Very sensitive 3 month old, normal?

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, our 3 month old is super sensitive (I think, or maybe it’s normal and I’m overthinking). He had colic which has thankfully cleared up but he seems to get overstimulated easily. On the one hand he needs to be entertained constantly and loves ‘chatting’ and us talking to him, but if I yawn, or sneeze, or someone laughs too loud, or if I pull a face he doesn’t like he suddenly looks terrified and bursts into tears! Is this normal? I feel like I have to be very careful and gentle when playing with him to not upset him. It’s almost like he suddenly thinks I’m unfamiliar and it scares him.

Also I find if we go to baby classes he sometimes cries because it’s too much going on, or even if he seems ok in the session he tends to get overtired afterwards and cries in the evening.

Is this normal? It’s my first baby and I love him so much, he does seem intelligent but I’m just worried he’s a little over sensitive, and that he will grow up to be an over sensitive child? I’m quite a sensitive person myself so maybe he gets it from me!

Some reassurance would be amazing! Thanks

They’re all different personalities of course but I think this is totally normal behaviour, especially for such a young baby.
My baby is also terrified of sneezes 😂

Also I meant to say all the people/friends I know with babies this age don’t seem to do this… they all seem so chill all the time and none of them had colic. It always feels like it’s my baby getting freaked out and upset and I’m worried I’m failing him somehow ☹️

Try not to compare to friends children, they’re all different.
Three months is so young, every new experience must seem pretty overwhelming. I think the best thing you can do is to keep gently introducing him to new things, keep going to your classes etc, and be that safe space when he does get overwhelmed or upset.

Ah op he sounds really gorgeous! He sounds so sweet and engaged with you

I have much older kids now and so have seen a LOT of babies in the last 11 years.

Some little ones who were very sensitive as babies are very straightforward kids now. Some babies just cry quite a lot and it’s just a phase.

Some will definitely stay sensitive - I had a very sensitive little boy and he’s still like that now. He’s lovely, just sensitive!

I would ask gp if his hearing can be checked as it turned out one of the reasons our little one was startling so much was that he was deaf so the sudden loud noises shocked him as he was used to quiet due to his low hearing. We got grommets for him at 2 and for our youngest who also had glue ear at age 1 but I think our oldest was deaf much longer.

There is a chance that baby behaviour like this is personality related as my oldest is still very sensitive now as a child in the late primary years. I wanted to be honest with you op because when I worried about these things when he was a baby I felt everyone just kept fobbing me off and saying it was completely run off the mill. Our ds has friends and is doing well at school.but we think there are some asd traits. That’s fine though and he is lovely exactly how he is. We are really proud of him.

My advice would be if you can to try to stop worrying and enjoy your lovely baby as he is in terms of his personality and consider getting the hearing checked.

It’s life changing having a new baby. Do you have support around you in RL?

He's still so young! Remember babies are very much "live in the moment" people, so happy now. Crying the next, then happy again. It's no biggie. Don't compare your baby and just be present. Remember they don't need fancy toys, entertainment all day and classes. They just need you to reassure them and be there when they need you. If you think the classes are overstimulating for him and he doesn't enjoy them, then trust your feelings and don't take him (unless you go to meet mums, get out the house and do something for yourself then that's a bit different - but don't feel pressured into doing classes because everyone else does ). 3 months is still young and he's learning to trust that his surroundings are safe. You can help by being the very caring mother that you sounds like. I wouldn't worry, my baby is 10 weeks and is scared of the sound of cello tape. And has started to "call for me" when I leave her sight for too long. All normal. First borns do seem to need someone near them more often compared to second or third born who just love to watch the elder children play.

Just coming back to add that I remember my friend being similarly concerned about her son as a baby. He’s three now and is still a little sensitive but not overly so, and he’s just the loveliest, sweetest little boy. So even if he does turn out to be more sensitive, that’s not a bad thing, the world needs more sensitive boys.

