Am i right to be annoyed

[Lily189]

Hi everyone I have a 1 year old son and 10 day old daughter
My son has really thick hair with wee curls at bottom I love it think it's cute but it is abit wild looking so I agreed that he can get a trim
My bf wasn't his mums (shes an amazing nanny cant fault her in any way )
And came back saying his mum would take our son to get his hair cut if I didnt want to

I got upset nearly crying just felt like they were trying to take over
and my bf thought I was being stupid I think a first hair cut is a thing both mum and dad go to
He didnt think was big deal and kept saying sure u didnt want go
It wasnt I sidnt want fo I wasnt sure I was ready for him get his hair cut

So in end where going next week together to get his hair cut

But my bf just seemed annoyed at me for not just letting his mum do it I think I have every right to be annoyed and want take my son myself

Does anyone agree on this or am I overreacting
All advice be great tia

This is just different views and no right or wrong. Personally I wouldn't be bothered about a first hair cut and would let his nanny do it if she is good. It saves money and is possibly less overwhelming for him. I definitely wouldn't go with 2 parents to a barbers. However YANBU for wanting to be there and your partner should be understanding of this. Can you go to his mum's house and have it done there?

It is a rite of passage, I still have a lock from my DC’s first hair cut. I would have wanted to be there too.
Added to that you’ve just given birth, and are likely to be more emotional.
I think your reaction was totally understandable.

I think you are a wee bit…..but you have a new baby, so it might just be your hormones (as glib as that sounds).
You had already said he was getting a trim. MIL maybe thinks she’s helping as you are occupied with the baby.
Also I have never seen both parents going to a first (or any) haircuts, that sounds a bit extreme.

I wouldn’t care but that doesn’t invalidate the fact it’s important to you. Maybe you could have just said it rather than getting too worked up.

Yanbu to want to be there for his first haircut if it’s meaningful to you. Yabu not to just say “Thanks but I want to take him myself” rather than getting upset and having drama about it.
She can offer, you can say no. No biggie. X

To add, I’ve never heard of both parents attending the first haircut either.

Hormones post partum.

If it matters to you, it should matter to your bf.

The issue is not that he wants to cut your little one’s hair. It’s that he’s not listening to your feelings on the matter at all and he’s diminishing your feelings.

She offered as she knows you've got your hands full and it's his dad who should have respected your feelings so your issue is with him. It does sound a bit precious to have both of you there (particularly as he's not bothered) but if it's important to you then go for it.... If it's a busy place though they might not appreciate 4 of you plus a buggy turning up - would MIL look after baby for you?

@Glitterspy

Hormones post partum.

If it matters to you, it should matter to your bf.

The issue is not that he wants to cut your little one’s hair. It’s that he’s not listening to your feelings on the matter at all and he’s diminishing your feelings.

Oh look let’s not demonise the man. Perhaps he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and genuinely doesn’t see the need for upset. I don’t take on every cause my husband does because it matters to him, I’m allowed my own point of view.

She offered as a favour and to help you out. The normal response would be “no thank you, I’d like to take him myself, but thanks for the offer”.

I’m assuming you’re sore and sleep-deprived so forgive yourself and forget about it now.

You MIL asked if she could get your kids hair cut IF you didn't want to. I can't see how that could possibly be an unreasonable thing of her to ask. I think you were being silly but hopefully it was just that you were caught at a bad time.