Unsure whether to double barrell DD surname

[Flopsy145]

My dd is 10 months old and was registered with her father's surname, the plan being we would eventually marry and I would take his name. At the time I didn't think I would mind having a different name to her for a few years but now I'm not sure, it doesn't upset me I just feel a bit odd. Myself and her dad are very much together and happy, plan to still marry one day but now I'm not sure if I would actually take his name or just keep mine/double barrell.
I also have developed a bit of a 'fuck the patriarchy' mindset since having her and have come to the realisation that women don't actually have their own surnames, traditionally it's always our fathers or husband's. But I feel like double barelling almost creates a new name for her. I also do the majority of childcare, say 98%, if that makes any difference, but then I also think a child isn't a group project with team member names on.
His dad (with the same name) also irks me, he's super old school and I don't really have the same views as him, so her having his last name but not mine bothers me.
My partner has a son from a previous relationship who's name was double barrelled after the split, the son has said to me before that he would rather just have one name (his dad's) and think when he's older he will just drop to his dads name.

Essentially I'm really conflicted, her father has said he doesn't mind but I think it made him a bit sad when I mentioned it.
Is it a faff having a double barelled name? Should I just think of it as just a name without all this extra meaning I've added onto it?

What happens when your double-barrelled DC meets the love of their life, and they are also double-barrelled? Not strictly a response to your question, but I do wonder how this will play out in years to come.

Personally, I kept my own name when we married (over 30 years ago). When the DC came along, they took their father's surname, and I added that name onto my driving license, passport, GP etc., but am never referred to as Mrs. double barrelled in every day life. I normally go by my real name - ie. maiden name - but if at school or elsewhere I was called Mrs. DH's surname, I just answered and didn't make fuss or get offended.

So in short - a bit of a faff, but my confused way works for me.

@ajandjjmum that's my main concern about when she's older and wants to get married and it being all very confusing and long winded.
I should also add she has my middle name, as does my mum, so that can be seen as the female line name haha.

I think yours sounds like a good approach, I was thinking I would probably do the same and legally be a double barelled but keep my name as the known as name. Thank you.

Funnily enough Flopsy, both of my DC have one of my family names as their middle name - my DD and I share my grandmother's name and DS has my Dad's name, so my family names are very much included.

I didn't double-barrel the DCs because DH's name and mine sounded terrible combined (essentially because one of our surnames is a noun and the other is an adjective) and I still wish that I'd been able to think of a way of doing it. So (were this a democratic decision) I'd vote in favour.

^> What happens when your double-barrelled DC meets the love of

their life, and they are also double-barrelled?^

If my (hypothetically double-barrelled) adult DC and their adult partner couldn't manage to work out a solution to this conundrum between them then they probably shouldn't be getting married.

I also though double barrelling names in this instance is a great idea tbh.

Also dont worry about what you're DD will do when shes older and wants to marry. She can sort it then!

What happens when your double-barrelled DC meets the love of their life, and they are also double-barrelled?

They just pick one of the names. This comes up every time there is a thread about double barrelled names. Other countries don't have a problem.

I never changed my surname when married so my children have a double barrelled surname. I do not care if they drop my surname once they turn 18, but whilst I have parental responsibility they will legally have my name.

@CountessOfSponheim that's my other concern is that our names really don't sound amazing together, two very generic common English names that have no flow at all. So even if legally her name was double barelled probably day to day she wouldn't be known as that.
My other option is to change my name by deed poll so that legally we all have the same name. My last name is from my grandads step father so it's not like I'm ending a long family line.
Thanks all for your input, I'll chat to my partner about essentially whether he would prefer her name change or mine as these are the choices we have in order for me and her to have the same name.

Which surname do you like the best between yours and your DP?

I would change her surname to yours, which is what it should have been in the first place. And then he can change his name to yours if he wants you all to have the same name.

Loads of people double barrel
If you don't think you'll change your name on marriage then definitely add yours to hers now. Before she's old enough to learn what her surname is! It doesn't matter how they sound together, they will sound fine when you get used to it.

We double barrelled DD’s name, she just uses OH’s name for school and suchlike. Not because it’s OH’s name per se, because it’s shorter

@RantyAunty both names are fine, very inoffensive simple names. His name is more common than mine, but I don't prefer one over the other.
I think if anything I would double barrell my name but be known as just mine at work and just his at school potentially, and then we would still share his name. I'm considering waiting until we do get married which will be in the next 3 years or so as I may well want to change my name to his and then I would have to change hers again

It would be so much simpler if children were automatically named after their mother whether they are single, married, or divorced. I also think that the term maiden name should be abolished, what does it even mean, that a girl's name is temporary? Drives me mad! Anyway, i am not a fan of double barrelled names but they are becoming increasingly popular so it might be the best option for you.

It was important for us to have the same family name and if our daughters marry, I think they would just keep their name and then also accept 'to be known' as Mrs whatever if and whenever that happens. If they have kids of their own, they can decide with their dhs.
It's not a faff having a double barrelled name. It's just personal preference.

Good either name works!

2 of my sister's married men with surnames that were embarrassing, body parts.
They change their surnames and the DC had the fathers' surname.

They later regretted it. The DC were teased at school. Eventually they changed their names and DC names back to our cool maiden name.

Made life a lot easier.

Is there a reason to be waiting another 3 years to get married?

Double barrell.

I’m giving birth to our first child in a few weeks, we’re not married and the child’s surname will be hisname myname. (And they don’t sound particularly fabulous together) I’ve been pregnant for nine months, I’m going through the trauma of birth, it’s my body that has had a battering, there’s no way it’s not having my name: options were my name or both our names.

Unless you genuinely don’t like your name it honestly baffles me how many women don’t seem to give a shit that their child gets their husbands name and not theirs, seemingly by default the way most people go about it.

Yes I feel strongly about this :)