Anxious about baby milestones - help

[honeypotbaby]

Cross post because I'm just an anxious mess.

Hi, I am so worried about my baby's development and can't stop thinking about it. I have anxiety that is treated with medication & am also under perinatal mental health team for it, but I need to know whether I have a serious cause for concern or whether it's me overthinking - please don't read and run. This will be long but I'm just consumed with it & would really appreciate thoughts. I am starting to get frustrated at her for not meeting certain milestones and comparing her which I know is not good.

So far baby:

• love interacting with people, she smiles and laughs, likes playing peekaboo, is really chilled with others and is very easily excitable especially when she sees other babies.

• she is so fascinated and curious about everything and everyone around her. People always comment on how curious she is.

• she is very vocal but doesn't not say "bababa" yet. She says consonant sounds which occasionally sound like words but I don't know if this is babbling because she does not dadada etc. she says things like "ayayayaya" and "awebu" and "opi"

• she keeps squealing/screeching/squeaking now that she's hit 7 months.

• she loves food and eating and dislikes milk.

• love standing and can stand holding onto something for a tiny bit but does not walk yet or stand by herself.

Why I am worried:

• she can't roll back to tummy. She's nearly there but can't do the last propel. She also never rolls tummy to back despite able to do it since 4 months.

• she can't withstand being on her tummy for long periods of time. She's fairly strong but just doesn't like it.

• she doesn't crawl and is not mobile to get from A to B yet.

• she used to respond to her name a lot at 6 months but now she hardly responds when I call her. Sometimes she does. She responds more to my hubby. At baby class a lady had to call her twice before she looked round.

• I don't know if she mimics me. When She sees me laughing she also laughs, when I smile she smiles, if I touch an object she touches the object after me, but she doesn't stick her tongue out if I do it or pull the same faces as me. Is this still mimicking?

I keep thinking that she will have autism or something, I know it's not the end of the world if she does but I have health anxiety so everything feels like the end of the world for me. HV keeps saying she's doing really well but I can't let these thoughts go.

Sorry forgot to add that she turned 7 months 2 days ago

They are all so different.
It's hard when you read what they ' should ' be doing on the internet

My first didn't babble "baba mamamama" etc until 10-11 months.
She's fine
She also didn't crawl until 12.5 months again she's fine

My second is 7.5 months and has never rolled over . 🤦‍♀️🙈 She is sitting up by herself but she also won't stand and can't bear much weight on her legs yet
She isn't babbling ' bababa mamamama etc' but she is vocal, smiles and laughs, makes eye contact and is absolutely fine . She also screeches at the top of her voice haha . She doesn't respond to her name but does to noises when she feels like it. My almost six year old doesn't respond to her name most of the time hah
She sounds fine .

Also they don't tend to like tummy time
I wouldn't like it if someone layed me like that and I had to use my muscles 🤣

She sounds like she is doing all the right things for her age group. Try to remember that milestones have a wide age range as all babies develop differently and at their own pace.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

Both mine were slow on the movement side and didn't crawl until 11 months. They both hated being on the floor on their tummies too.

A lot of babies learn a skill like rolling over and then don't do it again until they really need to:

With love, this is your anxiety talking and I'm sure all of us saying it's normal won't help for long. Perhaps worth chatting to your doctor about the anxiety and how current treatment isn't helping much.

Oh yes that's it DD also makes a lot of eye contact so much that people comment on it so in that respect she is okay, I know babies are different but it stresses me out when babies are waving and crawling already and mine just isn't

@honeypotbaby

Oh yes that's it DD also makes a lot of eye contact so much that people comment on it so in that respect she is okay, I know babies are different but it stresses me out when babies are waving and crawling already and mine just isn't

I remember that with my first. It's ok though. She will do some things sooner than other babies.

My daughter was particularly slow on the movement front, but her speech is like nothing I've heard on a 2 year old!

I do hope so. I feel like my anxiety has been under control but now it's suddenly become worse that she's getting older and expected to do these things. Not only that but my nephew was recently diagnosed with mild autism, he was very different to my DD as a baby but at the same time it makes me feel even more anxious about it.

It's hard to control anxiety and spiralling thoughts!

Mine is 1. She only started crawling at 11m. She doesn't pull herself up yet or try to walk when standing.
She doesn't wave. She claps but doesn't wave.

She doesn't shut up babbling but hasn't said a single real word

She barely rolled back in the day.

Every baby is so so so so different, but so hard not to compare to others!

