Mum guilt / 6 week old

[Ivfgottahope]

Wondering if anyone has ever experienced similar… my 6 week old DD just seems to be consistently cranky when she’s awake. The doctor said she has silent reflux (but didn’t prescribe anything as she feeds well and is gaining weight - but will review if necessary) so I’m sure that’s a contributing factor but she just never seems content at all.

When she wakes up, she obviously cries so I do a feed and nappy change then spend the next hour or so until the next nap taking her for stroll in the pram (motion soothes her), doing tummy time (which she hates) and just generally not really being able to put her down for longer than ten mins without a grizzle. I sing and ‘chat’ to her all the time but is she bored? How much does a 6 week old need playing with!?

The HV and Dr this week also asked if she has smiled yet (she hasn’t) and sounded surprised when I said no, so I’m now worrying there’s an underlying issue. She turned six weeks yesterday and now concerned she’s lagging developmentally. I had a terrible pregnancy so pretty anxious generally.

I feel like I’m failing as a mum as I can’t seem to keep my baby happy…. Or make her smile! Anyone experienced anything from the above?

I have a 9 week old and have recently invested in a stretchy wrap sling which is absolutely brilliant at helping him to sleep during day - wish I had bought it earlier - I went to a sling workshop near me which helped me to figure out how to wear it
Also I have looked into the 4th trimester - which is babies 1st 12 weeks - then getting used to being outside the womb and you adjusting to parenthood

Here are some links:

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/emotional-and-social-development/what-fourth-trimester

You are doing a fantastic job - don’t worry about smiles - they will come xx

Sorry - the sling helps him sleep and soothe when I walk around / bounce him through motion and also gives me my hands back to get things done - like make a cup of tea !

My 19 week old was the same, first constantly unhappy and moaning and I took it so personally. He started taking a dummy at 6 weeks and felt like I could breathe again. I didn't want to use one before but it's a natural soother for them and helps with reflux (something to do with the esophagus). Is your baby bottle fed?

Also was your baby born early? Mine was 2 weeks early so developmentally will be 2 weeks behind so didn't smile until 8 weeks. My friend had her baby 2 weeks late and was smiling at 4 weeks. I thought all babies (if full term) all came out and start at day 1 but the wonder weeks app explains development is by due date.

And even if your baby was on time or late, your baby will smile! All babies are different but I know it's hard not to stress. I suffered so badly with it, I hope you're doing ok.

At 6 weeks they don’t stay awake long 30mins to 45mins.
Could you be over stimulating her?
I found my baby slept at least 18hrs at that age.
At 6 weeks she could also be going through a developmental leap, I find the wonder weeks app useful and reassuring to know that her being unsettled is a phase.
My baby is 12 weeks now and still gets cranky if she is awake longer than 1.5hrs.

I’m trying to remember what I did with my 6 week old, honestly I think most of awake time was spent feeding and changing nappy. I would only put her on her play mat first thing on a morning while I ate breakfast.

As hard as it is this all sounds fairly normal for 6 weeks, my two were like that anyway. In my experience it improves a lot by 10-12 weeks.

As others have said, babies can’t stay awake for long at all at that age (45 mins-1 hour) and don’t need a lot of entertainment so be careful you aren’t overstimulating her or letting her get overtired. Really all you need to do at 6 weeks is make sure they are warm, fed and close to you. Try a sling, that really helped us.

Good luck! It will get easier. Just take it one day at a time and try not to agonise too much about why baby is crying, that’s just what they do sometimes, it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.

She’s feeding well and gaining weight

This annoys me sooooooooooo much with doctors and silent reflux

I’m a maternity nurse and see this so often

To be blunt. The reason your baby is feeding well and gaining weight is to relive the pain

Silent reflux is when acid goes up their throats. Burns /hurts and back down again

It’s isn’t silent as they cry as in pain and they are rarely sick

Most stupid name for it

Anyway. None of this is your fault

Ask doctor to prescribe omepezole

Cmpa can make silent reflux worse so maybe cut up dairy if Bf or ask for neocate if bottle

A dummy can help as creates salvia which is a natural antiseptic so will help sooth

Feel free to messsge me if you want any more info x