Thank you all. I’m wondering if he’s going to take after my dad (and me) who is a very sensitive chap! Which I agree isn’t a bad thing!

We do have some male family members on both sides with ASD traits although not diagnosed, but l wondered if it was ASD would he be less chatty, smiley and interactive with us than the average? He is always trying to catch our eye to chat and smile etc, he loves faces way more than toys.

Not that we would mind if he was ASD, we would obviously still love him just the same!

It's normal, he's new to the world so everything is a bit overwhelming at this age. They tend to not like noisy baby groups until more like a year old. Quiet ones can be good from about 4 months when they start wanting to look at other babies.

You won't be able to see any ASD markers at this age, and it wouldn't make any difference to how you treat him anyway until he's about 3 so try not to worry about it as it can become a bit of an obsession. Babies develop in their own time and they all get there in the end.

Thank you! We actually stopped going to the baby group after one session, he just cried and threw up and only enjoyed looking at me and smiling/chatting. All the NCT people I know who went to it loved it and their babies didn’t cry! Sometimes I feel like the only one with a baby that is so sensitive, but I kinda like it and think it makes him special ❤️

Thank you

Mine was like that. Still sensitive now but not nearly to the extent I worried about. He’s actually quite resilient now. Some babies are just born more sensitive. It’s a good thing, the world needs all types.

Ah op that’s similar to us then - we also have similar. Some male family members with a few traits but none diagnosed. I think mine will get a very high functioning diagnosis in the next few years.

Mine was very engaged and responsive and just a total joy as a baby. He was also very sensitive and cried more than an average baby.

I would really recommend buying the hanen book about speech ‘more than words’ - the best website is the Winslow press. It’s too expensive on Amazon. It’s a super book around promoting speech and communication for dc who may have traits. You will find lots of ideas in there you can do with him from about ten months onwards I think.

I would also recommend keeping a careful eye and do the MCHAT checklist with him regularly as he gets older.

I’m not an hcp just a mum with experience, but awareness is best. Then if any additional traits at age 2 when you need to apply for a preschool age place, you can ensure they go in to a preschool that’s likely to be right for them.

Hopefully none of the above applies. But best to keep an eye and I wish I had got mine into a diagnostic process at 3.

Definitely worth a hearing test at this point.

@BertieBotts actually not true to say you can’t see asd markers. You can and a lot I people retrospectively say they did. You just can’t be sure they ARE asd markers until later.

Well... exactly. What does a mother of a 3mo gain from looking for markers at this age? Nothing except anxiety.

Ok thanks everyone ❤️

He just cried now because someone called while I was feeding him and I put it on speakerphone, it doesn’t normally bother him but this was a loud male voice.

It really upsets me when he cries 😭❤️

The markers I’m seeing when I Google it for 3 month olds are -

Not making eye contact
Not smiling
Not babbling
Not reacting to loud sounds

But he does do all these things quite a lot… I guess only time will tell but I wonder if he’s just really sensitive

DD1 was very sensitive and easily overstimulated for ages. I remember taking her to picnics, BBQs etc and DP having to just take her for long walks in her buggy because she wailed inconsolably at all of the noise and people. She was also permanently overtired due to only having 28 minute naps, and only when forced in a buggy.

She’s just turned 3 now and so confident, sociable and in her element in busy environments like preschool. She’s gone from being so overstimulated to needing lots of stimulation to keep her happy.

It’s really rubbish OP but it probably will pass. I’m a primary teacher and remember a friend and colleague gently suggesting ASD at a park play date when she was about 12 months and refusing to get out of her buggy or go near the other children. It all changed suddenly at around 18 months, when she dropped her nap, starting sleeping all night and was talking in full sentences.

Hopefully it’s just a phase for you, and you can see from everyone’s stories that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t think it’s a result of parenting, as DD2 is much calmer so far (though and equally rubbish day and night sleeper)!

