Bedtime - where am i going wrong?

[KL92xxxx]

Asking for advice please. I wrote on here not long ago but can’t find the thread. My 22mo is taking hours to go to sleep at night. This is all new in the last 5-6 weeks. Whilst he’s never been a good sleeper he used to take 30ish minutes to go to sleep at bedtime.

He wakes around 7-8am, he naps for usually 1hr around 12:30-1pm. We’ve tried an array of different timings for bed in the last month none of which have made any difference. We’ve tried 7pm and anything up to 9pm, it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

He has a consistent bedtime routine. We wind down, read books, but when it comes to lights out he can’t calm down, he’s still in day time mode. He is never really upset, just loud and almost hyperactive. We can’t leave him in his cot as he screams the house down. He wants us in the room with him, we try to not say anything to him and we pretend to be a sleep, makes no difference. It can take anywhere from 1-3 hours for him to sleep. I can’t remember the last time he was asleep before 9. I wouldn’t even mind if he slept through once he was asleep but he still wakes 2-3 times a night anyway.

Dropping his nap doesn’t work, whilst he falls asleep quicker he wakes up all night long. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, i feel like we’re missing something for bedtime to be such an ordeal.

Have you tried a later bedrime?

@Fallagain

Have you tried a later bedrime?

We’ve tried everything from 7pm - 9pm in the last few weeks. Doesn’t seem to make much difference.

Try earlier

So if you put him to bed closer to 9pm, does it then take until 11? Or less time?

We had a transition period of a few months at around your stage where our DC couldn't quite comfortably drop his daytime nap, but would then take ages to get to sleep (never before 9pm, sometimes 10 or 11). As soon as he turned 2, he organically dropped the daytime nap and now does 8pm - 8am which we are delighted with (asleep within 10 minutes of getting his bottle). We got night terrors for a few weeks btw where he was overtired initially before they dissipated completed. No advice other than it may just sort itself out in the next couple of months. In the meantime, download something good on your phone to watch with earphones in while you're waiting for him to drop off.

Could he be getting his molars?

Have you had a good look at his diet? Is he hungry? Cold? Eating something that isn't agreeing with him?

Are they the same for your partner? My DD (18 months) is a pain in the arse for me, at least an hour of mucking around before I can get her down. With my DH it’s 10-15 minutes. I am still breastfeeding and my DH has been a SAHP since she was 7 months, so we assume it’s a combination of the potential of more milk and missing me during the day that causes my issues.

This is a tough time coming up to and around two. So much development for them. DD 25 months here, if she has a nap won't sleep until 10.30 / 11pm.

Although no nap today but more downtime with books and tv, and only just gone to sleep (9pm) , even though at dinner she was dozy. It seems to give her a second wind.

We get out to do things most days and walk on the school run for her older sibling. Do lots of different things at home and honestly I'm worn out by it. She usually wakes about 7.45 though as I leave her to last as she won't eat breakfast first thing. Big bro was similar as I remember someone telling me they start sleeping better at age 2 but it was more like age 3 here, once naps were totally gone.

So DD seems to have 11 hours sleep a day.

If it helps we have the same. He has a 2,5hr nap at the nursery (sometimes 1,5hr) and he still only goes to bed at 9-10pm. But I quite enjoy the evenings with him, we do activities at home and outside if the weather is good. I make sure he is well fed and although he wakes up at night as well, he normally goes back to sleep with a pat or a hug.
I just think it will pass. I'd not drop a nap for a child till they are over 3 (unless they drop the nap themselves). Sleep is important (but I do acknowledge it is important for us parents too :-D ).

Does he do enough things outside during the day? I know that's difficult in some settings (like nursery) but maybe an hour at the playground after work or a walk in the filed/woods/outside, scooter, bicycle...something like that could help to get the energy out of him.

My dd is the same age. She's always been a night-owl and we've always let her lead.

Recently, if I'm on my own with her of an evening (most of the time) I've been taking her to bed at 9. Occasionally she'll fall asleep quickly, usually it's an hour or two before she gives up. She usually has a nap on the afternoon which can be between 1 and 3 hours. Trying to shorten it is pointless. Her molars have been coming through.

Tonight is the second night she's fallen asleep before 8! Yesterday she napped for ten mins, then went on a walk at 6, after which she was exhausted! Today she had a brief nap this morning but nothing else.

Tomorrow will probably be back to the usual, but for now I'm taking it as a win.

Thanks everyone. I’m off work this week so we lay in until 9am as we were all very tired. I saw it as an opportunity to have a no nap day and a very early (for him) bedtime and see how things pan out. We’ve been to soft play, grandparents and for a huge walk. He was fast asleep for 7:30(!!!) after a 20 minute bedtime so now let’s hope he stays settled.