Feel like have totally lost control of my 8 month old!!!! I want some kind of life!!!

[pevie]

I know this sounds a bit OTT but am feeling a bit desperate at the moment. Have posted on here numerous times before about all my LOs troubles - sicky, colicky, problems sleeping, wind, constipation, etc. At moment her main issue seems to be constipation but it has settled a little and she has done two good poos today. She also has a bit of a cold and so is a little unsettled from that. But basically the main problem is that she is screaming and cracking up everytime we try and do anything other than walk about with her in our arms or occasionally she'll sit and play for a while on the floor with her toys. She gets loads of attentiona and always has because of how worried we've been about her but I am now worried that she is refusing to do anything because she just wants us to be with her or play with her all the time. Daytime naps are torture wether in the car, pram or cot as she now screams whenever shes put down and I have to sing, rock, distract, etc to get her to calm down (which sometimes works, sometimes not) she gets about an hour altogether and then by bedtime is demented so complains all through this. She then arches her back and nuts me (I know it sounds extreme but it feels that way) when I am trying to rock her to sleep. I keep thinking she is uncomfortable but it would seem like coincidence that she would be fine up till this point and then start being uncomfortable when shes being put to sleep. We had previously got her to go down calm and awake so this is a real backward step. Then as night proceeds she wakes up after 40 mins and has to be rocked again. She then wakes for feeds another 2 or 3 times in the night and from about 4.30 on can be really difficult to put back down even though she is still v.tired. I am thinking that she may still have some discomfort, she certainly gets wind after feeds at times, but the fact that she is going bonkers every time we try to put her to sleep or in car, pram, etc. must be behavioural!!!!! Its making me feel quite aggressive and angry towards her although obviously I would never do anything!!!! I know I sound a bit mental at this point but I have managed to bring up a totally calm 3 year old who had a reasonable routine and sleeping habits so it cant all be me!!!!!!

Does she have reflux? The crying and the back arching ring bells for me.

Have you thought about taking her to a cranial osteopath?

same as what WanderingHolly sayd dd3 had acid reflux it was hell, HV kept saying it was a touch of colic - she didn't sleep during the day if you got her to nod off she would wake up screaming after minutes, she only didn't scream if she was held upright etc etc It was the worst 6 months of my life ever (worse than when I was suicidal because there was no joy in my baby). She got put on infant gaviscon at 6 months and it hugely hugely changed her althoug she never slept really well until I took her to see a cranial osteopath.

Eeek! Sounds like a nightmare. I have grumbly 8 month old too, but she's not bad at all compared to u. Tbh, I think she sounds like she's over tired... crying and getting all worked up cos she's so exhausted. Maybe u need to consider leaving her to cry it out on her own instead of rocking and feeding in the night etc. She needs to learn to self soothe. Sorry, probably doesn't sound awfully helpful. have u tried asking doc about sleep clinics etc?

I should have said that she has been seen by a paediatrician and reflux was the diagnosis. She then received various medications including gaviscon, ranitidine and omeprazole. None of these made a significant difference and so paed. said possibly not reflux and maybe just 'colic'. She did do lots of back arching after feeds and during night when younger and it did sound very much like reflux, but this has lessened over time,esp. after feeds, which makes me think reflux thing has improved!!! She has definately had some kind of physical problem but its now difficult to distinguish what is physical and what is behavioural. Chardonnay, we did try some kind of sleep training at one point as I felt she was overtired and it couldnt get much worse, thats when she got better at going down herself, and it helped a bit at night as she wasnt getting up so much at night. It didnt help much during day as even if she went to sleep she would wake up after 20 mins, half an hour so was still overtired. However, it started to slide again when she had a bad cough and constipation and we didnt feel we could leave her much. I guess we might need to do some kind of sleep training again but am always such a woose about it because of her history and not being sure if shes sore!!!! TBH she does sleep for longer periods at night now and can last up to 5 or 6 hours sometimes but its a bit up and down. It just seems like shes not as sore during day but getting her to sleep is much more of an issue, so I think its probably a bit about her history of discomfort combined with her being a bit older and pushing it a bit. I just want to enjoy my child!!!!!!!!!!

Okay then I def def def say get thee to a cranial osteopath it will be worth every penny. DD was a very bad sufferer even once the gaviscon did it's magic and whenever she woke up for her lunch lap (once I did finally get it established) she was foul!!!!!!!!!! I stupidly waited until she was nearly 4 to take her to see a cranial Osteopath as she would wake up sometimes 4 times per night for 4/5 nights on the trot, she had difficulty gettint to sleep etc. Honestly after the first treatment it was like having a different child!

