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Parenting

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Teenager

2 replies

sxround · 14/01/2022 18:48

Been with my partner now for 6 years and living together for about 4.5Yrs. Partner has a daughter that is now 18 and I have always had a good relationship with her. For the last year or so, I feel i just dont have the connection or shared humour with her that I used to have. She never knew her dad, I have never suggested that I am stepping into those shoes (much as I would love to) as she does not really want that which I understand and respect. But for sure I have for a number of years now been the next best thing if you know what I mean? Since her brother who is now 26 moved out 18 months ago (who she never really got on with) the dynamics have kind of changed in the house. She is very clingy to her mum and the moment she walks into the house she comes out of her room with big hugs for her mum and lots of laughter etc, but when it is just me in the house she is in her room the whole time and hardly speaks a word. I am probably being stupid and selfish, but it sort of hurts as I try my best but cannot work out what I am doing wrong? I have brought the subject up and she says she does not know what I mean? I am pobably juzt being paranoid but it is really bothering me. We get on fine, but I just feel like I am surplus to requirements in her life and all she wants is her mum.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 14/01/2022 18:55

18 is a tricky time, hovering on the edge of leaving home , all sorts of changes. I remember feeling a longing for the time when I was really small.
I imagine she likes the one on one attention she can have from her Mum now that her brother has left.
I think all you can do is be as loving and kind as ever, and as time goes on you will hopefully reconnect . Is there anything that you all enjoy doing together ? Is there anything that she might sometimes like to do with just you ?

sxround · 14/01/2022 19:08

I think where i struggle is concealing how much it hurts me which in turn pushes her away more. I find myself over analysing things and I wish i could stop, but it just bothers me so much just now. I just keep asking what it is that makes her not pleased to see me as much. Stupid I know.

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