Feeling burnt out and frustrated

[Bizziee]

Going to apologise now for any swearing. It's 3.30am and I can't sleep because of my partners snoring!!

I'm really starting to question how in the fuck mum's cope with going back to work with a little one and a partner who is a nightmare sleeper. Two months ago we put lb in nursery, we've paid over 2k for him to be there and he's done on average, about 3 weeks because he's constantly being sent home and told he needs to take a PCR test. He has a cold. In fact he is on his 5th cold now since starting there and I'm really starting to think this isn't worth it. Partner catches every cold little one gets and is your typical bloody bloke about it and I honestly dread it more than my little one. He doesn't come to bed until really late so wakes me up. Then continues to keep me awake with his fucking snoring and jerking around because his own snoring is waking him up.

I'm supposed to be going for an interview at 11am this morning too and I'm really just wondering if I should even bother. I'm constantly running on nothing, I'm exhausted, paying for a nursery that's constantly sending little one home and constantly being kept awake at night with nowhere else to get a decent nights sleep I can't function like this, please help

That’s all so difficult to deal with and I definitely sympathize with all of it. The constant cycle of illness and even just the anxiety of knowing another one could be around the corner at any moment is awful.

For right now, is there another room or bed you can move to so you can at least get back to sleep? Or better yet, could you wake him and ask him to move?? That’s what I would do!

Good luck, I hope you can get some rest.

Easy solution, kick him out to another room so you can sleep. How selfish of him that he doesn't already do that knowing he's keeping you awake. And it will get better with your little one getting sick, hang in there. And go to the interview!

I went back to work in July and my son has had so much time off including 3 PCR tests! It does get better though. Your husband needs to be quieter when he comes to bed, as I find I'm not always woken up by snoring then. You should ask him to be more mindful when he comes to bed late. I sometimes go downstairs to sleep on the sofa if the snoring is really bad.

I really wish there was somewhere else for me to sleep but there isn't! I can't sleep on the sofa I've tried and I have kicked partner out plenty. I just wind up feeling bad because he is actually working and his job is very high stress. He is my world and he's incredibly considerate. Half the time he stays up late is so he doesn't keep me awake but of course, he is still waking me up! He only snores when he has a cold too. Fuuuuck, why is this all so hard!? I haven't known this much illness in all my life!

It honestly gets better. My son hasn't been off sick since mid December now touch wood. We're on a roll, not sure how long for though! Nurseries are germ factories so it's completely normal in the first few months to catch everything. Do you use ear plugs? They seem uncomfortable at first but you get used to them!

Exactly and this is what I've tried to argue with them about!! He is literally catching these colds from nursery lol but then I am the one that has to take time off work because they won't let me take him in anymore. I get that it's not nice having to look after a snotty baby and with the pandemic there are always covid concerns but it's not fucking covid!! Just last week they were telling me he's been clingy and had a slight temp but when I get home to properly check him over I discover that he is wearing 3 layers! His tshirt I sent him in and his long sleeved top that was in his bag over the tshirt as well as his thick jumper

I did get myself those wax ear plugs which are really quite amazing but then I can't hear my little one

We have a married couple of childminders who look after our son with a few other children. Very professional but a little more flexible with illness but they do insist on a negative PCR at times. If he's then well enough I can send him back in. I think nurseries tend to be more inflexible with these things, perhaps consider changing if it continues. If your son isn't waking in the night I would persevere with the ear plugs.

Thank you. I did used to take him to a childminder and she was lush. Just wanted him to be getting the most out of a nursery setting this time around but it's proving stressful. He still wakes up occasionally in the night but only once and then he's straight back down until the morning. Going to resign myself to the sofa now and hope I can drop off for a few hours. Thanks everyone

My DS went to nursery for the first time last June, even though it was summer he was then basically at home for 3 months with illnesses - then it just stopped! He has been one day only in the last 3.5 months. So you may be nearly at the end of this!
On sleep, neither us or the DC sleep well when ill/ stressed, we bought a cheap single mattress which we stash behind the sofa And when we need an undisturbed night one of us goes on that with the earplugs in. Its not ideal and I am hoping it will only be there for a year or so while they are small but life is so much harder when you are tired!!

That should say he has been OFF one day only!!

i don't see much here about what your "considerate" DH is doing to sort this.

you need to rest and focus on work/interview but have constantly broken sleep by DC getting up in the night (yes, even if it's only once, that's broken sleep and suggests YOU are always on call every night,while DH can expect you to deal with it 7 nights a week).. your DH is piling on the shit by snoring AND waking you up when he comes to bed...?

well the easy fixes are all on your DH to solve. either he comes to bed when you do, or he quietens the fuck down when he comes to bed later, or he stays on the sofa to sleep. waking you up every night when he comes to bed is unacceptable, and not considerate -why on earth are you putting up with this? does he not understand how disruptive he is?

second, why are you on call 100% of the time?

does your DH have "his" nights to wake up with baby, leaving you to safely put ear plugs in without the worryn that your DC wakes up and no one is attending? you need that balance, at least 1 or 2 nights a week, otherwise how are you going to balance it 50/50 when you go back to work?

what on earth is your DH doing to help, IN PRACTICAL terms? am i missing something?