My other 3 children were all excellent sleepers, slept through ridiculously early etc etc I think those months of pain from reflux did something and the cranial sorted it out. The cranial osteopath told me that it is the problem in the cranio whatever that caused the reflux problem which explains why they grow out of it.

HTH

It does sound a bit like reflux if it's happeneing every time she's laid flat?

Have you tried propping up the head end of the cot by putting 1 or two telephone directories under the two legs to raise the whole thing up (rather than the mattress itself?

I also vote for the cranial osteopath idea.

Can she crawl or cruise yet ? dd was problematic but improved when she could sit , then cruise (upright position made her reflux less of a problem). It also got compounded by acute separation anxiety from 5 months. Funnily she slept well though. Presumably you have her cot propped up, don't lie her flat to change etc. Coughs made matters much worse and even now (she's 6) she is prone to being sick with a cough which is a hang over form her reflux.

It does sound like silent reflux to me. I'd also consider a milk (or other) intolerance, but from the symptoms you've described I'd think it less likely than reflux. Is she breast or formula fed?

I'd also recommend trying a cranial osteopath though - it certainly can't hurt!

My daughter was quite similar in temperament to how you describe (she had silent reflux and was milk intolerant), but if it helps then you should know that she has grown out of it all now!

Thanks for ideas but have been to a cranial osteopath a number of times and it didnt make any discernable difference!!! Yes have propped up bed. Now put her on stomach to sleep and that has been helping her to sleep longer!!! I think separation anxiety is part of it, she hates going to other people. I think that one thing can exascerbate another. So separation anxiety and discomfort lead to lack of sleep and evern more misery and discomfort!!!! Just dont know how to break cycle. wish cranial osteopathy helped as seems to work for so many other people. Am basically hoping for a miracle!!! Am very confused about whole milk intolerance, allergy thing. She doesnt sound like milk allergy as poos are not v.soft, although does have lots of rumbling tummies, etc in night!! Keep hearing that milk intolerance doesnt really exist in babies. She is bf btw.

Milk intolerance affects around 7% of babies! Where on earth did you hear that it doesn't exist?!

I gave up eating dairy myself (also breastfeeding), and within a couple of weeks it was like having a different baby! It sounds like you've tried just about everything else, so maybe it's worth a go just in case?

I had heard that milk allergy exists but not intolerance as intolerance builds over time!!! Maybe not right. Did try cutting out dairy for a bit and didnt notice a difference but maybe wasnt strict enough. Paediatrician said if didnt notice difference within week unlikely to be this!!!! Am so confused by it all. Have given her little bits of dairy in her diet recently, eg.yoghurt and seen no huge difference, although she did seem to have a bad reaction when I gave her a cheese dish once. What were symptoms for your Lo?

Worst symptom was that she screamed pretty much constantly for 4 months. Also had diarrhoea (though didn't realise it was at the time, as had nothing to compare it to!), horrendous nappy rash that wouldn't shift, and was sick a lot. She wouldn't sleep (day or night) and we couldn't put her down without her screaming getting worse.

I'm concerned that you might have been landed with a bit of duff paed - he said it wasn't reflux just because she didn't respond to the meds he prescribed, and then went on to say that if there was no diff in a week of only reducing dairy, then it wasn't milk intolerance either . It takes 7-10 days for milk to clear completely from your/her system, so I wouldn't even expect to see a difference before that (we had some good days prior to that, but not consistently).

When you reintroduce dairy, there is a recommended order for introduction, as some things are more likely to affect than others. Yoghurt is the least likely to cause a reaction (along with fromage frais iirc), whilst cheese is a little lower down the list, so it is possible that she is reacting to some products worse than others.

We only realised that this was dd's problem when week 15 was the worst of her life, and after sobbing that she wasn't normal, my h/v asked if I'd had more dairy than normal, and I realised that I had.

Symptoms can be different for different children, and dd's paed did say that in some children the intolerance exhibits itself purely in terms of them being generally miserable!

Thaoks. See she doesnt seem to have loose stools, quite the opposite so not sure. But you definately right about duff paediatrician. We are asking for another one in new year. Feel so sad that her first year has been so blighted by this!! Terrible the last few days and nights again after having okay few days before christmas. Maybe is all rich food, chocolate I'm hsving.

Have you had her checked by a doctor? My dd screaned and screamed. She had cerebral pa;sy and it was muscle spasms hurting her.

The diet/ medical paths def. worth pursuing.

In the meantime, get yourself a sling, so she can sleep/ride on you while you get on with other things? Some babies just love love love slings - they completely relax into them

Try a different cranial osteopath they are all slightly different & it might take more than a few treatments to see any result.

