Recently I have begun to notice certain behaviour patterns in my mother that are bothering me. I am unsure whether I am getting annoyed for no reason, or whether she is being controlling.
It has recently started with how I've noticed she treats my dad. I have been home a lot more recenlty due to working from home and have therefore seen them interact much more. He works full time5/6 full days a week and she works 2 9:30-4. During the time I have been working at home I notice she spends maybe 6/7 hours a day on her phone (I've seen her screentime) usually sitting on facebook marketplace, browsing the internet etc. When I work from home on my break I will tend to do what I can, emptying the dishwasher, doing a quick clean round the bathroom washing etc before I have to return to my work. About an hour before my dad comes home she will rush round tidying the house. When my dad comes in looking tired after his day she proceeds to complain to him about how shit her day has been and how she has spent the entire time cleaning up after everyone and having to do everything in the house on her own. This repeats everyday she is not at work. My dad has to ask her permission to leave the house to go on a bike ride/meet his friends. Recently he went out one night for a meal with them which is a rare occurance. When he returned my mother grilled him about how much he spent on the meal (£15) and why he was wasting money like that and complained he should have gone somewhere cheaper.
In the last 3 weeks my boyfriend has moved across the country to live in our house due to a new job he has got. We have both signed for an apartment to move out which should be happening in the next week or so. We have mainly decided to do this due to my mums full on behaviour and how she acts around the house. Since then my mum has been very enthusiastic about it, which I have no problem with. However she has now decided that she would like to buy us things for this apartment. At first I thought this was a nice gesture and was thankful for it. However she is now telling me what I can/cant buy and what my partner cant either. She is saying we cant go shopping together for furniture for the place as thats what she wants to do with me and claims she needs to be involved with the decorating. I appreciate her wanting to help out however I feel like she is being too full on and controlling before I've even left.
I spoke to her recently about these issues as she brought up that she thought I was being off. I explained them to her and she flew off the handle saying I was ungrateful, rude etc. She is currenlty not speaking to me and slamming around the house constantly.
Its all driving me a bit nuts and I'd just like some advice/response from anyone whos had a similiar problem.