3 year old is the boss- boundaries ? How?

[FeliciaHi]

My DS is nearly 4 years old but quite a young 4. Since me and his dad separated when he was 2 his behaviour and sleep have gotten worse. I’ve struggled with my mental health therefore I’ve given in to demands to the point now where 70% of the time he’s a nightmare. I spend my days just surviving.
He is very attached to me, if I leave the room he’s shouting of me constantly as he wants me in the room with him (tea time is always fun whilst I’m trying to cook!), if his drink is on the table next to him he will shout of me to come and get it, wants carrying all the time, whines loads, if my partner is there he will not let them do anything, eg if I’m getting a bath and partner downstairs with them and DS wants a drink, he will just scream at partner and say he wants mummy to get it. He gets on fine with them when I’m not there, but if I am there then I am all he wants.

I just want to be able to go for a wee in peace !!!!

How do I start setting boundaries again? This morning I refused to pick him up from the kitchen to bring him into the living room, 15 mins of crying and shouting and he’s still sat there!! At the end of my tether with him. He’s the opposite with his dad, behaves great, sleeps great etc

Choose some things to work on and be prepared to battle. Remember not to give in when it’s hard as you will undo the effort you’ve put in so far. Stick yo your guns and remember at all times although he sounds like he is dying he will be ok and it is for his own benefit x

I feel your pain. I can only suggest being totally consistent in ignoring his tantrums. By responding you are reinforcing the behaviour.

15 mins isn't really that long. I would do as PP said and pick one or two things that you won't compromise on and be prepared for a massive battle of wills. Then when you've cracked those move on. It's going to be hard. Feel for you OP.

Before making any changes work to get him independant while you’re in front of him. Praise him for getting his own water bottle / doing something else for himself.

Have a look at this website. I follow them on insta and they give some great ideas on boundary setting and dealing with big emotions etc. I've found them very useful and have changed a lot of my behaviours which has had a positive impact on DS behaviour.

biglittlefeelings.com/