My daughter was the same. We had to stop going to baby sensory classes! She did however love swimming, so we have kept it up. She's 3 now. Now I think, it's not surprising really, the world is sensory enough for them!

She's definitely very sensitive still and terrified of hand dryers. When she was 3 months old, she used to fill up with emotion- lip quivering and tears (but no crying) whenever I sang Baby of Mine to her. It was amazing. ❤

Thank you all ❤️

He’s generally very social - smiley, laughing, chatting and lots of eye contact. Hates tummy time but can roll from back to side. He had colic so we got him in a bedtime routine at 8 weeks, he now sleeps through 12 hours a night and naps pretty reliably in the day.

I guess they are all just different? I don’t think his crying when startled is a hearing problem, as he also did it once when I pulled a face that scared him. It was like he suddenly wasn’t sure who I was and it freaked him out.

I didn’t have colic as a baby but have always been quite emotional and sensitive, so maybe he’s just taking after me I don’t know. It’s really hard to not compare all the time though and worry, I am a bit of a worrier and sometimes over analyse.

Hi my baby girl is 14 weeks
Yesterday I was throwing a muslin cloth in the air to entertain her- she watched me do it twice then screamed and cried.
At our last baby sensory she cried Because we had missed her morning nap due to health visitor and she was over stimulated.
There have been times where she is feeding and I cough or sneeze and she cries
There is just a lot for them to take in at this age

I am taking it to be normal. She loves to chat to me, she giggles, she is hitting all her milestones

This sounds so much like my little boy, he's 10 months old and still very sensitive. He also seems quite intelligent, curious, and more advanced than most of his peers (walking already etc). Sometimes I wonder if its just him not understanding the noise, because once he sees something regularly like the hoover he then loves it.

@Kona84 that sounds very similar! I think I’m forgetting the importance of naps - he cried at baby sensory but that’s because we had to skip his lunchtime nap to go to it. He really needs 3 naps a day roughly after about 2 hours of awake time each time, and if he doesn’t get that he’s understandably going to be upset. Thank you for putting my mind at ease!

@LottieDot that sounds lovely 🥰❤️ Curious and sensitive sounds great. I like to think my boy is just super intelligent and taking things in more than other babies but I am biased ☺️

Oh Christ this is mine 😂 lovely wee thing he is but he certainly takes after his dad. Very sensitive. He's four months and a slight change in the tone of my voice is all it takes to break his heart. I've inhaled too sharply before speaking and he's burst into tears 🙄

I spend a lot of time doing 'big smiles' and exaggerated laughing after little things happen to show him that it's ok. "Oh mummy dropped the bar of soap and it made a clatter, isn't that funny? Ho ho ho hee hee" etc etc.

His default mode is to look concerned about everything and then grin widely once he sees that everything is ok. Soft wee man that he is.

He burst out crying at a painting in an art gallery yesterday. He is literally the screamer in the Sistine Chapel.

@GromblesofGrimbledon awww that a sweetheart!! I’ve started doing that too - if he looks startled I’ll quickly smile and say happy things so he knows it’s ok and it often stops his bottom lip coming out (which is what he does just before he full on cries)

@Cafeaulait27

Yep. With mine it's the perfect upside down "U" mouth ☹️ that I can't do but his dad can. If you catch him quick he's a real gorgeous smiler. He breaks his wee heart so badly over the smallest things.

Thankfully he consoles really quickly with a cuddle and he's not one for crying and crying. Phew!

I wonder if he'll grow up to be a sensitive little guy or if it's just how he is as a baby.

It helps not to think of it as 'too sensitive' and 'oversensitive'. If you accept his reactions as they are it's better for everyone. He's still tiny but if it continues you might find you have to speak up for him and validate his needs, not letting other people dismiss them as too this or that. How your baby experiences the world is just as valid as how someone 'less' sensitive does iykwim.

Mine outgrew it a lot around age 4. My DD has sensory processing disorder and some asd traits but not autistic.