. At the end of the day they grow up so fast and you never get that time back but you might not get the work opportunity again either. Men don't seem to have this shit to worry about.

IMO it’s actually a lot easier when kids are at nursery when you can just pay for 8-6 childcare 52 weeks a year if you need to.

Managing school hours and terms is a whole other level. You might well be able to renegotiate or find another job by then. I’d go for it as long as you will have more cash after paying for additional childcare

@kshhuxnxk
I don't understand why people have kids and expect everyone else to pay for them🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈.

Some people are to proud to not work and have the government rare them. And can say anything they provided for them came out of there own pockets.

It's a hard decision for you. But if you do decide to go for it then if you have good childcare your daughter will be just fine. I have a 6 year old and worked full time from when she was 7 months old. She thrived with her childminder and is now doing fantastically at school. Our relationship didn't suffer. I have another baby now and it is going to be a difficult decision whether to try to fine part time work or go back full time. I know she will do well and be happy either way. It's just whether I want the time or the opportunities the extra money buys us all.

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

Full time is not 24 7. Weekends aNd holidays exist It s real life for many

I was in a similar position and chose not to take the promotion and spend more time with my kids. still look back and agonise over whether I made the right decision. It’s so hard.

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

Because I wanted to, and that's reason enough. I personally couldn't have stayed at home as I'd have been bored to tears. Each to their own.

Go for it! Congratulations!

There's still plenty of time to spend together when you're not at work. If it's going to make life better in the long run then definitely do it.

I got promoted on mat leave OP, I was meant to be doing four days and the offer was for five. I work flexibly though and get to spend a decent amount of time with her/them in the mornings and after nursery/school. I did sort a nanny for two days a week so there was more of a home/nursery balance.

Amazing, well done. I have three kids aged 8-13 and they are all wonderful and thriving. We’re so close and I spend lots of time with them. I also work full time. There is money for holidays and doing nice things together, trips to the cinema, whatever we feel like doing. It’s great.
Get good childcare, get a cleaner and outsource stuff, and get your DH to split the other chores 50/50.
And as for the above comment. I can’t quite believe it. Should men stop working once they have children?

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

I’ve never understood why some people think they have the right to judge others who make different life decisions than they did.

I think it totally depends on what kind of managerial role you’d be stepping into. I manage a team of 20ish call centre workers and when I went back after mat leave 1 I just couldn’t hack it any more. I did condensed hours over 4 days but even on my “day off” I was always being called and it was basically expected I would be available. It only got worse when covid hit and we went entirely home based as I wasn’t able to shut off as well. I found myself doing more and more catch up work at evenings and weekends. I’m now on mat leave with DC2 and due back to work in June. I know, unequivocally, that for the sake of my mental health I cannot go back into a busy management role and manage 2 children as well. I’d be spreading myself too thin. Thankfully my company have created a position for me with less responsibility. I’ll be working 3 days a week and I’ve made it clear once I shut my laptop at 5pm, I am done.

However that’s only my experience and there’s no right or wrong answer. Just thought I’d share. Best of luck x

@Kshhuxnxk

I've never understood why people have children and then work full time so for me it would be a no. Yes there were times money was very scarce but for me best way was not to work till youngest at school. Also being a Manager rarely is a 9-5 job.

Because 1) we're obviously not all as privileged as you to live off the income of a significant other or you're parents, 2) its 2022 - women are allowed, and, 3) some women, as much as it will surprise you, want a career and working life.