Agitated 3 month old

[Quirks259]

Hi everyone,
Looking for a bit of help, reassurance or stories of your experiences with similar sort of behaviour. People I talk to about this either seem to not understand, think it's really odd behaviour or think it's not really an issue but it's driving me mad. So worried there's something wrong.

My baby is 3 months old and is pretty chilled. He's a happy, smiley and curious boy with plenty of interaction. He doesn't cry that much apart from the obvious, hungry, needs a change or hungry so fairly 'easy' to satisfy.

However, when I put him to bed in his moses basket at night he becomes so agitated. He's not crying exactly but is grunting, whinging and flailing himself around hitting the sides of his bed. He's always fed and freshly changed - at first I thought he was hungry so would feed him 4 or 5 times over the space of an hour or so but he would just fall asleep on me and then go back to his fidgeting the moment I put him down again. He does it when I put him down but he also does it in his sleep and wakes himself up thumping the sides of his basket. He's either awake or half asleep xhen he's doing this.

This started from when he was about 6 weeks old and he had stopped doing it but it's started up again. Needless to say it's driving me insane as I can't sleep or it wakes me up during the night and it's oreventing me from establishing a proper bedtime for him as this can last a long time and he won't relax until the early hours of the morning. I just don't know what's wrong. Is he in pain, uncomfortable, unhappy?? He's not crying but this fidgeting and fussing seems like he's so distressed and if he starts his night like it, he can't seem to settle into a peaceful, restful, deep sleep and he's exhausted the next day.

Also worth mentioning that he can also have nightmares and wails or screams in his sleep that wakes him up and makes him terrified to go back to sleep. I took him to a osteopath but that didn't really do anything and the GP didn't really understand or see it as a problem. Does anyone have any advice or experience with a similar problem? He's so old to start swaddling and maybe it's too late to invest in a new bed. He sleeps in his moses basket on the floor next to our bed. I can rarely get him to nap in the basket during the day but he slept in it day and night in the living room or in our bedroom in his early weeks.

Any thoughts or remedies that can solve this restlessness/fidgeting/fussing/agitation? It's driving me to desperation!

Thanks

Mine does this if he's on his back. Then works himself up quickly to inconsolable crying. He's just 4 months now. For the first two months he basically slept on my chest. Swaddling didn't work.

It might not be for you, I know it's not for everyone. But I put mine to sleep on his front. He sleeps long and peacefully in a next-to-me crib. If he's ever unsettled, I bring him into bed with me.

Very much an individual call to make where that's concerned though. But we both sleep plenty.

Ah thank you for the suggestion Grombles. It sounds like you're going through the same as me, I'm sorry you've been struggling with that too but it's reassuring that you get your little one to sleep in your bed too. I've taken to doing this when he's unsettled but was concerned about setting him up with bad habits.

I'll see about lying him on his front, not sure he'll enjoy that as he might associate it with the gymnastics of tummy time!

Thanks again!

Sounds fairly normal. Is he getting enough sleep in the day? Night terrors are usually caused by over tiredness. If he won’t sleep in the Moses basket in the day then maybe use the pram or sling to make sure he’s getting enough daytime sleep

@Quirks259

I think this young you shouldn't worry about bad habits and just prioritise your sleep.

Definitely research the recommendations regarding SIDS as a lot of people are uncomfortable putting their babies to sleep on their front, although this was the norm for many years.

I started by putting him down to nap in the day on his front for the first week when I could watch him. I saw that his neck and head control was very good and he'd lift his head and turn to get comfortable so I was reassured he was ok. I felt that all the other risk factors were safely ticked off. But we're all comfortable with different things. My boy sleeps a dream now. 12 hours a night with 2 or 3 feeds. He's also a happier baby in the day now.

It's normal for most babies to struggle to sleep on their backs, especially when young. They have a strong Moro reflex and some have it stronger than others. My wee boy just flails about like mad as though he's falling or drowning. If he doesn't work himself up to cry, he'll just flail about and smack his arms all over the place, smacking himself in the face and everything. And like you, I can't sleep through him flailing and grunting just waiting for him to start crying.

Hope you get some better sleep soon

Thanks for your comments and support. In the middle of the night, unsure of how to settle your LO, it can feel pretty lonely and you ask yourself a million questions.

Very grateful to have found mumsnet!! 😊