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Original poster

Pressure to start toilet training 18month old. Ideas of things to say....

31 replies

lorisparkle · 26/12/2007 22:24

I personally don't think my 18 month old is ready but we went to see my DH Nan and she said 'have you got DS1 clean yet or is he still in a nappy', then my SIL sent a pack of pants for DS1 for Christmas. I can feel the pressure starting from my DH side already and need some really good things to say and a bit of support and reassurance that I am doing the right thing in waiting. BTW we will have a DC2 in April and my plan is not to really consider toilet training till after the baby is born and the warmer weather arrives and only then if he seems ready to me.

Any good responses gratefully received!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

moondog · 26/12/2007 22:25

fUCK OFF WORKS NICELY.

sERIOULSY THOUGH, WOULD JUST NOD AND SMILE AND SAY 'yES,WHEN WE'RE READY'

BaubleMonkey · 26/12/2007 22:26

How about "Don't be so ridiculous. I have better things to do than clean carpets and wash pants all day, especially while I'm pregnant"?

Sidge · 26/12/2007 22:28

I can think of a few but they are swear words

Seriously thought it is very rare for an 18 month old to be ready for toilet training. It would be more toilet timing than training - the child needs to know they are about to wee/poo not that they have already been. Sitting them on a potty every hour and catching a wee is not toilet training.

IME most children are at least 2 when they really crack it.

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Shitemum · 26/12/2007 22:29

Tell them you'll start next week and come and stay at their house until he's 'clean'...

WanderingHolly · 26/12/2007 22:32

I think you're doing the right thing in waiting.

Say "No, he's one and a half, not two and a half. Silly you!"

Bluestocking · 26/12/2007 22:32

There really is no point until the child expresses an interest. Just smile and say that you appreciate their concern but you'd prefer to wait until your DS is ready.

ArrietyClock · 26/12/2007 22:34

I kind of assumed that everyone waited for the summer......Am I being naíve?

coldtits · 26/12/2007 22:36

I'm with "Don't be ridiculous!"

Give it a go in June. Don't hold your breath, especially if your child is male!

FrannyandZooey · 26/12/2007 22:37

Appearing confident about what you are doing usually helps

"Oh, thanks, but we are quite happy waiting" might work well for you.

imdreamingofawhiteKITTYmas · 26/12/2007 22:39

I have been told many a time not to try a girl until they are at least 2 and a boy until 2 1/2. Theres something about a boys plumbing that makes them less likely to feel the need to go.

I started DD1 at 2 on her insistence, big big mistake, I spent the next year wiping pee off the carpet and then washing the carpet. She just wasn't ready.

It's one of those competitive parenting things how quickly you can get them out of nappies.

DD2 is 2 next month and I am not even thinking about potty training her until the Summer.

seeker · 26/12/2007 22:39

"Yes I have got him clean - I change his nappy every time it needs it. Thank you very much for asking"

BaubleMonkey · 26/12/2007 22:40

Tell them that although nappies are expensive, another year's worth is still cheaper than replacing every carpet and mattress in your home.

My IL's were obsessed with this as well. MIL bought DS a potty BEFORE HE WAS BORN!!! Of course her 4 were all dry by the year...

Original poster

lorisparkle · 27/12/2007 16:02

Thanks everyone, your messages made me smile and gave me lots of ideas and reassurance. As we don't see them that often it hopefully won't be that bad and my DH usually accepts what I say.

Thanks again

OP posts:

TheMNPeacekeepingForce · 27/12/2007 16:05

Had exactly same sort of thing yesterday from MIL - saying dh was trained at 18 mths (ds 2.5), yawn yawn yawn.
I did the explain about modern nappies thing but she so wasn't listening - argh!!

laundrylover · 27/12/2007 16:11

(whispers)You know some children are ready at 18 months, even in this 'modern' age! My DD1 was dry by then and DD2 is just out of nappies day and night at 20 months.

I just think that the last generation maybe had a point and that there would be a lot less nappies going to landfill if HVs and disposable nappy companies didn't constantly spout this nonsense about waiting until they are 2, 2.5 or whatever.

Ok rant over and yes I agree that it is up to the parents and no one else and that different kids are reay at different ages - I just wanted to present the other side of the argument.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 27/12/2007 16:12

Just say he isn't ready and you will train him when he is. If you try and do it before he is ready it will be a lot more stressful than it really needs to be. Your child, your decision.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 27/12/2007 16:14

DS1 started at 2 years 11 months. Took 6 months before we could go out without spare clothes.

DD asked from 17 months, 3 attempts (mainly me not giving it 100% due to being pg.) Dry before 2.

DS2 started at 2 and 4-5 months. Done really well but still poo in pants/nappy when asleep. Is now 2 and a half.

ALL kids are different and will do it when they can.

JingleBelgoHoHoHo · 27/12/2007 16:15

laundrylover - I agree - some children are ready at the age of 18 months - my dd2 was. My dd1 was probably also ready at that age, but it just never occured to me she could be ready because everyone says they have to be at least two years old.

But like with all stages of development, there is a large age range, and some children are ready before others. The thing about potty training is though, you don't really know whether they are truely ready or not until you try.

It certainly saves on washing/buying nappies!

LoveMyGirls · 27/12/2007 16:17

I've had to put up with this klind of talk for about a year and we have just potty trained dd2 (she is 2 and 3 mths) - I felt the time was right, she was ready i was ready and I had the time to put everything into making dd2 successful at it.

We have been training her since saturday and she has had 1 accident, 1 ask you mil how many accident her children had when they were "supposedly" trained.

She may have "toilet timed" her children as was popular back in the day, these days we toilet train our children which means they are old enough to use the words pooh, wee, potty, they understand what it means to wait 5 mins (so you can find a loo while you're out)and are capable of waiting those 5 mins (or longer) can pull their own pants down and up. Go to the toilet/ potty and do a wee/ pooh within a few mins of needing it.

JodieG1 · 27/12/2007 16:18

18 months! My ds1 was over 3 before he was out of nappies and still wears them at night and he's 4 now. Ignore them. Dd was also over 3.

stripeymama · 27/12/2007 16:28

Oh tell 'em to sod off!

For dd's first Christmas (she was 9 months old) ex in-laws bought her a "Three-in-one Toilet Training System".

Apparently ex was potty trained by 12 months. This probably explains all sorts of things about him and his relationship with his mother....

laundrylover · 27/12/2007 16:39

At 20 months DD2 has not had an accident for 3 weeks and can ask for the loo and wait til she gets there. She has had 2 accidents in the night. You are all right - all kids are different but some will be ready well before they are 2.

As Belgo says, the issue I have is that people are not willing to try them with a potty so how do they know if they are ready or not? A child, even at 2 or 3, is not suddenly going to annouce that they wish to use the loo and come out of nappies without some hints or encouragment from an adult.

JodieG1 · 27/12/2007 16:51

When they're ready it's very quick, took us a few days and I watched for the signs. If they don't even know they are doing a wee/poo then how would they know when to go to the toilet? I think most children a potty trained a lot older than 24 months old. No point rushing them as it makes no difference how young they are when they're out of nappies, they all get there in the end.

TheMNPeacekeepingForce · 27/12/2007 19:00

ds is 2.6 next week - I started him in pants tonight and he just wee'd in them - even though the potty is right here and I'd very recently asked him if he needed to go.
He did ask to go to the potty literally as soon as it was coming out - but too late.
Does that mean he isn't ready?

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 27/12/2007 19:01

Sounds like he is starting thr process to being ready.

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