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Other parent is so unhelpful.

3 replies

TwinMumKM · 17/01/2022 06:51

My twin’s father blows in and out of their lives. He saw them on Christmas for 10 minutes, gave them a pile of presents, and hasn’t seen them since. I feel like just cutting ties , and my friends say I should. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t want my kids to miss out on having a dad in their lives. The thing that makes the situation even more hard to swallow is that he sees his ex’s three children (one of whom is his child). This ex is a user who has had relationships with a few of his friends. And when she is single she asks him for help. I have been allowing him to pick the twins up whenever he wanted to , to spend time with them. They can go weeks without hearing from him. So basically I’m just looking for advice from people who don’t know me personally. How would you handle a situation like this? Have you been through something similar? Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 17/01/2022 06:55

I think your friends might have a point. Your twins don't really have dad in their lives as he's constantly letting them down.

Antsgomarching · 17/01/2022 07:26

It’s complicated because if you cut him out you may find the twins later on buy into a narrative where you prevented them from seeing their dad. If he is allowed to carry on he’ll hurt them with disappointment. If it were me I’d leave the door open. It’ll hurt them but they will know what he is quickly, you may find later on they decide for themselves not to bother.

How old are they?

TwinMumKM · 17/01/2022 07:31

They are almost 4 years old. So still very young. But they loved seeing him for the short times that they did. I think he knows I’m a soft touch, and knows I will leave the door open. I just worry about the future and messing up the twins mental health. His ex prevented him from seeing his other son for two years, and as a result he knows he can’t get away with anything with her. It’s funny how the mean people get more respect than the nicer ones 🤷‍♀️.

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