Returning to education w/teen children

[PavlovtheCat01]

I want to return to education. Post grad level. Financially I can make it work.
I am 44yrs old, married with two children, one aged 15, one aged 12.
I have a disability which has resulted in me losing my job (in the process of medical retirement being decided by employer). It won’t stop me studying, but I’ll need to do part time.
I want to return to use my brain, to keep it alive, to expand my knowledge in the area of work I’ve always been interested in. The purpose is to study, not some higher career goal as my health is so unpredictable I can’t/don’t want to commit to a career plan that won’t happen.
My husband thinks it’s too late for me to do it. He thinks it’s pointless as there is no purpose to it other than a bit of paper and some initials after my name. He thinks I should be focussing on the children’s education, working on getting them to and through university, I’ve had my time, it’s now their time, as that’s what being a parent is about.

I get his point, but also hate the idea of me being ‘done’ in my own right now.

Is it possible to do both? Am I being selfish? Entitled? Privilege? Should I wait until their education is finished, seeing as I have no specific career goal to work towards?

Of course its possible. I'm 49 and currently doing an MBA part time as well as working FT and parenting a 15 yo. Its blooming hard work, but if I wasn't working it would be totally possible in school hours and I am loving extending my brain in a different direction

There’s a whole new board full of people dealing with this and similar issues. Mature study and retraining - here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mature_students

You should find plenty of reassuring posts if you browse through the threads.

I’m sorry your husband is so unsupportive.

I think that teens actually respond well to seeing you taking your education seriously and prioritising learning, deadlines etc. Presumably they are in school 8.30 to 3 30 every school day so what is he proposing that you do during that time? You might even be able to get a role which is more suitable for you and will work around your condition.

I disagree with your husband. You don't know where post grad study will lead until you do it.

And 44 is a few decades too young to think that 'you've had your time'.

You studying is in fact excellent role modelling for your children.

I'm much older than you and doing an MSc with the Open University.

Definitely research and do your studying.

Omg! Just been over there, found a thread about the exact course with people my age and older, with young kids and older kids. So thank you!!! Feeling a tad tearful. Daft. But maybe I can do it. Maybe I can convince DH to support me as can’t do it without his support.

It’s a pleasure.

And, as you saw, many many people are returning to study when they’re much older than you. (I did - and it brought incredible things …)

My mum started a part time undergrad course when I was 13. It was great for her and for me for a number of reasons:

• excellent role model
• I had to become more independent
• she had a much more relevant knowledge of the university system when I came to apply for uni
• we learned together, obviously not the same things but the discipline, methods and application to get assignments done.

You can’t be responsible for getting your children to and through university- they will be adults by then and they need to take responsibility for themselves. Also, if your husband thinks it’s a parental responsibility to do that, maybe it should fall on his shoulders?

Currently I am mostly trying to keep up with housework in the day time as I’m always so knackered and disorganised! I have no idea how I managed my health issues and family life and work for so long as I don’t seem to have enough time to do everything that needs doing! I’ll need to get better at that before I add study in but I’ll go out of my mind if I don’t do something ‘work like’ in time!

Oh and I studied A’level English with my mum (it was an evening course because it clashed with a day course I was doing) and it was great! We studied together and shared ideas.