Leaving my breastfed toddler overnight

[KL92xxxx]

My 22mo isn’t a good sleeper, never has been and I suspect never will be (unless he’s in my bed between me and and his dad).

He is still breastfed but doesn’t feed to sleep at bedtime, dad is able to get him to sleep as well as I can. However overnight 50% of the time he will only go back to sleep if he’s fed to sleep. We work full time and are absolutely knackered, so it’s been an easy solution for all of us to get more sleep.

I’ve obviously never left him overnight for this reason however I have a new job that may require the odd overnight trip, it’ll be non negotiable basically. I don’t know how to prepare my toddler for this or I should prepare at all. He’ll obviously be in his own home with his dad but I just worry they’ll both work themselves up into a frenzy.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I went away when my son was about the same age and I did a lot of talking about it. When I came back he was all over me. He woke up in the night when I was away but he got into bed with my husband.
Unfortunately I had to be admitted into hospital suddenly so could not prepare him. That night he went round the house as he was unsettled but he was fine when I came home the next day

My daughter is 20 months and very similar. She recently had to sleep over with my mum unplanned, and she just went to sleep and when she woke in the night my mum settled her. I think because I wasn't there she knew milk wasn't even an option so didn't make a fuss. You might find the same, all you can do is either attempt to night wean him or just give it a go when you go away the first time, and see what happens.

FWIW my older daughter was the same but its now 4 and sleeps through the night every single night so there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

I did night shifts from about 12 months with both my DSs who were still bf at the time. They learned to settle with DH pretty quickly! DS1 continued to bf until 2, but DS2 dropped feeds pretty rapidly once I went back to work and we stopped completely just after 13 months.

I have a breastfed toddler and working in the office a few times a week so get back late. He very quickly cottoned on that I was going and he'd be left with his dad. They have a different routine and when he wakes in the night DH just tells him a story (usually zog off by heart). First week was bumpy but after that he's adjusted.

First night night well be tricky. Can your DH take the next day off work just in case he gets no sleep e.g. ends up holding/rocking toddler half the night?

They may surprise you though. I had to lead one of my twins overnight with my mum (other twin had been rushed to hospital, all fine now but had to stay with him for a couple of days). I left my mum with some expressed milk and some bottles/cups. Apparently he woke quite a g times, but not in great distress. He took only 1oz from the bottle each time (probably why he then woke again 2 hours later!) But he went back to sleep with rocking. She was tired the next day from holding him so much, but he wadnt at all distressed.

It's amazing how they adapt. I first had to travel to the US for work when my youngest was around 18 months and was convinced that would be the end of breastfeeding for us. The little minx settled great for Daddy while I was away. She also looked for milk as soon as I got home.

She finally stopped just after she turned 5..

At that age he'll figure out you aren't there and your husband will work out how to settle him in your absence. You might need to express a but for comfort whilst you're away. I left my breastfed toddler at just turned 2 and she was fine. After that I went out for evenings sometimes and left my husband to put her to bed. She just learnt that bedtime milk was only available when I was there. She breastfed till 3.5.

I had an 18mo who fed like a newborn, day and night. I had to suddenly go to hospital for a week out of the blue and he didn't even bat an eyelid! Apparently didn't even ask my DH and just happily pottered on. Whilst I was secretly gutted that it was over just like thT, I was grateful he was happy. He didn't even once ask me when I came home for milk.

First time is the hardest! I quit feeding dd2 because she wanted to feed multiple times a night and I was exhausted, she was 18 months

I think you will probably find that as soon as you start doing this your DC will miraculously start sleeping through. They only want you when you're there. When you're not there it's out of sight, out of mind.