Finding parenting my 13 month old so difficult

[BrambleRoses]

He’s lovely. Not a notably ‘difficult’ baby in any way, but he’s at the age where he is never, ever still. When at home he moves constantly, wandering around and picking up anything you put down, bashing toys and generally into everything.

This is totally as it should be and I adore him but I am struggling a bit to know what to ‘do’ on days when he’s at home. We go to the park but because his walking isn’t confident he can only really use the swings. He does seem to enjoy activities like feeding ducks and walking through woods but weather dependent and also can’t really do in the evening (yet - obviously summer is on the way.)

Changing nappies is so difficult. You can sometimes distract him with a toy but sometimes it takes two of us. He also hates having his teeth brushed - is there anything I can do to make this a bit more bearable?

I’m also unsure about discipline at this age. He does pull hair and slap faces sometimes and if I say No firmly he cries but then carries on?

Just looking for tips really … he’s obviously transitioning from baby to toddler at an alarming rate and I know that’s a whole new set of parenting skills!

My DS enjoyed the Baby Club on TV at this age and we watched it every day. It's very interactive, you're encouraged to hide something different in a bag every episode so your baby could explore it with the babies on TV. We did the same walk every day too. Toddler groups are good at this age or meeting up with friends to break the day up a bit.
For teeth we just did a quick job and then let him chew the brush. I would put him down and walk right away if he hit me.

Thanks. I’d love to go to toddler groups but I’m at work in the week (hoping to change this next year) otherwise we’d be at every group going.

He isn’t really into TV. I will try him with that but I’ve tried him with Night Garden and Hey Bear and he just seems to prefer being on the move!

I have 3 ds who were all like this, ive never had those toddlers thay sit for ages. We went out a lot..... I found that baby stage such a breeze in comparison to the toddler bit tbh..... but mine are all older now ans super sporty, fit so hang in there op unless you have more then it begins all over again.

Get the pots and pans out with some spoons.
Bowls with some rice, pasta etc in.
Balls, bubbles.
In the garden wrapped up, some toys outside. Let him potter.
Bath slime for some messy time.
Soft plays (there's baby areas, groups, swimming)
Disco light, kids music on.
Play dough.
Finger puppets.
Blocks.

I would probably advise doing toy rotation.

Nappy changes, they get easier they all go through a stage of hating it.

Tooth brushing, I used to do it in the bath tbh whilst he was lying down. We then changed to him doing it after.

The hitting, firm no, put him down.

We use silicon finger toothbrush, and my DS loves it.

I think Janet Lansbury's stuff is absolutely brilliant for this age group. Both for discipline and generally not getting caught up in entertaining them. She has a free blog/podcast.

Do standing up nappy changes. Start off with pull ups but if you get good at it you can learn to do it with a normal nappy. Just get fast and it's not too bad. You might have to pin him down or bring out the nuclear distractions for a poo, but at least the wee nappies will be easier.

I find the key to surviving this age group is seeing other families with toddlers, if you can't go to groups can you get together with other families at the weekend? Swimming is great for tiring them out as well if your pool is open. Swimming lessons can be a loophole if it is not generally open.

For tooth brushing at this age they aren't generally eating much sugar (if he is then maybe consider restricting this!) so the important thing is to establish the routine and activity rather than really making sure they get a good scrub. I used to prioritise one quarter of DS' mouth per night and try to alternate so they all got brushed eventually but if he is having none of it, just letting him chew the brush is better than nothing. Tooth brushing in the bath is great too.

For discipline they don't really have any impulse control at this age so even if you make it clear you don't like something that isn't going to stop them by itself - you can move them away from the thing as you say no so that it associates itself with an action and has the effect of making it impossible for them to repeat. Or just redirect as most of their "misbehaviour" at this age is just them trying to play/explore. So for example redirect a slap to a high five or pulling hair to pulling a cord from your hoodie or holding onto a toy. There's not much sense in doing punishments or anything like that as he won't yet have the capacity to remember and keep that in mind next time he wants to do whatever it is. Teaching them the words for hot/ouch is a good idea as well so that you have an instant "No! Hot!" warning if they are about to hurt themselves.

There was a trapped toddler parents survival thread running on here for a while which was great, that's worth a look if it's still going :)