This is probably just my anxiety speaking due to the process of applying for my son's primary school, but I would really appreciate some advice from others who may have been through something similar.
My son turned 4 in the autumn, and will be due to start P1 in August this year. He is very excited about starting primary school as lots of his friends from his nursery class went last year, but I feel terrified he's not ready yet.
For starters, I'm worried about his size. He's tiny. Just under the 2nd centile for height, he's the smallest in his nursery class (ages 3 and 4, so there are just-turned 3 year olds in his class who are taller than him). I know his size shouldn't make a difference, and someone has to be the smallest in the class, but I do worry that his littleness might make him a target for bullies, or that he'll be overlooked or something. I can't even explain fully why I'm worried about his size, I just am. (I am going to ask for him to be reviewed by the GP as neither me or his dad are particularly short, we're both pretty average heights so I'm worried there's something going on for our son to be so short.)
I'm also worried that although generally he's pretty good at going to the toilet, he can go through phases of having several accidents a day for a week or two. Quite often he says he just forgets to go, or he doesn't realise he needs to go until it's too late then he can't hold on. Or he thinks it's just a fart but it's not. I honestly worry that it he has an accident at school he won't be able to clean himself up properly and no one will be there to help him and it'll be horrible for him. I know there's still 8 months before school starts, so we're doing our best to work on it, but what if it's still happening regularly when it's time for him to go to school? It's been happening on and off since he was potty trained so I can't see it completely resolving before the summer.
Another concern I've got is that, despite our very best efforts, he doesn't really know his letters and isn't completely sure of his numbers. He can count to 20, although more often than not he misses out 13 and 15, so we're trying our best to help him remember those.
He can barely remember more than 8 letters. We've got flash cards and try to make games out of it, and I know they do games with letters and numbers at nursery, but it just doesn't seem to be sticking. He seems to have no interest at all. My mum says all of her five kids knew the alphabet before starting school, and apparently we could read and write basic words (dog, cat, ball etc) so speaking to her just leaves me feeling more worried something is wrong with my son.
I think he's intelligent in that if he's interested in something he will want to know everything about it. He loves dinosaurs, volcanoes, space... He can recognise and name 20 dinosaurs, or reel off fact after fact about the planets and stars. He can recognise different constellations (we go stargazing every time it's clear) and can name the phases of the moon and he has a really good understanding of why the moon changes shape, why we get seasons and night and day etc. But if he's not interested in something he just switches off. When we try to make games out of letters and numbers he just says it's boring and gets distracted and starts getting silly (usually every answer becomes poo-poo or wee-wee).
He's extremely active. I imagine he's like most four year olds in that he cannot sit still for more than about 5 minutes. Even getting him to sit down in his chair to eat his dinner is a challenge as he just wants to be up bouncing or running around. He won't even sit still watch TV (we only let him have limited screen time, usually none through the week and just an hour or two at the weekend to give us a break) he'll be bouncing or dancing or fidgeting around, or balancing upside down on his head on the sofa etc. I worry how he'll cope in a classroom where he'll be expected to sit for lessons. He needs at least two hours every day running around outside or he starts getting silly, over-excited and argumentative. I worry that if he can't sit attentively for lessons at school he'll just be labelled as a trouble maker or a bad kid, and I really don't think he is!
He is the most loving wee soul, and I think he's got a fantastic personality. Of course I would say that as his mum, but I've been told by nursery staff and friends and family that he is always very polite and he loves helping others. He loves it when some of the younger kids move up into his class at nursery and the nursery staff always say he's the first to make friends with the new children and help them transition to his room. He's very outgoing and talks and talks and talks. He never stops asking questions and will chatter away with anyone and everyone.
Sorry this is such an essay! I'm just so anxious about him starting school after the summer. I'm sure many mums have had similar concerns so please help reassure me! Or maybe you think he isn't ready, in which case if you think I should defer for a term then I would love to hear that too!
Thank you!