Screen time and rules for DS10 - at wits end

[Pogodogo18]

I am starting to feel stressed & ill from the constant arguing and disagreements about tech with DS age 10.

He plays football but other than that his main interest is looking at a screen whether it be ps4, tv or ipad. I have tried taking these away and then he becomes nice for a day until he gets it back again and then the pattern repeats. I am now trying no screens in the week (3 days we’re usually out until 6pm anyway) and a two hour limit at weekends.

I need advice to change things about how we communicate and how I can enforce some rules/discipline. This morning we had a massive argument and he was shouting at me very aggressively because I said he couldn’t take the PS4 to his granny’s house this weekend.

It’s really stressed me out and I’m not sure where I go with it all. It’s actually making me feel quite depressed, all the confrontation and constant arguing/ attempts at negotiation.

The sad thing is when he doesn’t have electronics he just doesn’t know what to do and says he is bored.

Please can anyone help? My home feels an unhappy one right now and I feel crap and at my wits end. I’m a single parent working full time so have no adult back-up at home.

Just stay calm and stick to the rules. Don’t get sucked in.

And remind him that his shouting is exactly why you’re restricting screens

Is there any reason he can't take his PS4 to his granny's house? Or why you don't want screen time during the week?

Or if you want no screen time during the week can he have it a bit more at the weekend? Relax the 2 hour rule a bit?

I would pick my battles. If it's what he really loves to do, I would let him.

I wonder if you're making things hard for yourself and a more relaxed attitude would work better? (I can see that you clearly have good intentions) DS is 10 (yr 6) and we don't have any screen limits. He plays football for a team so does match and training, does 2 after-school sports clubs, goes to Scouts, does his homework, walks the dog with us, and goes out very locally with friends. As long as he's maintaining these things then if some days he has what I might class as a bit too much screen time then I don't see that it's doing much harm.

Don't get sucked into arguments.

Sit down with him and try and agree a new set of rules you both are happy with. Then stick to these rules. Don't argue with him or negotiate or bribe or change the goalposts. Just stick firm to the rules you agree on.

I think if he loves it, no screen time at all in the week is a little harsh so I would be prepared to bend on that.

I would rather he didn’t take it as it’s a social visit (doesn’t get to see her very often) and I want him to be fully ‘present’ not distracted by tech. They get on very well, she is good at entertaining him with stuff like baking and games, it’s not like he’ll be bored. I know he’d be on it for hours unless she ‘polices’ it, and it doesn’t seem fair.

I understand about picking the battles - essential with a pre-teen! - but this is past that. I feel he doesn’t accept when I say no and things then escalate. It’s really difficult 😞