Toddler tantrums over specific toy

[Pigsinanklets]

My DS is 2 and loves playing with Duplo/building blocks, he asks to play with them every day however, he turns into a demon whenever they come out - he screams, cries in frustration, wants me to build everything for him but then gets annoyed if I don't build it in the exact way that he wants etc. It drives me insane.

I can no longer look at a Duplo set without it sending shivers down my spine.

Anyone else's toddler like this? He will play beautifully with everything else. It's just blocks and I'm now considering binning the lot as it just creates so much stress.

Any tips please for managing his frustration? Will he just get over it/the hang of it eventually?

The current rule is if he cries whilst playing with blocks, we have to tidy them away but I do feel awful as he really loves them. Argh!

I’d put them away in a high up cupboard and try him again with them in 6 months time. If he’s playing nicely with all his other toys, there’s no sense stressing yourself out with the Duplo if it’s just causing problems.

The thing with blocks is that it takes some children a while before they have the dexterity to be able to build. My DS is kind of similar; he loves playing with his train tracks and blocks and marble runs but he's not quite able to build brilliantly with them yet. He'll get so far and then it'll fall over or he'll push another buck down to hard and make the tower break or he just doesn't have the patience. I end up creating something for him that he can play with for a bit. I seem to be building a new marble run daily, atm!

So it sounds as though he's frustrated, because he perhaps has a vision of what he's trying to make but just can't build it himself yet. Have you thought about reducing the number of blocks he has? Maybe if he gets used to building smaller structures he'll be more confident when more blocks are introduced?

DD - a little younger than your DS - got this way about a particular board game. It would be the first thing she requested. Although she used to play it beautifully her play routine had descended into a hoarding exercise. She would hold favourite pieces and not share them with other players (essential for the game). I tried letting her free play with it but she would insist we sit there with her and play 'properly'. It always ended in tears as it's impossible to both play the game and allow her to hold half the stuff 🙈

One night I just put it away in another room and the next time she asked we looked about briefly and then said it was lost. She moved on quickly. It might get found again at some point or we'll just hand it on - no big deal.

Just reflecting on PPs post about dexterity. Block play is brilliant but it's not the only way to build functional fine & gross motor skills. If the emotional cost is too high focus on other things for now - like mark making or play doh.

When you reintroduce them you might do it around a specific, quite structured task, eg print some pictures of simple block towers or colour patterns and help him to build ones that match. This will help him establish new play routines.

Also, if it's only duplo that's like this you can just use normal wooden blocks or magnatiles for the same developmental support, they don't need to have all the toys all the time 🙂

Not duplo but my almost 2 year old DD would get like this with crayons! It seemed so bizarre as she plays so calmly with everything else and would play nicely with the crayons for about 15 minutes and then would get so stimulated by them that she would get angry and cry.

We did find a solution but it did take some coordination. We realised she was getting over stimulated because she didn't always have access to them so they were super exclusive to her. So instead of just giving free range we "made them appear" at certain times - so for instance they would be on her table when she had finished dinner and then she could have them until bedtime. We gradually built this up so she would get them at earlier points in the day until she could cope. She now plays beautifully with them and doesn't mind if we put them away for a bit. I think she was just getting too excited when we "presented" them to her as a limited time thing.

Maybe try a smaller selection of blocks available more frequently and see if it helps? I felt awful hiding the crayons to avoid the meltdowns but at the time it was just so stressful and I constantly wished I'd never introduced them in the first place.

I'd put them away for a while.

Everything is a phase, he will get over it eventually.