Surviving bedtime with baby and toddler

[StruggleStreet]

I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I find juggling both of them pretty demanding generally but bedtime is the absolute hardest part of the day. I very rarely get through it without everyone screaming.

How on earth do other people do this? It seems impossible.

Whenever I pick the baby up to feed, etc the toddler plays up and causes chaos and just generally gets upset about not having any attention. Whenever I put the baby down to deal with the toddler he screams. I can’t really settle one with the other there but can’t leave either of them long enough to settle the other because they both just cry.

I feel like I’m constantly having to choose which one I’m going to leave to cry long enough to get the other one to sleep, and then switch back.

It’s so bloody stressful. What am I doing wrong and will it ever get easier?

I just did my toddlers normal routine while feeding baby. So we all lay in DD1’s single bed and did stories and a little song till she fell asleep then me and DD2 snuck out. Once DD2 was about 6 months I put her to bed first while DD1 watched TV. I found white noise really helped so that every cry/snuffle/fidget doesn’t disturb the other child.

I would put the baby down later, 7pm is still early for 3 months.
Feed the baby before toddlers bedtime routine, then put baby in a bouncer in the bathroom while bathing toddler, then in the sling while doing stories and bedtime with toddler and put the baby down an hour or 2 layer. Having a half an hour gap between bedtimes is causing the stress.

I had a 23 month old and newborn and my husband chose that point to switch jobs to one with lots of lates and night shifts... Including at weekends 😢

At the beginning, I did baby in sling and toddler went to bed first. Although sometimes toddler was wild and kicked too much during nappy changes so baby had to lie on floor at the other side of the room for his own safety. Both howling...

Eventually baby went to bed (Moses basket in living room) about 18:30 while toddler watched CBeebies bedtime hour then bed. Which was much easier.

But basically it's hard, make it easy by minimising baths and use screens if they help. Then go to bed early and leave DH to do cooking and washing when he gets in.