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Parenting

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Original poster

bedtime for 2 kids - 2 years age gap

21 replies

Hopitihop · 17/01/2022 20:21

Just that really. How I could put two kids to bed at night or to nap in the afternoon at the same time?

DC Number 2 is coming in a few months and I can't think of how it will work out if DH is not around?

He will certainly be away during their lunch nap and possibly at bed time as well.

At the moment we have a very strict routine with my 22 month old, nap at 12.30-2.30pm and bedtime at 7pm.

How can I put 2 kids to nap at 12.30pm in different rooms? And as I can't duplicate myself this is impossible by default.

However, even if they sleep slightly altered times, how do I let's say put to nap DC1 while I have DC2 at home by myself?

DC1 is a toddler that hates sleeps, we put her to bed and it takes her around 30min to sleep in complete silence and darkness. Otherwise she just won't sleep. She was like that as a newborn as well. Never managed to sleep in a crib or cot. We were co sleeping for 4 months and then moved her in her room and slept with her and then we gradually left her sleep by herself.

So, would could I do? How to put DC1 to sleep while another baby cries, moves, babbles etc. ? And I can't leave DC2 unattended and abandoned in his crib for an hour until DC1 is asleep....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Enko · 17/01/2022 20:25

To begin with i would work on g
Teaching dc1 to go to sleep on their own. In practice I found when no 2 (and 3 and 4) came along i got stricter with what I woild do for sleep abd when they would sleep. Dc2 3 and 4 also learned to sleep on their own far sooner than dd1 did as like you say you cant be two places at once.

For now though before no 2 arrives work on reducing how much settling with you no 1 needs

RedCandyApple · 17/01/2022 20:25

Sorry I’m confused why do they need to be put in different rooms? I’m a lone parent so never had a partner from the start not sure why he needs to be there?

WaterBottle123 · 17/01/2022 20:26

Well by the time your baby has a regular, long lunchtime nap your tot will have dropped theirs. Rest of time, baby sleeps in sling while you attend to tot, transfer to crib.

Don't overthink it though, tot may even have dropped nap by the time baby comes.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

gogohm · 17/01/2022 20:29

My the time dc2 gets to strict naps dc1 won't be napping.

HardbackWriter · 17/01/2022 20:30

The short answer is that you'll find a way that works for you because you'll have to! I would guess from your description that you'll end up holding the baby while DC1 goes to sleep and they'll drift off too, since you'll be holding them in a dark and silent room for half an hour. If you're lucky you'll then be able to put them down! But maybe things will change in another way that you can't yet see. But I promise you will find a way, and the first few times it'll feel like an impossible palaver and then after a while you'll wonder why you worried! It'll change over time, too - when DC2 was a newborn I used to wear him in the sling while I put DC1 to bed, now DC2 is nearly one and I put him to bed first and let DC1 (who's now 3) watch In The Night Garden while I do that. We've gone through a few other configurations in the last year - one or other of them being held, a (dreadful, sleepless!) period where they were both in bed with me, etc. DS1 has 'helped' me put DS2 down for a nap for months now, and DS2 has basically learned to ignore his very loud brother. It just sort of happens - some nights it's a disaster but everyone is always asleep at some point... Good luck, congratulations on the new baby and don't worry!

HardbackWriter · 17/01/2022 20:33

@RedCandyApple

Sorry I’m confused why do they need to be put in different rooms? I’m a lone parent so never had a partner from the start not sure why he needs to be there?

Surely most people have a baby and a toddler sibling in separate rooms to begin with, even if they eventually move them into the same one, because the baby's in with a parent and the toddler isn't?

RedCandyApple · 17/01/2022 20:36

The same way single parents with multiple children manage? I have two born a test a part and this was never a big issue

RedCandyApple · 17/01/2022 20:36

Test should be year*!

MotherOfCrocodiles · 17/01/2022 20:37

Similar to hardback writer:

When dc2 was tiny: dc2 in bouncer during dc1 normal routine
When dc2 old enough for bedtime routine (one ish?), dc1 sat with us watching Peppi nana quietly on my phone.

In times of dire screaminess (dc2 about six weeks old?) my mum sometimes came over and held dc2 while I did dc1 bedtime.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 17/01/2022 20:38

@RedCandyApple if it was so easy why not tell the op how you did it, she's perfectly reasonably asking for some strategies

HardbackWriter · 17/01/2022 20:41

@RedCandyApple

The same way single parents with multiple children manage? I have two born a test a part and this was never a big issue

I don't really know why you're being so unpleasant to the OP - she's asked a question, politely and clearly because she's a bit anxious about it. There were quite a few things that worried me before I had my second because I just couldn't imagine how they'd work - then he was here, and they just did. But I don't think it's so strange to wonder beforehand.