As emmaagain suggests a sling might be comforting to her whilst allowing you to do a few things- poor you

May try dairy free diet again so can totally rule it out although dreading it!!!

I've thought about this a lot and the cranial I used for dd2 was really not very good when I used her as an osteopath (I had used others so I knew IYSWIM) the next time I needed cranial for the dds I got a recommendation of my then osteopath (I different person) and they did seem much better. I would say it is worth trying again especially if it is some months since the last time you tried. Even if you limit yourself to say 3 sessions, also make sure it is a recommended crainal osteopath.

I'm sorry it's been a such bleak time for you it is the pits having a miserable and non sleeping baby.

Thank you cargirl. Do you think that maybe your DD had grown out of her problems so it meant that by time saw osteopath, it helped to just sort sleep issues? Cos what worries me is that if we dont get to bottom of why its happening maybe osteopath wont work.. I took her to see two different ones in same practise, first one was v.sympathetic and seemed to know what she was talking about. It maybe helped congestion at time a little but didnt really impact on sleep. A few months later went to see differnet, much younger one and felt DD got much worse for a bit and then no difference. My DH was v.sceptical and he then said just stop going. However, I desperately need a miracle now so could look into whether there are any others in this area. She now seems to be straining all the time as if she wants to clear her bowel, even when has cleared it recently.

There's no need to dread going dairy free! I managed it for around 16/17 months (I'm still bf but dd outgrew the intolerance) and it really wasn't so bad. Only difficult if you eat out a lot really.

My dd had grown out of her acid reflux by the time I took her back to a cranial - she came off gaviscon at around a year old. She was delayed at independent sitting (11 months) & crawling which I put down to screaming and never doing floor time for so long in her life. She also poo'd frequently often getting up at night and stuff which also improved after the cranial treatment.

From memory the cranial I saw explained that the cause of the acid reflux hadn't been dealt with that the gaviscon stopped the pain but hadn't dealt with the cause and it was this that was still interfering with her sleep processes. Her sleep patterns had improved after she was 1ish then came and went but by the time she was nearly 4 I was ready to kill her! Obviously cranial only speeds up a process that would usually happen over time any way.

The cranial also diagnosed that dd had retained morro reflex (this should fade at about 6 weeks) and recommend that we saw a neuro developmental therapist. Which we have done (me knowing nothing about it) he ran lots of reflex tests which showed her reflexes were not where they should be for her age. Were still doing our course of treatment (stimulating/desensitising my doing very specific stokes with a fine painbrush!) I was very sceptical but within weeks ater the assessment and starting she learnt to run fast (instead of a side to side toddler waddle) and learn to ride her scooter. Also at the next session he retested her reflexes and I coule see the differences in her reactions - it was very very wierd. It has all calmed her down.

Sorry this has turned into an essay but I wanted to explain our journey with dd as it has taken us so long to get there! From what you said I would look at trying dairy free yourself and I would go to a cranial osteopath again be completely honest with them they will truthfully tell you after having a feel and dc reaction to treatment whether they think it is a cranial issue or not.

I saw a crap paedeatric (sp) register with dd first thing he told me was that she was overweight at 11 months because she was on the 98th centile errrr so is her height??? I never went back I was treating as if I was completely ignorant even though I told him was the centiles meant.

Read the thread, really interesting as didnt feel the reflux medication worked either. Also she used to have really green mucousy poos, but is now constipated. I thought that this might mean not dairy problem but saw somewhere recently that this can happen too!!!! Anyone else experienced constipation with their LO who had dairy probs?

God, a 'colicky' baby is really tough, isn't it? Your babies symptoms sound v similar to mine. She def has gas which makes her v uncomfortable, squirmy and screamy. She poos about every other day and it's always proceeded by real screaming and explosive farts! It's enough to make you want to weep when you've had a colicky baby for months.

My DD hates being put down too, unless I've already got her off to sleep on me. She wakes herself up at night by drawing her legs up and writhing. I know it's excess gas - I can hear it and feel it, and I suspect it's an allergy or perhaps an underdeveloped digestive system. I've tried colief and cranial osteopathy - I'd say the latter made me feel better, just to be listened to, and it temporarily eased her discomfort. I've tried dairy-free too, but only for a week. Think I need to be more organised and give it another go for longer. Just read the thread that Reindeer posted and it seems worth it.

I think the thing is, these babies need a lot of comfort and holding as moving around eases the wind. Then it gets habitual and they find it hard to self-settle, as it sounds like with your DD. But there's no way you can leave them to cry as they're obviously so distressed, so it's a bit of a no-win.

Hey, I guess we don't hear of colicky 2 year-olds - they will grow out of it. Hopefully we won't go barking in the meantime!