Age gap between first and second?

[TreaclePlum]

Hi all
I dunno why I feel the need to ask but wondered what everyone's age gaps were between first and second babies?

Mine is 1year and I'm thinking once she's 2 then maybe we start trying for a second.

Just wondered everyone else's age gap. Did you plan it? Pros and cons of the age gap.

I know everyone is different circs. Everyone's little ones are different.

Just interested!

There'll be 2 years 4 months between DD1 and DD2 (when she arrives). Completely unplanned but happy with the age gap, hopefully they'll be quite close when they're older

2y 5m between dd and ds. It has been fine. They played together a lot when small with Lego and stuff. Now as they’re older, they don’t have that many interests in common but because she’s considerably more mature that he, there’s very little fighting or friction. She helps him with homework and keeps an eye on his online activity for me!!

5 years - dd2 was born in the December of dd's reception year at school. Covid aside it was great for settling dd into school and having days with dd2. Now they are 7 and 2 dd1 is amazing with dd2 and although it's hard to find stuff that's aimed at both of them, dd1 enjoys seeing dd2 experience new things so is often happy coming along to stuff that's really a bit young for her

12 months (and a few days) between Dc1 & Dc2. All small gaps between 4dc, 4 under 4 for a while.

2 years 8 mths it was ideal and they are still friends and do things together sometimes as neither in a relationship. DS 3 born 5 yrs 2 mths after then DD 5yrs 10mths. They were close when younger but DD only keeps in touch with DS1. Those two are the closest of all of them. He was marvellous when she was a baby and they have remained close ever since even though they are nearly 14 years between them. They share a lot of jokes mainly I think about me. She is always laughing and giggling when they see each other. He looked after her when I was in hospital once for five days. DS2 hardly says anything to her and doesn’t really bother with her. DS3 and DD were close until late teens. So I think you can’t really predict.

2 years 10 months here & it’s been ideal for us. They are almost 5 and almost 2 now and the best of friends! I mean, they bicker over toys and it’s not all sunshine & rainbows but overall, it’s been better than I could have dream of. DD1 was old enough to be really helpful when we had a baby. She’d fetch us nappies, fetch my water and would help tidy up etc. She was potty trained & slept reasonably well. She could follow instructions and was reasonably well behaved when we were out & about!

They really love each other & play together really nicely. They are close enough to have similar interests for now .. things like softplay, swimming, trampoline parks, regular parks etc are good activities for both of them! M

Personally, the idea of a baby mid-toddler tantrums/neediness is my worst nightmare 😂 I was glad we were through that when DD2 came along!

3.5 years (3y6m almost to the day) and it's worked well for us so far (DC1 is nearly 5, DC2 is 16m). One of the best things about a 3+ year age gap is that the funded childcare hours allow you to continue sending the oldest to nursery at little/no expense while on maternity leave with the baby. Other benefits are that DC1 was out of nappies before DC2 was born (although has had a few night time accidents since, and still needs help wiping his bum). He is reasonably independent and can occupy himself for short periods while dealing with the baby. The age gap is not so big that they're into completely different things; they're stating to play together now DC2 is old enough and I hope they will continue to. Don't get me wrong, it's nowhere near perfect - DC2 wants to be involved in everything DC1 is doing, and we have to keep his stuff out of her reach or keep her out of the way. But apart from that it's not too bad.

Another good thing is that DC1 was no longer by the time DC2 came along, so no competing nap schedules, although we do now have to get her down early enough for her afternoon nap so she gets long enough before we have to wake her for the school run. That's a minor practical point though.

DC1 was no longer napping

Nearly 17 months between my 2. Now 16 months old and eldest will be 3 in April.

Biggest pro ever is that they both nap every day for 2-3 hours at the same time and it’s amazing! Love the fact that they will grow up together and have had each other throughout lockdowns.

Biggest con is DS1 not being independent at all when DS2 came along so often had to pick him up when DS2 was in the sling and that sort of thing. Got much easier once over the age of 2.

I would do it all over again but we plan on having a 3 year age gap between DS2 and our next so the other 2 will be in nursery.

Ours will be 4.5 year gap which is what we had planned. Dd1 will be startibg school just as 2nd one is born.

I didn't want to be at home with 2 of them, and wanted to make sure i could have some time just me and the baby. Also means dd1 is pretty self sufficient in lots of things which wil make it easier

We waited until DC1 turned two and started trying for DC2. Fell pregnant right away so when DC2 comes in the next few weeks there will be 2 years and 9 months between them.

No idea if this will be a good gap or not 😂

We have just under 3 years - perfect for us as DD was more independent with toilet training, getting dressed, walking alongside the pram, she also understood and was sleeping well. We also had free nursery hours so it gave me time with just the baby

1 & 2 have a 5 year gap. Wanted a 2 year gap but 2 miscarriages between them. Only problem with the gap was jealousy.
We have 6 now, 2&3 16.5mth gap, 3&4/5 just under 3yr gap, 4/5&6 6yr gap. 1 to 2 was the biggest adjustment, the rest just slot in. They all get on fairly well most of the time.

My own children have a 10 year age gap. My grandchildren have a 26 month age gap. It’s a bloody whirlwind! The oldest is always being so rough with the youngest, so gets told off a lot, but he loves her to bits. He doesn’t like her using his toys, and generally is as you’d expect of a 3 year old - quite self centred. Jealousy between siblings is very real! (i grew up with siblings who had less than 2 years between each of us, which is 1 reason why I didn’t want my children so close together

2.5 years. Absolutely perfect. The first year was hard, but holidays, days out, life experiences etc (the best parenting times) have been made so much more easier and enjoyable as a family due to a fairly small age gap and being able to tailor activities to suit both.

We will have a 3y1m gap once DD arrives. Timed for maternity leave to coincide with 30 hours nursery funding.

2 years 3 months between ours. We'd planned for an 18 month gap but sadly we had a miscarriage that meant that couldn't happen. The toddler gets jealous of the baby but loves her.

DS2 is due 2 years and 4 months after DS1. We thought there would be a slightly longer gap but it took much less time to conceive the second time around.

DH and I are both the oldest of 2 with 2 years and 9 months between us and our siblings, and I think it's a good gap in that as adults we're both close to our siblings. I used to fight with my little brother a bit when I was a child but we did have common interests, and since about the time we both left school we've been very good friends.

DS1 is settled in nursery 3 days a week, so I will get a bit of time alone with the new baby at least.

4 years.

Pros- dd1 was already potty trained and able to dress herself etc wheb dd2 came along. Just as well as complications meant at times I was on dr prescribed bed rest and running around after a toddler all day would have proven very challenging. And pre school then school meant I got time alone with the baby and I cooked soend time with dd1 alone when baby napped and was in bed at night. Clothes definitively grown out of and able to be handed down. With a smaller gap there might well jabe been arguments amd insistence something still fitted.

Cons. At 11 and 15 now it's difficult to find things they both enjoy that's not to young for dd1 and not too old for dd2. It also meant I still had 4 more years of school runs after dd1 went to high school. I'd be done by now if there was a smaller gap.

19 months (now 2 and 3) and it's been perfect. They are great little pals, play together, fight a bit, enjoy the same toys, groups and programs. DS1 doesn't remember a time before DS2, he didn't really pay him much attention for the first few months but has never seemed jealous. And aside from sleep deprivation, as there is always one waking up in the night, there are no cons in my eyes.