Playing peekaboo, baba sounds, standing holding on, copying and crawling are all 9 month milestones. It’s not surprising that a 7 month old isn’t yet doing most of these and the fact she’s doing some is great. Waving is on the 1 year checklist. And also these things are just guides, some babies will be quicker (like yours with peekaboo) and others will take a bit longer. Your baby also does respond to her name, no child will ever respond 100% of the time, so get used to that! If you think she can’t roll, which is different than she can but chooses not, then maybe chat to your HV but given your baby is standing I’d be inclined to think there’s nothing wrong with her gross motor skills. One of mine hated tummy time, barely rolled, never crawled but walked at 9 months so clearly there was nothing wrong! Your baby will probably be the same.

I think the milestone lists you've found are on the ambitious side, and that's not going to help your anxiety. From the Ages and Stages Questionnaires (ASQs, what the HVs use to evaluate development), 'bababa, mamama' babbling starts to appear around 8 months for a few babies, but 9 or 10 months is more common, and that's ages away yet in terms of baby development. My daughter clapped at 7 months, but she was the first in the group to do so –again the ASQs suggest 9 or 10 months is more common, and that's for baby to do one thing like waving or clapping or hiding their face for peekaboo, not all of them.

The ASQs don't include crawling as a milestone, but the WHO did a study of various gross motor milestones. At seven months, fewer than 1 in 4 babies are crawling – so the vast majority aren't. About half of babies start between 7.5 and 9.5 months, but the range of normal development stretches out past a year, again absolutely loads of time.

The other thing to remember is that most babies do a few things a bit early, a lot of things about the average time, and a few things on the late side. In most cases, neither the 'early' nor the 'late' mean much long term – it just reflects baby's priorities at the time. It sounds like your daughter is on the early side for standing, so perhaps she's more focused on that than rolling.

She sounds delightful and absolutely fine.

Try to remember that babies are all different. The milestones are just a general guide of averages. My neighbour's ds didn't talk at all until he was three, for instance. Some work out how to crawl early, some bottom shuffle and never crawl at all, some just can't be bothered. Some stand really soon, some barely stand up at all until they are ready to walk and then they are off like lightning.

Tummy time is a new 'thing' now. I never did it with my dd and it hasn't stopped her getting a degree.

Try not to worry, and it never does any good comparing your dc with others, because as I said before, they are all different and none of them have read the 'developmental stages' books!

She sounds absolutely fine. I might wonder whether she has a touch of glue ear right now to explain her not responding to her name as consistently as she used to

Thanks everyone for the reality check - deffo think it's my anxiety playing up then. And I really do need to stop comparing her to other babies, having been compared to others my entire life I know how much damage it can do. I shall encourage her to do what she can do best x

I had similar worries to you with my first and I have to say I regret focusing so much on milestones when I could have just have been enjoying playing with my baby. I'm now off with my second (who's 6 months) she can't roll over and she doesn't really like tummy time but I know there's nothing to worry about as she's developing fine. I'm just enjoying her. Hopefully you can start to relax and do the same x

She sounds like my DS was at that age. He was in late side for every single gross motor milestone. Couldn't sit up reliably until well past 8 months and didn't walk until 17 months. Didn't point or wave until well past 15 months. I was worried and spent a lot of time googling.

He's 2 now and absolutely fine. His speech, fine motor skills and problem solving are way ahead of the ASQ. He's incredibly sociable. I'm no longer worried.

He's just not a physical child at all. Not one for climbing on the furniture, ride on toys etc. I don't think I'm raising a future Olympian, put it that way. They are all different.

If you read around you'll see the expectations aren't really expectations but markers that in combination MAY or MAY NOT indicate neuro a typical behaviour. Worrying won't get you anywhere unfortunately rolling wise have you watched you tube videos on how to encourage them?

I think our brains are like a maze. Some people get to the centre quick, others explore all the avenues and sometimes make u turns. She'll get there eventually. My baby chose to explore the babbling avenue before the physical one as an example xx

I think your anxiety is making you worried when your baby is actually fine developmentally. Even if she is late in one area it doesn't necessarily mean there's a long term issue. My older daughter never crawled, bum shuffled near to her 1st birthday, didn't pull herself up till 16 months or walk till 18 months. The HV got us referred to a physio. She's 6 now and can swim, ride a bike with gears and ski. My brother didn't speak till he was 3 and then went to grammar school and got a degree and a good career.

Thank you all - I'm glad I posted this as I do think it's my anxiety. I also spoke to my psychiatrist who thinks the same, so it's a case of remembering to use the techniques I learned in therapy to help with these bouts, although it can become more difficult to remember to do so nowadays as I'm so busy with DD!

In other news, DD is starting to do a little half wave when we wave hello or bye to her! How cute

Hey, i am having the same thoughs about my baby whos just turned 7
months. how is your baby getting on now? x