Rno3gfr · 17/01/2022 20:43

I have to point out too that a lot changes with nap times come age 2. Your first child may not even be in the same routine by the time the baby comes. My child stopped napping regularly by age 2.5 (he hated his sleep too).

RedCandyApple · 17/01/2022 20:46

Unpleasant can’t see where I’ve been unpleasant, Just saying plenty of parents manage this and it’s not something to get worked up about? Downstairs they can nap in same room, can’t see why this is a problem? Bedtime I coslept with my toddler and baby in cot when they were little but I can see that wouldn’t work for everyone but like I said I’m single so was just me, but could always move the toddler once they fall asleep.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 17/01/2022 20:46

Following with interest. I've just had the same conversation with DH. If all goes well DC2 will arrive when DC1 is around 2.5

HardbackWriter · 17/01/2022 20:48

Yeah, we had a fairly similar gap and I never had a period where they both napped because DS1 gave up his nap when I was heavily pregnant (sigh). I have had one day ever when they both fell asleep for a nap and I napped too and it was all absolute bliss until it turned out that the reason DS1 was so tired was that he had Covid...!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/01/2022 20:52

Your first won't be napping for much longer I'd imagine.

In your shoes I'd put the newborn in whatever they will be sleeping in the living room in, take 2yo through to their room and tuck them in then come back and sit with the newborn in the living room. The newborn shouldn't be napping away from you.

Same at bedtime. 2yo to bed then stay up with the newborn sleeping near you until you go to bed.

Original poster

Hopitihop · 17/01/2022 21:04

Thank you all for the responses, it's much appreciated.

I really hope my DC1 will stop napping soon because I can't think of leaving the newborn in the leaving room alone to put DC1 to sleep.

Unfortunately, DC1 is a difficult toddler... not one that I can put in a room and in seconds I can be downstairs with the newborn.

On the other hand, even if DC1 is not napping then would I just leave DC1 unsupervised at the age of 2.5 while I get baby to nap, which may take another 30'?

At the moment my 22month old is a very active one, today she painted our sofa !!!! As she is now, I can't leave her from my eyesight for 5mins as she will do whatever she shouldn't, and she knows it.

I don't know if by 2.5 they become angels though :-D

As for sleeping in separate rooms, my DC1 is very light sleeper. So, even when the newborn stage passes and DC2 can sleep away from me, then I would still imagine that he will wake through the night for the first year or so. So how could that happen with DC1 in the same room?

OP posts:

EcoCustard · 17/01/2022 21:06

I would start working on getting your eldest to self settle to sleep. Also Their nap times may have changed by the time baby arrives and baby will have a different routine to start. When DH worked away I would either feed and hold baby whilst I read and settled Dc2 & Dc1 ( had 3 under 3 then). Youngest would either sleep or I would put in bouncer, story and cuddles then settle them to sleep. Sometimes I would have to sit outside their room with the baby whilst they settled to sleep.

However some nights baby would cry, it would disturb the elder two and go tits up, it was a little chaotic but everyone got to sleep eventually. I did put them in the pushchair and baby in sling some evenings in the warmer months in desperation and walk the dogs, they would eventually fall asleep and on return transfer them to bed.
Baby never left unattended either on me, or in bouncer in siblings room. Dc3 was 18 months when Dc4 arrived and still napped (unlike siblings) she would nap either in her buggy, or on the sofa, occasionally in her bed (didn’t like cot) and the baby if napping would be in bouncer or buggy or on me in the carrier.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 17/01/2022 21:11

My youngest would just nap in a sling/pram whilst out entertaining the baby! Older one I would just do sleep routine with baby and then he’s fall asleep in cot… annoyingly baby didn’t sleep at same time until 14 months old!

EcoCustard · 17/01/2022 21:12

Dc4 is 2.5 and no angel yet .
I will add mine shared bedrooms and all developed an ability to sleep through their younger siblings crying and being unsettled. Only been disturbed a few times with teething or illness and quickly settled themselves when I took youngest out of the room.

Namechangedforspooky · 17/01/2022 21:16

Both mine dropped their naps around 2. Even if it’s a bit older than that the baby won’t be having a long lunchtime nap until probably close to when your older one is 3 so I think you’ll be ok .
The older one just adapts. I had a bigger gap but my eldest had to learn to self settle very quickly as there was often only one parent around at bedtime because of work

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